Fetch Me My Cane

In my ward, I'm in the older half. By far. I might even go so far as to say that I'm in the older 25%.

A couple of weeks ago, it occured to me that I'm older than our bishop and his two counselors, our high counselor representative, the Sunday school president, the YM president, the RS president, and possibly the entire Primary presidency.

Sigh.

But I'm here to report that there is a silver lining, and that the timing couldn't be better.

I have a new visiting teacher and somehow (somehow!) she's around my mom's age. I have to say that as I'm about to deliver this puppy without my mom, sisters and girls - something I've never done before - there is something reassuring in knowing that this visiting teacher (whom I don't even know that well yet but is a grandmother and full of experience) is just down the hill (I'm serious - it's Utah - our backyards touch).

5 Days Later

Today I felt a little bit of Christmas.

Sure, it's New Year's Eve eve.

But as parents, sometimes we just get caught up in the hustle and bustle that we don't stop and 'smell the roses'.

I did stop today, without even meaning to.

We went to Kneader's for lunch, all four of us, even though it wasn't our first choice (unfortunately no one else was craving creamy pesto salad dressing from Spaghetti Factory).

We sat and ate our sandwiches.

By the fire.

With classic Christmas carols playing (by classic I mean sung by the best of them, like Judy Garland).

And to complete the scene by the fireplace with the lovely music, the snow (just for our benefit) changed to the large, puffy, slow-falling flakes.

We all paused.

And enjoyed our December 30th Christmas.

SO Over It

This morning I had a dream that I was back in high school. There were a couple of familiar faces, but not everyone was there.

I was happy to see the old 'friends', but they were NOT happy to see me, and went so far as to exclude me from many, many activities.

In the dream I was so sad, just as the real-life teenage version of me would have been all of those years ago.

When I eventually woke up, my grown-up reaction couldn't have been more opposite. Unlike some other haunting dreams, I quickly shrugged off the rejection of my former peers.

"Oh, well."

"Who needs 'em?"

Hmmmm... I wonder how different things would have been if I had developed that mentality 20 years sooner.

PS There was a lot of pink-brown influences in this dream. Even in my sleep...

Come and Gone

Look at me... I'm blogging.

Our Christmas houseguests have headed home.

The bedding has been stripped and washed.

Many towels have been washed and folded.

The fridge has been cleaned out (with the exception of the enormous pan of homemade mac-n-cheese).

The hardwood floors have been cleaned, but all it takes is for one person to walk through with their shoes on and it's all for naught.

Neither the microwave nor the garage door are working properly. Sigh

But I have to say, the nine days with James and Lynette (and their four kids) were better than I expected. They put up with my emotional state (caused by my physical state). They put up with the bitter cold and the icky smog. And they helped make our first-ever Christmas away from home special.

With their departure, is life-back-to-normal? Just temporarily. It's count-down to baby.

After our dentist appointments, OBGYN appointment, stake mutual activity, and mutual New Year's Eve party - THERE IS NO NORMAL.

It's Been a Rough Year?

A very kind person mentioned that they saw my profile picture on FB. He/she innocently commented on how much younger I looked.

That picture was taken in April. As in: 2009.

On My Best Behavior (Sort Of)

Have you ever 'pocket-dialed' anyone?

I've made fun of pocket-dialers for years. Who is careless enough to accidentally call some random person in his/her contact list?

Years ago I had a co-worker who unknowingly pocket-dialed the girl he was currently dating, all the while talking about a former girlfriend. Girl-on-the-phone heard enough to know she never wanted to see him again.

David pocket-dialed a co-worker a couple of weeks ago while we were driving. We're pretty sure her voice mail got an earful.

I thought I was above this, as I am Miss Caution.

Not so much. Thursday afternoon I 'purse-dialed' my brother. When he called back later to bring this to my attention, I had a moment of panic - did he hear me yell at the kids while on our way to the orthodontist? No, we were just chatting. And who better to pocket dial than my brother - someone who loves me unconditionally AND is one of my best friends.

As I've thought about this (sort of) close-call, I've tried to be more aware of the things I say and do. I've tried to carry on each conversation with more patience and kindness, as if there were another in the room, listening and watching.

Because as we all know: there is.

While Visions of Sugarplums Dance in Their Heads

I hate those nights when - 5 minutes after the kids are asleep - I am filled with regret. I wish that I had hugged a little tighter. Listened a little closer... and had been WAY more patient.

The Resistance

A round of applause please as I take my bow. Minutes ago, right here in my home, I held the bowl of chocolate, complete with M&Ms, Whoppers and more - I stared in to that bowl full of yumminess - but took nothing out. I placed that dish of temptation back on the highest shelf of my pantry and walked away.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

No encore today.

Organize Yourselves

Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing, and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God.

This is running through my mind... over and over again.

Right now I do not have a house of order. I have a house of transition, a house of purging: a lot of old going out - and A LOT of new coming in.

These last couple of days I've finally had David's help to put one foot in front of the other to organize ourselves. My house might someday be returned to order.

Do I dare list what it is going to take to accomplish this goal? No. But I am confidant that if we continue to be a house of prayer, and a house of faith that we will again be a house of order.

(and then I won't cringe with embarassment everytime the doorbell rings)

Don't Give Up On Me

I'm working on my commitment issues. For some reason I'm having trouble getting beyond one or two sentences that I can quickly pound out on FB. I'm working on it. I've committed to Just Jess therapy. We'll see if we can get some results.

Retakes?

I stopped to look back at our family pictures from the beginning of this year.

SO much has changed. Isaac has braces, Maddie has bangs...

Oh, and let's not forget that those pictures are missing our little surprise.

Pry Open Your Wallets

What would bring the writers here at Just Jess out of hiatus? What would break the silence?

The Jon and Kate drama?

The Michael Jackson scandal?

The oh-so-annoying Obama-white cop-black professor saga?

Nope.

Fees. Junior High fees.

Back in California, we went to school. That's it. We just showed up.

Here in Utah? Parent just about have to take a 2nd mortgage.

I finally tracked down Maddie's 7th grade schedule today (it was sent to our old house, where we haven't lived in well over a year). Friends had mentioned the fees, but today I got the cold, hard truth.

For a state that is so family-oriented, Utah is the worst about school funding. Don't believe me? Look.

Surprisingly, I am (mostly) pleased with the schools. Somehow the teachers and administrators, maybe we should just call them volunteers considering their salaries, manage to pull off a pretty amazing learning environment.

So maybe I shouldn't bark anymore about the locker fee, library fee, activity fee, computer lab fee, PE fee, science lab fee, business lab fee, health fee, and tech lab fee that TOTAL $80.

Mind you, this doesn't include the yearbook fee or the PE uniform fee. Or any extra-curricular activites like cheerleading.

So much for back-to-school shopping. (Yeah, right. Like we can get out of that one.)

Stay Tuned

I think we're just about ready to come out of hiatus.

Just waiting for the staff to return.

"Thank You" Doesn't Even Come Close

Where do I start?

How about the fact that at this moment she (instead of me) is standing in line with Jill and our kids for the midnight showing of Harry Potter?

For the last month (yes, one month to the day) my Mom has been patiently pampering me and making life not just bearable, but even fun.

She has cleaned up all of my messes.

She has let me fuss and complain.

She supplied me with tons of spearamint gum to settle my tummy.

If I felt good, we were out on the town. If not, she kindly sat beside me and kept me company while I felt sorry for myself.

As I head back to reality and back to being the mom, I am sad that I can't take her with me.

Thanks, Mom. I love you.

Guess Who's in Utah!

There's a Snake in My Boot

There are MANY things that I'm NOT looking forward to 'doing over'. But Number Five (that's what Maddie and David ARE CALLING him/her) have me thinking about all the fabulous parental opportunities that are coming my way. Again. Diapers. Potty Training. Sigh.

However, with Toy Story 3 coming out this time next year, the baby will be almost the exact same age Isaac was when #2 came out. I am so excited to go through the Toy Story phase with another child. Maybe I'll be able to free all of our friends from the box, high on a shelf in Isaac's closet where they have been so carefully protected.

It will be nice to have them around the house again.

Here Kitty Kitty

This might help with some of our unanswered questions:

Video Courtesy of KSL.com

Not Breaking News

In must be a slow news day. When (bored out of my mind) I checked entertainment news at msn.com there was a story about the SJ Parkers not splitting up.

The story was posted on January 26.

Umm, hi. It's June.

Heavy Hearts

In our circle of girlfriends, we lost our first parent this week.

Up until now we've grieved for each other's grandparents. I guess we've entered a new era. The next phase in life. But is anyone ever ready for it?

Once again, I wonder why I'm 600 miles away. And I hope my love is making its way through the Nevada desert and over the Sierras to the Veare family.

Through the magic of FaceBook, a long, lost friend - or mom of a friend contacted Jill this week and mentioned the passing of one of her kids. We did a little digging... it's weird to mourn for someone from so long ago:

Victim is identified in motorcycle crash

Published on July 19, 2005

A man who died Saturday after losing control of his motorcycle at an estimated 90 mph has been identified as Justin Murray Young, 23. The California Highway Patrol said Young, a Meadow Vista resident, was traveling north on Placer Hills Road shortly before 7 p.m. when he failed to negotiate a curve. The 2005 Suzuki hit an 8-inch curb, which sent the victim through the air and into a tree, the CHP said. Young was pronounced dead at the scene, the agency said.

Retraction Please

The staff here at Just Jess would like to apologize for calling the jewelry store lady "stupid".

She was not.

But her co-worker might be.

David's ring is here. Here now, not September 5 as previously mentioned.

Clean Up in Aisle 9

I went to the grocery store today.

Why does that deserve blogging recognition?

In the last few weeks any and all shopping has been painful and kept to a minimum. The food on the shelves mocked me, taunted me, all the while tried to get me to puke right there on the shiny, cement floor. I couldn't get out of there fast enough.

But TODAY I marched in to our new store feeling better than I have all week, confident that I could conquer all.

Let me tell you, it faded quickly.

I was fine in the 'dry' areas. Cleaning supplies, canned foods, etc.

But once I moved in to dairy and juice it immediately went downhill.

I plugged along, but when I was about 2/3 done, the store's sound system went through an automated alarm; high-pitched beeping followed by a robotic voice telling us all something about a fire being reported and while it's being investigated, please move to the nearest exit.

It was just after 9am, so there were just a few other shoppers. We kind of looked at each other, waiting for someone to make the first move towards an exit. No one did.

I continued to shop and NO ONE was going deter me.

Too much effort had gone in to filling my basket. I knew I didn't have it in me to go back and 'redo'.

I chose to burn with my groceries.

Fortunately, my courage wasn't truly put to the test, and the alarm was soon cancelled.

I finished up in the meats and then produce, managing to stay in the store long enough to drop $160.

And now if you'll excuse me, the day's events have thoroughly exhausted me. That and the on-going sleeping pills.

It's naptime.

These Dreams Go On When I Close My Eyes

Oh, the weirdness this pregnancy brings to my already bizarre dreams.

I'm afraid that I am going to have to post about it so that I can process and move on. And if nothing else, maybe this silly post will give my friend, Chelsea, a chuckle and a little break from boredom as she sits (post-op) in the hospital.

Last night I dreamt that (sigh) my mom (bigger sigh) had a baby.

AND it was NO BIG DEAL to her or my dad.

In fact, she was able to deliver this baby at home without a C-section or an epidural.

This baby was a boy, and by day-2 he could walk. What are we, horses?

I was trying to contact Meredith Vierra to see if 34 years was the biggest span between a mother's oldest and youngest children. (really, it would have been Anne Curry or Natalie Morales)

Naming the baby was a big challenge. Mom wanted to name the baby Legend, and we'd call him Ledge for short - which of all of the suggestions, I was most on board with. I must have thought it was some sort of tribute do our dearly departed Heath.

My dad, on the other hand, who is not a Sylvester Stallone fan at all, wanted to name the baby (gasp!) Rambo.

Sharing the News

Kids, come sit down. Mom and Dad need to talk to you.

I don't feel like it. I don't want to.

Mom is pregnant.

(Maddie clearly processed the news faster than Isaac)

Ring Not So Rosy

Hey stupid lady at the jewelry store...

Maybe you should have told me when I bought David's new wedding ring that it would take 90 days to come in after he came in to get it sized.

Then, instead of waiting nearly a month to surprise him with it, I would have given it to him immediately - getting the ball rolling.

Duh!

But Who's Judging?

John: you need to go back to your 9am-5pm job.

Kate: back away from the Hollywood mumb-jumbo, and stay home with your kids.

I know, I know: I'm about 6 months too late.

Where Did I Come From?

Back on the Fence

Oh dear... it's going to be a lengthy post. And not on the topic that some of you may be expecting.

(expecting)

This year Isaac was blessed with a wonderful teacher. This fabulous woman has raised her kids, gone back to school, and this year was her first as a teacher.

We love her. L-O-V-E. Love.

Drama. Many of us parents unknowingly referred her to parents of upcoming 4th graders and raved about her on her end-of-year review. In a twist of fate, this praise was a detriment to our beloved teacher and cost her her position because the principal interpretted this love and support from the parents as her campaigning for her contract to be renewed.

Not the case!

Parents united, and shared stories about the difference she has made on their child's lives. (I'm not sure of the full extent, but I think it got ugly... parents storming the principal's office and the district office and board meetings.)

Sigh. In the meantime, Isaac did get accepted to the accelerated program, which has caused us quite a bit of grief: it requires another change of schools for Isaac.

He doesn't want to do it. We tried to let him make the decision, but then had to make it for him. We even attended the big meeting and made the commitment to attend the accelerated program next year. Much to Isaac's frustration.

Big News. After mucho, mucho drama, our sweet teacher has been offered a 5th grade teaching position at our school.

Now What? Do we stick with the new program at the new school, which comes with it's own fabulous teacher?

Or do I let Isaac stay at our school, so we can have Round 2 with a teacher that we all adore?

I'm sure that I don't have to tell you his vote.

My vote? Help me decide.

The Fat

I couldn't resist.

After a long absence from our lives, I made bacon this morning.

I found a package buried in the freezer, thawed it, and threw it on the George Foreman.

Just about this time, Maddie's head popped up from the couch like a meercat in the desert.

"I smell bacon."

I nodded and then, with me in total agreement she said "it smells like Grandma K.'s".

Oh, it does.

Is it sad that some of my favorite memories start with bacon?

Family campouts, family breakfast, family spending the weekend at Grandma and Grampa's.

Does that mean that bacon equals family?

After my bacon sizzled on the George Foreman, I put it in a very hot pan to finish crisping up, leaving behind just the perfect amount of bacon grease. After I removed the crispy bacon, Maddie watched me crack the eggs and was thoroughly grossed out that I dropped the raw eggs in to the hot bacon grease.

Amused, I went in to an explanation about how we live in a different time, and that women used to carefully save their bacon grease to use it for later, and I even remember my own health-conscious mom sometimes having a jar in the fridge to flavor green beans.

You know that the episode of Raymond was in the back of my mind the whole time... the one where Marie is still upset with Frank for throwing out the fat.

Maddie, Isaac and I sat down to our yummy breakfast and it wasn't before long that Maddie said "you're right, it does make the eggs better".

I'm Not Their Favorite Customer

I caused a bit of commotion yesterday.

(smirk)

I had to stop by a jewelry store and immediately the saleswoman offered to have her jeweler clean my wedding ring. (it must have been disgusting)

Several minutes later, and just as I was leaving, one of the other employees handed me a ring.

I said "that's not my ring" and turned around to look at more jewelry, leaving 4-5 other employees to have a group panic attack behind my back.

They pulled themselves together and (after re-checking) my saleswoman assured me that it was my ring.

The first time the ring was handed to me, a tissue was wrapped around it, and it appeared to only have one band, mine has two. Not to mention my ring was actually clean. Who would have thought it could make that much difference?

I'm not sure how many times I apologized, but it wasn't long before I was on my way with the proper ring on my finger.

You've Got to Be Kidding Me

I needed one stamp.  One lousy little stamp.

(You don't know this, but I hate mail.  In every way, shape and form.  Including stamps.  One more thing to keep track of.)

So I bought a book of stamps today, something I do about once a year.

Yup, you know it: 

I purchased an entire book and the cost of postage is going up two cents.

On Monday.

Life Is Like a Box of Pasta

Please pardon the obscene amount of Word Barfing tonight.

(someone is feeling a little bottled up)

After having a pretty crummy Wednesday, I needed some 'therapy', and what better way (after consuming a ton of chocolate) than to break in the new Ravioli Cutter.

Even taking it out of the box was theraputic - can you say bubble wrap?

Without a lot of time, and without the family recipe, I just threw together some ingredients for the filling: hamburger, sausage, sage, spinach, and some salt and pepper.

My first batch of ravioli turned out pretty well. Not near as spinach-y as our regular ones, but it passed The Test. The whole family ate them. Even Isaac.

Over on the terminally ill computer is a list that I've compiled of other ravioli recipes that I'm anxious to try. In my Forest Gump voice: Mushroom ravioli, shrimp ravioli, butternut squash ravioli...

Stay tuned!

Technical Difficulties

My Dearest Melissa,

I'm thrilled to inform you that the blogging world is again ready to embrace you and welcome you back to the family.

As my brother's sweet wife, please understand that all of the efforts of the Technical Team here at Just Jess spent countless hours trying to correct this unthinkable error.

Pleases accept our apologies.

Sincerely,

Jess

CEO, Just Jess Inc.

"Dumping Memory"

Warning: Venting Post

Where do I begin?

Do I continue the pity party?

Or do I put on a brave face.

I'm sad about my computer and tonight I'm coming to you via David's laptop.

The old one is in pretty bad shape. It's like an Alheimer's patient that has a moment or two of good. Normal.

Then it goes blank.

I'm really not in the mood to spend money on a new computer. I've done so much spending in recent weeks, what's a couple of more bucks?

But I keep picturing myself home. The kids at school. David and Sam at work. And then there's me, with my life line cut off.

What if I need to look up a phone number or an address? How am I going to keep up with current events?

Sure, you could shrink my head and find that I'm probably displacing other frustrations and life stressors on this computer issue.

But I really like to be connected.

Yup.

It all goes back to co-dependency.

Tuesday Roundup

I'm just settling in for tonight's recorded A.I.

And I have to say: I have high hopes.

Pity Party

Sure, the economy is crumbling and there is sadness everywhere.

Me? I'm childish and pouty because we got word today that the lot next door has sold and a home is going to be built inches away.

Our property line comes right up to our driveway, so really, it could be inches.

David and I discussed the possibility of buying the lot for ourselves, giving us extra elbow room. But there is too much 'unknown' in our future, so we didn't.

We were told that construction could begin as soon as 48 hours from today.

Grrr-eat.

That means noise.

Dangerous equipment.

And strange men.

Lucky me!

Rounding Up Monday Night

I can't go to bed.

Our subdivision has been without water all day for a scheduled upgrade. I think I braved it pretty well, but it's now 36 minutes late coming back on and I'm losing my mind.

Even though we had deli sandwiches for dinner, we still managed to make a big mess of the kitchen and I can't go to bed until it's all clean and tidy.

Still no water.

Thank goodness for my show: The Big Bang Theory. It helped me to hang on these last few water-less minutes, and also delivered a new favorite line - "If you really want to clean up your karma, go get my freakin' latte."

I love those nerds!

In other Monday night news, Maddie told me about a project tonight. It's due tomorrow. So with an opening song followed by an opening prayer, we had Family Home Evening around the makings of the bottle rocket. It really was a family affair. The refreshment? Root beer was chugged, as the empty 2-litre bottle was needed for the project.

I could ramble on, but I'm hopeful that I'll be able to take care of the KP duties and head up to bed.

'night.

My Way and the Highway

Maddie rode her bike to school today.

There was no question in her mind. No doubt. No concern that she wouldn't be up to it.

(Even though her poor muscles were pretty stiff last night. And this morning.)

It's amazing though. She didn't feel well enough for me to blow dry her hair. Standing still in my bathroom was just too much for her body to handle.

Ummm... "then I guess you're not up to riding your bike today."

She soon pedaled off with freshly dried hair.

Speaking of Polls

I would like to get my carpets cleaned.

Last year when I did it, the cleaners charged me about $220.

I can go out and buy a good carpet cleaner for $180 (after my discount).

Is it worth having the professionals come out and do it for $250+ every year? Or should I just go out and buy my own machine and do it myself?

More Cell Phone Driving Dangers

I finally let Maddie ride her bike to school today.

On the way home? She wrecked.

She was putting her cell phone in her pocket, causing The Accident.

She ended up with a big scrape on the side of her knee (that's bruising), there's a tire mark on the back of her calf from her friend's bike. She even ended up with a big scrape on her chest. Another friend's dad stopped and made sure her finger wasn't broken.

She says she didn't cry. She can be so tough and brave. Sometimes.

Let's take a poll: do you think she'll want to ride her bike again tomorrow? Or will she be content with me driving her?

Ev-er-y Time

Every single time I drop Maddie off for the Tuesday night activity I am amazed.

Amazed that I'm this stinkin' old!

I can't believe that I have a girl in YW!

It wasn't THAT long ago that I was running around the building on a Tuesday or Wednesday night with Becka and Jody and Becky. Sometimes Patrick H. and Allen W. Oh, don't forget the White Twins and David C.

But wait! It was that long ago! Try 20+ years!

Maybe I should go pluck some gray hairs or put on my girdle.

You'd Think We Were Italian

I. Am. Giddy.

What started as one of my wacky cravings (nope, not pregnant) has turned into an impulse purchase.

But let me back up.

I think I've mentioned before, one of our many family traditions is to make ravioli from scratch. We even served them at my wedding - without Jody's fingernail. We had ravioli at Jaye's wedding too.

About 30 years ago, my great-grampa Johnson built a ravioli cutter out of wood. (boy do I miss the sounds and smells of him working in his garage)

That cutter is now a family treasure. (the only treasure this family has)

It's been a long time since we gathered together to make raviolis.

Too long.

I hope the wait is over.

Presenting: My impulse purchase and a junior to my grampa Johnson's work of art - my own ravioli cutter!

She Knows What Makes a Greaty Party

Last weekend I got to sit around for some (cherished, infrequent, casual, relaxing) conversation with the family.

Jaye mentioned that the baby shower she had attended that morning was really nice.

"Ohhhh..." Maddie said nodding. "It had a chocolate fountain."

Thursday Night Sofa

The house is quiet.

Finally.

It's my Thursday night.

Finally.

It started several years ago - probably around the time Must See TV was born.

But lately it's been few and far between.

Thursday night. My way of celebrating and rewarding myself for surviving the week.

I stay up way past my normal bedtime and soak up all that smutty TV has to offer. In the early days (and back before DVR) it was F*R*I*E*N*D*S and ER. A few years back I graduated to Grey's and now Private Practice.

Not long ago, David invited me to watch Grey's in our room while he slept. That was one of the most romantic things he's ever done.

I'm headed back to the couch, my trusty old friend, to finish one show, and will maybe dive in to another.

Nothing ruins Thursday nights like a rerun - and May is just around the corner. All of the suspense and drama will wrap up with a season finale, then keep me on the edge of my seat until mid-September. But I'm going to live in the moment, going to get comfy, and watch Izzy spew chemo all over Meredith's wedding dresses.

Cheers

(smirk - Cheers - another Thursday night contributor)

Disneyland Spring Break Vacation Tip #3

"No matter how late at night, no matter the weather, no matter how badly your feet are hurting - after a long day at Disneyland, take your children back to the hotel for a dip in the pool."

Do you think that Maddie will remember that I rode California Screamin' with her?

Do you think that Isaac will remember that the whole family sat around for 40+ minutes waiting for him to become a Jedi?

I'll tell you what they will remember - we didn't go swimming at the hotel.

Disneyland Spring Break Vacation Tip #2

"Do NOT attend Disneyland during spring break. Apparently this when the RPC gathers."

R.P.C. - Rude People Conference (or Convention if you'd rather)

As if maneuvering shoulder-to-shoulder through a crowded park wasn't bad enough, a majority of them were SO Rude.

Example: our family was approaching a little table in California Adventure to sit and enjoy sundaes, but as I was reaching (literally) to pull out a chair to sit down, a woman and her daughter elbowed their way in front of us and sat in our seats.

I'm only sightly embarrassed to say that I didn't keep my mouth shut as I walked away.

Word to the R.P.C: YOURS is NOT the only family in the park!

PS As always, all park employees were polite and curteous.

Disneyland Spring Break Vacation Tip #1

"To avoid complete humiliation while purchasing hoodies on Main Street for the whole family: contact the bank about your travel plans before the trip. This will (hopefully) prevent them from putting a hold on your debit card."

Sure, I should appreciate their concern about a possible theft, but it seems that it would be more effective to call my cell phone (that they have on file) before blocking the card.

The 'helpful' man on the phone actually said something about a flag being raised about the spending because we don't live in Disneyland. Does anyone?

Okay, fine Smarty Pants. Does anyone live there besides Mickey, Minnie, Donald and Pluto?

Happy Easter

Welcome in the Spring Break!

This morning I was able to wake up after the sun rose.

Ahhhhhhhh...

One noticeable difference in waking up at a 'normal' hour: instead of my shampoo smelling like rotten fruit, it smelled like Trix cereal.

I'll See You in a Week, Little Man

Very early this morning baby Eli visited me in a dream. (yes, I know he's not a baby anymore, but when you're 600 miles away...)

He put his arm around me and said "I miss you".

Awwww...

Soggy Bottom Boy

Hmmm...

I listened to that prompting. I did.

I checked David's pockets before throwing that load of darks in to the washer.

So when he called looking for his wallet, I ummm... knew that it couldn't still be in the brown cords he wore yesterday.

Couldn't be.

Next time I need to listen to that prompting to the fullest. Guess what was buttoned into the back pocket.

I confirmed (via I.M.) that I had found his wallet.

Should I have told him that it's a little soggy?

Brown-y Locks?

If you've seen Isaac lately - no, I'm not starving him. The virus that turned my house upside-down last week really wiped out our boy.

Last night David was shoving homemade peanut butter cookies in Isaac's face, trying to get some meat back on his bones.

Our boy has been growing his hair out. At nearly 10 years old he's in to (gasp) The Trend.

When he is fresh out of the shower, it makes for an awesome little 'do, but he's a night time shower-er, so many mornings he goes off to school looking sort of... wild.

Last night I forced him in to a haircut. He thought he could be in charge and tell me "No".

Nice Try.

We tidied things up, keeping the length so that he can have 'wings'.

When David got home, he was disappointed to learn that I'd taken Isaac for a trim. (ok, at first I told him we buzzed it)

Don't you think it's weird that THE DAD is disappointed that THE SON is sporting a shorter 'do?

He's living vicariously through Isaac's freedom to be shaggy.

I get it now!

It goes back to when he (David!) had to shed his locks because of a fussy girlfriend (me) 15 years ago.

Just Wondering...

Are you feeling SO old knowing that little Ashley B. had a baby yesterday?

I remember the day she was born.

In detail...

Lynette and I were in 6th grade, and Ashley's birthday is in May, so the school year was winding down. I was sitting at my desk, which was near Mr. Skow's (hmmm...), when the news came in for Lynette, letting her know that her mom had just delivered a baby girl.

Hottie McHotterson

The online critics are taking jabs at the 'do' and the dress.

Though I'm NOT a country music fan, Kelly is gorgeous and would look hot wearing even an old dish towel.

But, ummm... Kell - I think one 'friend' is higher than the other.

Say Cheese!

I can't lie. I'm so proud that I got a little choked up.

Happy Birthday, Jaye!

I can't think of a better way to spend a birthday... tending to a post-op husband.

How about if we reschedule your birthday for April 17th?

After Much Resistance

I can't believe my eyes!

Not Feeling Like a Team Player Today

I feel like a chump.

A wimp.

A loser.

Today is Inventory.

In preparation David has worked, in the last week, more hours than I can count. Maybe 90?

And I can't remember when he last had a day off.

Last night, or this morning rather, he got home at 1:30 (yes, am) and was up at 4am and out the door by five.

Meanwhile, I called in for a substitute because Maddie has had a fever. I was supposed to work a whopping 12 hours this week and with one click of my mouse I reduced it by 50%.

And here I sit in my pink sweats. My glorious but hideous pink sweats.

Just Wanted You To...

stop and hold your loved ones a little closer.

Short But Sweet

Did you see my mom this weekend?

No?

Bummer.

I did!

Fridays With Ernie 5

But It's Chicken!

I love these Eat-This-Not-That articles. No, I haven't gone out and bought the books, but Holy Cow! Nothing is safe!

Typo

I know that we get some weird weather here, but Sunday?

Welcome to Our Show

Facing a couple of 'Life Stresses', JP and I cooked up today's version of:

Would You Rather?

(game show music please)

(now my best Burt Convey voice)

Would you rather have Car Trouble or a Colonoscopy?

The Obsession

Currently, there is not a whole lot that annoys me more than this craze.

I refuse to get on board.

Friday night David and I made an unplanned late-night shopping trip.

And in his usual fashion, David wanted to avoid people, so we drove to a brand-new store that's about 15 miles from here, maybe further.

Some genius decided to build this fancy-shmancy new store across the street from a high school.

A high school!

1.) It's late on a Friday night

2.) As mentioned it's across the street from a high school.

3.) Judging from the parking lot, there was a dance going on.

4.) And all of you Twilight obsessors know - the first movie was coming out at midnight.

In other words - the aisles were filled with annoying teenagers.

Do I find all teenagers annoying? NO! (and I work with some real winners)

My sympathy goes out to the management of this store.

Chaos!

Mayhem!

There were even moms wandering around with the teenagers, all of them with the stupid plastic fangs in their mouths.

The magazine aisle was crowded with a circle of girls sitting Indian-style (oops - not PC) criss-cross-applesauce with magazines in their laps.

There was an almost constant sound of things crashing to the floor.

I couldn't get out of there fast enough.

But we did - and there were more teenagers in the parking lot.

I'm torn between suggesting that you do check out this store because it's so nice OR telling you to run for your life.

Either way - avoid it at noon. It's an open campus.

PS Yes, I'm well aware that I just alienated ALL of my friends. You vampire-obsessed weirdos.

Writer's Block Much?

There's far too much swimming in my head.

Too much sickness, busy-ness, birthday madness, Beehive happiness, husband inventory-ness. Too much trying to escape my mind through my finger tips.

Okay. You Asked for it.

No. You're too good of a friend. I won't list it all.

But I will take this opportunity to gently, gently tell Megan that I wish she could have joined Jehn and I for our

date with Elisabeth on Thursday.

Megan! Megan! Megan!

I am so excited!!!

But let me back up.

My ambitious friend, Megan, is juggling three blogs, one being a recipe blog that links to other recipe/cooking blogs.

(Did you know that I like to cook?)

Today I was snooping around and found a recipe that I had to rush home and make. It involved some unusual ingredients - healthy ingredients - and natural sweeteners (but today I substituted honey - still natural).

Now - I'm going to link you to this recipe. But I want you to remain open minded.

Promise?

Because I raced home and made it and It. Is. Good.

I'm very happy with it.

Ready?

Still open minded?

Take

A

Look

What do you think?

Two words: Try it.

Well done, Megan!

Fridays With Ernie 4

I'll have to stop and get mushy about Maddie later.

Until then...

"I'm Gonna Pop Youuu!"

Lately I've been doing some thinking.

(A dangerous pastime... I know)

What if YouTube had been around when we were kids?

Can you see it...? Our backyard plays with Derrick and Ryan - for the whole world to see. Ohhh. And the laughs we would have given them.

Maudanne, Charles, Pauline and Sleepy would have been household names.

Ummmm... Those are not fictional characters. Real people. Real drama.

Big Heavy Sigh

Let's make getting-in-shape even harder for Jess...

Cholesterol-Lowering Diet Plans

The American Heart Association recommends a step-wise approach to lowering cholesterol levels.

The Step I Diet

If you have high blood cholesterol and have not tried other dietary approaches, the Step I diet is the place to start:

• Total fat intake should be no more than 30% of calories.

• Saturated fat (the kind that is solid at room temperature) intake should be less than 10% of calories.

• Polyunsaturated fat (liquid at room and refrigerator temperatures) intake should be 8% to 10% of calories.

• Monounsaturated fat (olive and canola oil) intake should make up the rest of total fat intake (about 10% to 15% of total calories).

• Cholesterol intake should be less than 300 milligrams daily.

• Sodium intake should be no more than 2,400 milligrams daily.

So... I can't eat until I get out my calculator and compute every little morsel that goes in to my mouth. I have to start the math during the last meal to be prepared for the next.

Ohh - and I have to have big results by June.

More Pampering

I wanted to do something today.

Something for me.

Something I love to do, but have never done it alone.

But I felt... weird.

I could go on all day, getting dirtier and dirtier...

A Pedicure! I'm talking about a pedicure.

I couldn't bring myself to going in and getting a pedicure without a buddy. In the past I've gone with my mom, Maddie, or my girlfriends Nettie and Mary (separately).

I am so in need! I gave Maddie a pedicure on Sunday (yes, I was that bored). As always, it turned out beautifully. Of course it helps that she got Jaye's cute feet.

But I skipped my own, and probably should have scrunched in to that awkward toe-reaching position and just trimmed and painted myself.

Nope. It's settled. I'm not doing it.

Besides, I need those talented girls to paint on some cute sunflowers to get me through this recent blanket of snow. Ugh.

Monday Outing

Ohhhhhhhh... the joy of working for the school district and having the same days off as the kids.

Let's take a moment to sigh a happy sigh.

I highly recommend taking your family to

Like us, you probably have his book in your collection.

The Exhibit is long enough that you feel like it was worth the drive, but not so long that you want to blow your brains out after trying to keep your kids corralled.

(is it just me or do Maddie and Isaac share a face?)

I took this opportunity to take a short walk around campus, hoping to inspire the kids and get them excited about their future college days.

Then we were able to track down dad for a yummy lunch at

It may be the last time we see him until April. Have I mentioned that this month is inventory?

Ugh.

Could Somebody Pass Me a Water Bottle?

And since we're already tear-y, I'll just quietly mention that today was Maddie's last in Primary.

With all of her "firsts" in 2009, I'm going to be dehydrated.

SpiderMan Returns

Playing his Welcome (back) song in Primary would have been a lot easier without tears.

Not a Great Way to Kick Off the Weekend

Nothing could make me more hungry than the doctor telling me that I have to go on a diet.

And no, I am not taking The Challenge.

Staring At the Walls

It turns out that there is a fine line between...

I love being home, being in my house, in my space, I hope nothing calls me away, relaxing

to

The walls are closing in on me, I need to find some girl friends to go out with tonight.

Less Than 7 Degrees of Separation

Just putting a couple of my favorite shows together...

Did you know that she

used to be married to his brother?

PS I haven't watched any of her movies, but it appears that she's not always Cute Little Pam.

Fridays With Ernie 3

Small Scale Pampering

I'm really not as caught up in my looks as my recent posts indicate.

But here I go again.

I'm really hard on my hair. (sorry Stacey)

I wash, blow dry, and flat iron my hair every day. So when it's been 4 to 5 weeks since my last appointment, it's a bit dry. Really dry.

This morning I treated my locks to a deep conditioning.

Why is this post-worthy?

Because it was a pick-me-up for my whole self, not just my hair.

I feel better.

And I think I'll survive until the next time I sit in my Miracle Worker's chair.

Is it a Hollywood Secret?

Are you all enjoying his new show?

It's fun to have him back on TV. Who am I kidding? I still watch reruns of his last show.

Now... I know that so much of our hair, skin, weight (etc.) is genetic. Clearly, this guy has great jeans. I mean genes.

He is 45 years old and has skin to die for.

My question is this: is it his lucky gene pool that gives him such a beautiful complexion? Or is it some miracle product?

If you find that it is something topical (not an injection) that gives him those irresistible cheeks, please drop me a note. I'd be willing to pay top dollar for that stuff.

"Stand By For News"

My heart hurts.

I adore this man and used to (back in the old days) arrange my commute around his broadcast schedule.

I remember sitting in the driveway with the car running on countless evenings and after a long day at work, not able to tear myself away until I had heard The Rest of the Story.

Has there ever been a voice so comforting and trusted?

Just Watch

Ummmmmmmm... I can't even... Some people - ewww.

Maybe You Can Help Me Out With This

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why did I wake up with this song stuck in my head?

Someone Else Will Get the Bargain

Ugh!

Sigh!

I'm pretty fussy about NOT paying full price.

But last Thursday I splurged.

Ugh again!

What was $19.95 just 8 days ago - is NOW only$10 online!

I'll just really try to remember that on that same shopping trip I was able to use a 30% off coupon on a different item.

More sighing!

Fridays With Ernie 2

Dedicated to David

Welcome Home, Soldier

Almost Friends

I've been hating on this guy for quite a while.

What does he have to offer my friend, Jenn?

But I'm warming up to him.

She let him tag along to the Oscars Sunday night. Maybe she needed a little moral support. Nope. That big showdown with the X and his baby-momma was just built up by the media.

Just another day for Jenn.

Maybe John and I might be able to begin on a path to friendship after all. You know a little humor at one's own expense goes a long way with me...

Is it Just me?

Today I tried to splurge.

But I couldn't.

I could not bring myself to spending $15 (after my discount) on this.

So instead, I spent $3 and stuck with this.

Am I the only one still using store brands?

Oscar is No Grouch

Did you watch last night?

I did. And I was pleasantly surprised.

(until the end when I wanted to throw a tomato at the 'leading actor')

Other than that - Fabulous.

My favorite?

She is breath taking, wore a gorgeous gown (though Maddie thought it looked mummy-ish), and her necklace - I loved it!

She is the one and only reason I might get around to seeing her movie.

Heart Warmers

I think Megan and I are on the same page: Sappy but Sweet.

Grab Your Tissue

Stage Mom

Am I being weird?

The answer to that question is always "yes".

Isaac is beginning the beautiful Rite of Passage in life called: braces.

On this path his next step is to get the appliances put in. It's quite the ordeal, and he will have to re-learn eating, swallowing and talking. It's pretty miserable.

It makes such a mess of their speaking abilities that when Maddie was adjusting to having her appliance a couple of years ago, I think my brother's words were "take her back and get that $#!& out of her mouth".

We've applied to get Isaac into an accelerated program in the school district, and he has an interview for it next Saturday.

Can you imagine him sitting down with these people just a few days after getting the appliances? After hearing him 'talk' and seeing me wiping drool from his face, they might wonder about our intentions.

So I postponed the appliance installation appointment.

Please tell me you would have done the same.

PS It is so NOT a big deal if he does or doesn't get in to this program.

Please Just Draw Me a Picture

I almost blew it.

Sigh

Isaac kept coming home from Scouts telling me that he's almost done; that he's almost earned his Bear.

And I kept arguing - no, we've got a long way to go.

Finally his wonderful Den leader helped me to see the light.

I'm so dumb!

You don't have to earn all 24 achievements - just 12.

I get so caught up trying to manage everything and everyone that I don't stop and read the fine print.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

You Have the Right to Remain...Silent

This is my kind of girl.

"I'm Sorry You Couldn't Make It Here Tonight"

What do you make of all of this?

Is he for real?

Is he going to follow in brother's footsteps?

What is this? A stunt? A movie promotion?

I Would Name It: Fred

Or George.

There's a little girl inside of me that really wants to do this. Heck - let's get 2.

What Would You Do If...?

Seriously - I need your input.

Timing is everything. The kids and I just happened to go out to the driveway as some neighborhood kids were helping themselves to our basketball hoop. It's been on it's side during the winter, but they had it up-right and were trying to roll it to their house.

They gave me some lame line about "our mom said her friend said we could have it".

There is the slight possibility that their story is true.

I'll try to give them the benefit of the doubt.

I had them roll it back to it's resting spot, but I highly doubt that they set it down gently and am now concerned that it's broken.

If this was your basketball hoop, which was pretty expensive, would you approach the mom?

What if it's broken? Would you approach the mom?

The mom isn't one of my 'girlfriends', but she is someone that I see very regularly.

I guess I could say "by the way, did your boys ever find the right basketball hoop?" and leave it open to the possibility that their story was legitimate.

Or should I say anything at all?

I hate it when other people put me in this kind of situation.

You know the kind:

Confrontation vs. I'm a Pansy.

Maddie-Isms

It's been a while since we've had a good Maddie-ism around here. But tonight I bring you a two-fer.

1.) Maddie and I were laying in my bed tonight watching Cops. A 'bad guy' was being pursued by an officer, who was giving the particulars of the suspect's car, location, and direction he was traveling over the radio.

"Don't we have a Southbound here in Utah?"

2.) Maddie was telling me about an episode of The Brady Bunch, and she couldn't think of Alice's name.

"What's the name of their governess?"

Fridays With Ernie

Don't confuse it with Tuesday's with on old guy.

Catty Moment

Botox much?

Happy Friday!

I was so excited this morning when I watched last night's episode of The Tonight Show. Jay interviewed Jenny!

For me that's like eating brownies at the ocean!

No Thanks

I did something childish today.

I hope Karma wasn't looking.

Background: Just about 2 years ago, Jehn and I got our eyebrows done. The Girl did a horrible job. Jehn and I both looked like we'd been in a fight, with big scabs above our eyes because The Girl went over the same spots with wax (and of course, ripped it off) multiple time. It was ugly.

So today I went back to the same establishment because there are other girls there who do a great job on eyebrows. But I wouldn't go so far as to call the aestheticians. I put my name on the list and waited.

The Girl came to the front to get me. Instead of politely lying my way out of it, I turned around and walked out.

Gasp!

Rude! I know!

But I don't feel bad.

I drove to another salon and came out scab-free.

But my car did bottom out in their driveway.

Is that my Karma?

The Shopper's Winnebago

There is something I don't understand.

Maybe it's because I'm lazy. Maybe it's because I have a bum-shoulder. You tell me...

Why do people at the grocery store choose to carry their heavy wares in those little baskets with handles? What's wrong with just pushing a basket?

Is it the mini van of the shopping world?

Something

I love that as parents we can influence our children and their music/movie preference. Of course, they may come to hate what we love, but so far so good.

This morning Isaac sang some old favorites with me...

Then later on both Isaac and Maddie watched (for the nth time) one of David's old favorites.