(Sort of) Going to Church Together

Even though I had been sitting there for 30 minutes, it didn't hit me until just before stake conference started this morning that Jamesson would be attending the same conference.

Of course you know what came next - the tears.

I've been so pre-occupied with you-know-who that often I hear just some or even part of the announcements in Sacramento meeting, which must have been the case last week when they probably mentioned that today would be a regional stake conference broadcast.

So Jamesson and I got to hear the same talks and sing the same songs at the same time.

But little does he know that Bailey ripped one during the opening prayer.

I Need a Fix

Often I turn to chocolate.

Others turn to pharmaceuticals.

Some people drink themselves into oblivion.

The list of vices is long.

I've discovered a combination, maybe The Perfect Combination, that keeps me from losing my mind.

My magic-in-a-drive-thru: Kneader's 1/2 of a turkey sandwich, side of chicken noodle soup, and (not one but) two chocolate chip cookies. Without a bi-weekly (if not weekly) trip, I would never be able to retract my claws and function.

Maybe I Don't Hate It

I hate that tomorrow is September 1.

I LOATHE this time of year.

To me fall is just rushing us in to winter.

It's just a corridor leading me to freezing temperatures and leaf-less trees.

But I'm finding myself enjoying the cooler temperatures.

I daydream about the fall decorations that I'm going to put on my front porch.

And I'm thinking about soup recipes. A LOT. (clam chowder, enchilada - that I'm going to make up myself, and chicken chili just to name a few)

So this year I'm going to turn over a new leaf

that's crumpling and turning brown

that's going to be raked in to a pile and will either be thrown in the trash or... burned.

Back to School Blahs

It took two thirds of the summer, but I was really happy with the cohesive-ness I was feeling between the kids and I just before they went back to school.

Sure, they still bickered.

But we had settled in to a great routine. Chores. Help mom with the baby. Watch baby so mom could do chores. Play.

It worked and we were comfy.

And then it happened.

School.

It only took two days and I lost all ground.

(sigh) Don't get me started on the back to school clutter.

Coming Soon

Two weeks ago I decided that I was ready to officially and commitedly return to Just Jess.

The next day our internet went down and stayed down for 2 weeks.

I'm trying to convince myself that it wasn't a sign.

What's in a Name?

When Maddie and Isaac were young, I never referred to myself (or let anyone else refer to me) as 'Mommy'. I was 'Momma' or 'Mom'.

Even when Maddie went through that phase when she was 2-3 of calling us by our first names, I much preferred 'Jess' to 'Mommy'. Boy did it drive her daddy crazy when she called him David.

There are obviously many, many differences between my babies then and my baby now.

But one thing now is for sure: I am Bailey's mommy.

The Night I Ripped His Heart Out

Do you ever (on those rare occasions that the remote is in YOUR hand) put on a show that you KNOW your husband is going to object to?

I do. Just to test how long it takes for him to pitch a fit.

But he didn't the other night when I turned on Steal Magnolias during the Christmas party scene, just as Shelby is announcing her pregnancy. David had never seen it, and decided to play along.

He had missed all the character building, so I had to explain the friendships and the close mother-daughter relationship Shelby and Malin have.

He watched.

I, of course, was fighting tears from the get-go. But I didn't warn him.

I didn't prepare him...

So as the family is gathered in the hospital around the life-less Shelby, in a child-like voice David asks "what's he signing?".

(I didn't answer)

Then in that same, innocent voice "they're going to let her... die?"

But then he turned back in to a man "stupid movie".