Not on Sundays

Apparently my children have been to a few too many funerals. Yesterday our chapel had big, beautiful, dark red poinsettias in front of the pulpit. There were several plants lined up, it looked very nice and very festive. During Sacrament meeting poor Maddie leaned over and asked “is there a coffin up there?”

Let the Shakes Begin!

In recent months I have been so, so careful about my food intake. Through trial and error over the last several years, I have figured out that many foods drastically affect me physically and emotionally. I’ve been ‘on guard’, especially since my brief stint of taking Glucophag last August in attempt to control my blood sugar. I do my best to control it on my own, staying away from things like soda and cake and even mayonnaise (newly added to my long list of ‘can’t haves’, which tragically means no spinach dip). But like all human beings, the Christmas season can really weaken my will power. Today I have partaken of two different treats that are major no-no’s. Funny enough, one of my ‘indulges’ was simply out of politeness. I can literally feel my muscles shutting down (not that I am buff or anything) and I am feeling lethargic. With the usual Christmas-season activities that start as early as tomorrow, I must be strong. I must dig deep so that I can resist the gingerbread man with chocolate pants and frosting eyeballs. I have to turn the other way when the chocolate-peanut butter roll calls my name. But let me tell you, I all but ran from the slices of fruit cake included on the dessert tray up in the Admin. Department here at work. Really? Fruit cake? It’s not 1950!

Murphy's Laws Revisted #1

The one rare day you are on time to work will be your boss's day off.

Smoky the Bear Has Disowned Me

I have shamed one of my childhood idols. Smokey the Bear would turn up his nose at me once he learned of last night’s fiasco. Enrichment started at 6:30, and I was at Siri’s practicing her solo (for the ward party) until 5:45, so dinner needed to be quick and simple. I put a pot of water on for Macaroni and Cheese and then David and I headed to the bedroom (not for lovin’) to work on something at the computer. Maddie came in and said that the cookies were burned. We told her that the remaining few bar cookies weren’t burnt, they just got a little dark around the edges, and that they would be okay. Then Isaac came in to let us know that it was smoky in the kitchen. It only took ½ a second to realize that I had turned on the wrong burner. Instead of heating up Mac-N-Cheese water, I had set fire to those last couple of bar cookies in my biggest Pyrex casserole dish. David got to the kitchen first, picked up the flaming pan with the help of a dish towel and headed for the sliding door in the dining room that leads out to the deck. Before he tossed the pan into the snow he hesitated, knowing that it would shatter in the icy conditions. It did just as he suspected and then he buried the embers in the snow. Our house was unbelievably smoky. We banished the kids to our room and David kept his face covered with a dish towel and we both gasped as we tried to air out our still-new house. With the outside temperature literally zero degrees, we had the sliding door open, the front door open, two front windows open, and the bathroom window open. My clothes and jacket were so stinky that when I walked into Enrichment (on time) an older woman said “something is burning” to which I replied, “no, it’s just me”. This morning I (reluctantly) lit some candles to help with the stinky smoke that was still lingering. I hope to find even more improvement when I get home after work tonight. Yes, I blew out the candles. PS When I dropped off the kids at school this morning it was a whopping -5 degrees.

I'm No Al Roker

(Written Monday, Posted Tuesday) Just how cold is it? I’m sorry that I have nominated myself weather girl and that you are unfortunately on the receiving end, but we’re talking extreme temperatures people. The other night Siri and I went to Costco and then back to her house so that our families could spend more time together. There wasn’t enough room in her fridge for our milk so we just set ours out on her porch for us to grab when we left. We played games and visited and then left a couple of hours later, giving our milk the opportunity to morph in to a block of ice. It still has not completely thawed, even though it has been two days and we have left it out on the counter for a few minutes here and there. Maddie left her gloves at school on Friday and then went sledding for a couple of hours that afternoon with bare hands. Friends, it could not have been more than 15 degrees. I ripped her a new one and she was not allowed to sled all weekend. Per my mom’s suggestion, tonight I will show her images of people with frostbite. Our street has a slight slope to it, and just beyond the intersection at the bottom where it comes to a ‘T’ there is a little drop-off. This morning I almost slid off of the drop-off, gently braking and then E-braking in effort to gain control. The kids were a little worried. Not unlike the worry they experienced yesterday. When we left church Thad and Siri were in the car behind us so David decided to goof off a bit. We went sideways and almost rolled and narrowly missed a pole. Dork. Our forecasted high tomorrow is 5 degrees. When I drop off the kids at school in the morning it will probably be around -3. I am having a little anxiety over this. Part of me thinks that I should call in sick to shelter my precious offspring from these extreme conditions. A note was sent home last week from the principal reminding parents that the kids will be sent out for recess, even when the temps dip below zero. While at lunch with David today I asked him if we are expected to get a break from this or is this IT for the next 6 months. I later checked on line and found that we will indeed be getting a break towards the end of this week. On Friday we are expecting to get up to 34 degrees. By the way, there are still two guys at work that show up in shorts every day. Breaking News: the forecast has been revised. Tomorrow’s high is 2 degrees with the overnight low -13 on Wednesday. Please come rescue me.