Not on Sundays

Apparently my children have been to a few too many funerals. Yesterday our chapel had big, beautiful, dark red poinsettias in front of the pulpit. There were several plants lined up, it looked very nice and very festive. During Sacrament meeting poor Maddie leaned over and asked “is there a coffin up there?”

Let the Shakes Begin!

In recent months I have been so, so careful about my food intake. Through trial and error over the last several years, I have figured out that many foods drastically affect me physically and emotionally. I’ve been ‘on guard’, especially since my brief stint of taking Glucophag last August in attempt to control my blood sugar. I do my best to control it on my own, staying away from things like soda and cake and even mayonnaise (newly added to my long list of ‘can’t haves’, which tragically means no spinach dip). But like all human beings, the Christmas season can really weaken my will power. Today I have partaken of two different treats that are major no-no’s. Funny enough, one of my ‘indulges’ was simply out of politeness. I can literally feel my muscles shutting down (not that I am buff or anything) and I am feeling lethargic. With the usual Christmas-season activities that start as early as tomorrow, I must be strong. I must dig deep so that I can resist the gingerbread man with chocolate pants and frosting eyeballs. I have to turn the other way when the chocolate-peanut butter roll calls my name. But let me tell you, I all but ran from the slices of fruit cake included on the dessert tray up in the Admin. Department here at work. Really? Fruit cake? It’s not 1950!

Murphy's Laws Revisted #1

The one rare day you are on time to work will be your boss's day off.

Smoky the Bear Has Disowned Me

I have shamed one of my childhood idols. Smokey the Bear would turn up his nose at me once he learned of last night’s fiasco. Enrichment started at 6:30, and I was at Siri’s practicing her solo (for the ward party) until 5:45, so dinner needed to be quick and simple. I put a pot of water on for Macaroni and Cheese and then David and I headed to the bedroom (not for lovin’) to work on something at the computer. Maddie came in and said that the cookies were burned. We told her that the remaining few bar cookies weren’t burnt, they just got a little dark around the edges, and that they would be okay. Then Isaac came in to let us know that it was smoky in the kitchen. It only took ½ a second to realize that I had turned on the wrong burner. Instead of heating up Mac-N-Cheese water, I had set fire to those last couple of bar cookies in my biggest Pyrex casserole dish. David got to the kitchen first, picked up the flaming pan with the help of a dish towel and headed for the sliding door in the dining room that leads out to the deck. Before he tossed the pan into the snow he hesitated, knowing that it would shatter in the icy conditions. It did just as he suspected and then he buried the embers in the snow. Our house was unbelievably smoky. We banished the kids to our room and David kept his face covered with a dish towel and we both gasped as we tried to air out our still-new house. With the outside temperature literally zero degrees, we had the sliding door open, the front door open, two front windows open, and the bathroom window open. My clothes and jacket were so stinky that when I walked into Enrichment (on time) an older woman said “something is burning” to which I replied, “no, it’s just me”. This morning I (reluctantly) lit some candles to help with the stinky smoke that was still lingering. I hope to find even more improvement when I get home after work tonight. Yes, I blew out the candles. PS When I dropped off the kids at school this morning it was a whopping -5 degrees.

I'm No Al Roker

(Written Monday, Posted Tuesday) Just how cold is it? I’m sorry that I have nominated myself weather girl and that you are unfortunately on the receiving end, but we’re talking extreme temperatures people. The other night Siri and I went to Costco and then back to her house so that our families could spend more time together. There wasn’t enough room in her fridge for our milk so we just set ours out on her porch for us to grab when we left. We played games and visited and then left a couple of hours later, giving our milk the opportunity to morph in to a block of ice. It still has not completely thawed, even though it has been two days and we have left it out on the counter for a few minutes here and there. Maddie left her gloves at school on Friday and then went sledding for a couple of hours that afternoon with bare hands. Friends, it could not have been more than 15 degrees. I ripped her a new one and she was not allowed to sled all weekend. Per my mom’s suggestion, tonight I will show her images of people with frostbite. Our street has a slight slope to it, and just beyond the intersection at the bottom where it comes to a ‘T’ there is a little drop-off. This morning I almost slid off of the drop-off, gently braking and then E-braking in effort to gain control. The kids were a little worried. Not unlike the worry they experienced yesterday. When we left church Thad and Siri were in the car behind us so David decided to goof off a bit. We went sideways and almost rolled and narrowly missed a pole. Dork. Our forecasted high tomorrow is 5 degrees. When I drop off the kids at school in the morning it will probably be around -3. I am having a little anxiety over this. Part of me thinks that I should call in sick to shelter my precious offspring from these extreme conditions. A note was sent home last week from the principal reminding parents that the kids will be sent out for recess, even when the temps dip below zero. While at lunch with David today I asked him if we are expected to get a break from this or is this IT for the next 6 months. I later checked on line and found that we will indeed be getting a break towards the end of this week. On Friday we are expecting to get up to 34 degrees. By the way, there are still two guys at work that show up in shorts every day. Breaking News: the forecast has been revised. Tomorrow’s high is 2 degrees with the overnight low -13 on Wednesday. Please come rescue me.

You Won't See This in California

This morning I had one of those experiences that made me feel like “now I’ve seen it all”. I was half-heartedly watching the news when a commercial caught my eye, and not because of the product being solicited. It must have been an ad for a local silversmith (or something of the likes); they were showing belt buckles and maybe even jewelry. A cowboy was shown herding cattle and it was then that I noticed that one of the cows in the upper-right of my TV screen was humping one of the other cows. You cannot tell me that the editors didn’t notice this. Look at what kind of crap they pull (and get away with) in Montana. What else can I expect from a state that puts on a Testicle Festival in the spring?

Four Glorious Days

Is there anything as wonderful as NOT being at work? This Thanksgiving, I am so, so, so thankful to not be at work. Don't get me wrong, work is fine. But not being there is finer. Being home these four days gives me the energy to do those little extras around the house. No worries, I'm not wasting my time cleaning, but doing the small stuff that I'm often just too tired to do. Like make my bed (ok, not so fun, but nice when it's done). Or having a house full of kids and making them caramel corn, coloring with them and playing primary with them; staying up late trying to beat T. & S. at Catch Phrase; and trying out new recipes. It's my goal to not leave the house (other than church and then choir) the whole weekend. I'm not being completely disgusting, I am putting on making and even a bra each of these days. Later today we will put up our tree. After more than a week of unusually warm and sunny weather, today has turned cold. The forecast calls for snow and highs reaching just 24 degrees in the coming days, as if opening the invisible gates to the Christmas season.

You've Got a Shop Around the Corner

As cheesy as it sounds, I've been a long time fan of the movie You've Got Mail. I think that Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks are a fabulous combination.

Like many movies that we love, You've Got Mail is not entirely original. It is based on a 1939 Jimmy Stewart-Margaret Sullivan movie; and this morning I finally got to watch The Shop Around the Corner. I've seen bits and pieces before, but today I got to see it in it's entirety.

It is completely adorable and I was very surprised at how many similarities there were between the two, especially because the second is based on technology not even yet imagined in the first.

Not many people are up before dawn on Sunday mornings like I usually am, but maybe we should all make a habit of it. That's when the good stuff is on cable (and I don't mean Hoochies Gone Wild).

PS Hmmm. Maybe there is a trend. I am also a fan of Notting Hill and it's predecessor Roman Holiday.

No Cranberries at Our Table

What are your Thanksgiving plans? You are more than welcome to come to our house.

Our plans have been greatly altered, but Thanksgiving has been a juggling act for the last 3 years. When your husband works retail, the Day-After-Sales have to be taken in to consideration. Traveling is pretty much out of the question.

We’ve decided to celebrate Thanksgiving at our house with S.S. (our daycare provider and good friend) and her family.

Last night S.S. and I sat down together in my living room (after our spaghetti dinner) and map out our Thanksgiving dinner. Our menu is pretty standard, and looks something like this:

Turkey

Steak (because David hates turkey)

Mashed potatoes

Stuffing

Gravy

Green slime

Rolls

Corn

Salad Pumpkin pie Apple pie.

I’ve never cooked a turkey, and my gravy experience is limited. Many phone calls will go back and forth with my mom as I take on this challenge, and my questions have already started with how to purchase the bird. I haven’t decided on my approach to the stuffing, but am leaning more towards ‘from scratch’ rather than Stove Top. Which just leads to more questions, like in the bird or not. I’m looking forward to our day. I am also looking forward to our ward dinner (set for this Saturday night), for which I have committed to make 5lbs mashed potatoes and enough salad and dressing for 40 people. I will miss my family very much and will constantly wonder what’s going on during their Thanksgiving celebration, but I hope they know that we’ll be okay. Whoever you are, wherever you are: Happy Thanksgiving. I hope you have a great one.

Weddings and Funerals

Due to the many life changes we experience, we often lose touch with those we care about. We may think of them daily, but for some reason time passes without a visit or phone call. Then comes the old cliche: we only see each other at weddings and funerals.

On Friday I was thrilled to see that I had received an email from my former boss, someone I adore but am on the verge of losing touch with. The thrill was short lived, as the email was to inform me of the death of a co-worker; a young man (just 23) who had died in a car accident at 1:30am on Friday. He was a single dad, working so hard to keep his life on track and to do everything possible for his 3-year-old son. His reason for being on the road in the middle of the night is still unknown.

My geography will keep me from attending the funeral and is the cause of this nagging feeling of helplessness. Not only did I work with the man who died, but I also worked with his father, and can't even begin to imagine the toll this tragedy has taken on him and his family.

This family doesn't appear to be religious, but is surrounded by people who are. I hope that they will be receptive to the support that is available to them.

Last Night I Had the Strangest Dream

I have dreamt very strange dreams all my life. Freak of nature strange. I think my mom used to wonder about me. Even in to adulthood I dream about very strange things; and people in the very distant past. There have been reoccurring dreams, often disturbing, but lately they have subsided. The house dreams, the teeth falling out dreams, and the “I can’t remember my locker combination” dreams (hello, I graduated high school over 13 years ago) have mysteriously ceased from haunting me. I seek out people who have studied dream interpretation. Why don’t I study it myself? Then I might find out how deeply disturbed I am. Last night’s dream was a first and I can’t seem to shake it. I dreamt that someone beat the crap out of me. No, not my husband. A stranger. But this guy pulverized my face. I kept having to tell my friends and acquaintances what happened, because it was visible that I had an accident or something. The stranger knocked out some of my teeth (which is strange because I haven’t had a ‘tooth’ dream in quite some time). I refused to look in the mirror or feel with my tongue to see how many teeth were missing. Why do I dream these things? I consider myself a fairly nice person without enemies. I don’t lead a life full of crime. I couldn’t me more boring. Am I worried about someone attacking me for the $2000+ worth of Girl Scout cookies that are cluttering my home? The person who clobbered me in my dream wasn’t trying to take anything from me. Maybe it’s time I studied the whole dream interpretation concept and get myself figured out.

When I'm In Town...

Since the purchase of the golden tickets that will provide us the opportunity to be with our family at Christmas, home is all I can think of. While I am there I hope to: 1.) visit the ocean. They don't have one of those in MT. 2.) visit the mall. I don't even have a Macy's here. 3.) visit the nearby Chevy's, Baja Fresh and Round Table. Often. 4.) Sisters, sisters, sisters. Okay, I only have 2 but I can't get enough of them. 5.) then there's the brothers. They're pretty great too. 6.) Grandma's house. Not a fancy house, but a magical place to be. 7.) may sound pathetic, but I can't wait to take mom on in a game of Scrabble. 8.) maybe this time I'll tag along when my dad takes my kids to the $1 store. With so much to look forward to I'd better prepare myself for the inevitable: coming back to MT.

So Long, Benny

While I sit here at work, on the edge of my seat, praying for a project (any work at all will do), I can't help but wonder if Maddie will ever forgive me. Benny the Big Black Lab no longer resides in my home. The kids and David said goodbye to her on Saturday. I drove her to the shelter we adopted her from. Our original plan was to tell the kids that she ran away. It wouldn't be too far from the truth. Just last Thursday night the kids and I had to drive around looking for her in the dark. Secretly I hoped that we wouldn't find her. While some of you might think I'm heartless, the list of destruction caused by Benny is long. We told the kids the truth and it broke Maddie's heart. Isaac was sad, but Maddie was devasted. She's had her share of cats come and go (run aways and even one hit by a car). But this was our first dog. Benny was long awaited and we were very excited to have her. Unfortunately she was more than we bargained for. Yesterday a friend told me that she never forgave her mom for getting rid of their biting dog. I hope that Maddie will forgive me and understand that I want the best for Benny. I guess I could have told her "kid - it's me or the dog".

When Good Pets Go Bad

She pulled down the insulation in my basement. She destroyed a perfectly good full-sized mattress. She ate one of my favorite sweaters. She shredded her 2 (expensive) doggy pillows. She knocks down any person who gets close enough. She is unbelievably strong. She chewed the posts on my deck. She has all but ruined my brand-new house. My shoulder will never be the same after trying to maintain control of her on a leash. I’m ready for her to not live at our house anymore. PS This is my 100th post. Whoopty-freakin'-do.

Never a Better Time to Roll Back the Clocks

Caution: the following was written during extreme exhaustion. A point to this post is not guaranteed and statements may not be clear.

I have been blessed with some wonderful friends here in MT. A couple of them are real treasures. Last night my favorite MT treasure, S.S. came over to watch a movie. The movie was over at 11:15pm, but we visited until 3:30am.

Now, this might not seem late to some of you, but friends, my inner-clock wakes me at 5:30 every day. No alarm clock exists in my room. My eyes just like to pop open at 5:30 EVERY day.

This morning my eyes thankfully remained shut until 7am, when Isaac SHOOK me awake. He had me by the shoulders and literally shook me awake in excitement because Madagascar is coming out on video Tuesday.

I did not strangle him. BUT since then he has been like the little dog on an invisible trampoline, and was 'refueled' when he then found out that on Tuesday, not only is Madagascar coming out, but so is Revenge of the Syth.

I am painfully tired. My face hurts from the exhaustion. To rub my nose in exhaustion, David (who was up just as late as I), is still asleep. Would you wake him if you were me?

So now the inevitable guilt that a mom always has set in. I barked at Isaac enough that his invisible trampoline was ripped out from under him. I have so, so much to do today (I started to list, but that just causes anxiety. Let's just say that I need to 'winterize' my house). I need to recover from this quickly. I'm allergic to coffee, otherwise I might be tempted to take on that bad habit just to I don't ruin my children's self esteem in one foul swoop.

Pull it together woman!

Check on us later today. Our safety may depend on it.

Surprise, Jess!

Nobody loves surpises more than I do, and last night the surprise was on me. Dad and Grandma K. flew into visit. How wonderful it will be to have them here for the next few days, taking part in our routine; something I've missed very much. It's great to have gone out to dinner with them last night, to buy groceries with Grandma last night, to have them sit in my living room, these little things that I've missed sharing with my family.

There' more fun to have. They will be able to attend Maddie and Isaac's last soccer games on Saturday, and get to see them rehearse for the Primary Program on Sunday; more of the little things, more of our routine, more of our life away from our REAL life back home in CA.

and so it begins

You wouldn't believe it if I told you. Or maybe you would. After all, it is Montana.

No friends, this isn't from last winter. I just took this picture less than an hour ago.

Somewhere under there are my mums.

They say that we will climb back up to the 60s by the weekend.

I'm just now ready to take on fall(let alone winter). But already Maddie and Isaac are wearing their fancy board jackets from the GAP that I scored for $13 each.

So now that the weather outside is frightful, and since inside it's so delightful, we have to bring the outside in:

Today she decided to add to her list of ruins (the box of my winter sweaters, the insulation from the basement, etc). I get to break the news to her out-of-town daddy that today she ripped the screen off of the sliding glass door and (as if that didn't satisfy the satan inside of her) then shredded it.

The question of the day: how long until spring?

That's Joincidence With a C

Isn’t irony fun? But even as I type this and Maddie read it over my shoulder, I couldn’t come up with an example of irony. I couldn’t tell her the one about the guy who recently showed up to his wife’s doctor appointment after she had served him divorce papers and then he stabbed her to death. I found it ironic that he worked as a criminal statistics person and his first name was Wisdom. Some people think that the word ironic is overused, and that coincidence might be a more appropriate description (that’s jo-incidence with a C Pheobes). I found more irony tonight here in Montana. Those who know me might recall that I have a deep love for Girl Scout cookies. Not because I ever was a Girl Scout, but because of the tradition and well, I love cookies. Nothing fancy, my favorites are Shortbread and Thin Mints. Love, love, love the Thin Mints. Tonight was the parent meeting for Maddie’s Brownie Troup. This is a first for us, neither one of us have ever participated in the Girl Scouts program. I am excited for her, though I didn’t seek out this opportunity. It was by luck that our wonderful daycare provider is one of the Brownie Troup Leaders and recruited Maddie. Nonetheless, I am thrilled to be apart of Brownies. You can never have enough ‘Girl Time’. So at this parent meeting tonight, held at the home of one of the parents, I was put in charge of the cookie sales. I am the Cookie Manager. The tasks are what you might expect: collecting and submitting orders, picking up the (literally) carloads of cookies, storing the cookies at my home, and collecting and submitting money. As long as it’s not during business hours, I can handle it. As you can imagine, none of the other moms were jumping up and down in excitement over this position. I think there was an element of relief that the ‘new girl’ stepped in. So while there is a bit of irony in the fact that I love Girl Scout cookies and am now the Girl Scout Cookie Manager, or that we just joined Brownies and the cookie sale starts this Saturday, this is the irony I found in tonight’s events: to participate as the Cookie Manager for Girl Scouts, I had to pay them. I had to pay them for me to organize, collect, use my gas and my time, etc. I had to pay them $10 for my registration fee and $3 for my background check. This after paying Maddie’s registration fee. I am not bitter. I am not angered. I do find it a bit ironic that I am paying them to work for them. Even now as I am exhausted from work and soccer practice and the no-dinner and the Brownie parent meeting, I feel a little bit important, a little more needed, and even excited to be the Cookie Manager. How simple my life must be, one might think, to be excited about being the Cookie Manager. Maybe. But I’m not going to trade places with them.

Francis Scott Key's Other Lyrics

I may have already mentioned that Isaac recently learned The Star-Spangled Banner at school. He went around the house for two weeks singing it and was so impressed that his mom could play it on the piano. So this morning, when we were getting ready for church I had one of those wish-I-had-a-hidden-camera moments. A hidden tape recorder would have done just fine. Isaac was kneeling at the side of my bed with two Lego characters. Putting this in writing will not do it justice, but I have to share! He was playing pirates with these characters, and singing (not acting) the scene out to our National Anthem's melody. Starting the tune at 'O're the ramparts we watched': "The children were lost, and the captain was dead. When they asked them for food, all they brought them was bread." Then "The prisoners escaped, and they chopped off their hands..." This went on for 10 minutes, and I tried to burn the whole song into my brain without success. This is all I could remember. This guy is a genius. I know it's not a reverent or patriotic rendition of The Star-Spangle Banner, but it was absolutely priceless.

T.G.I.F.O.: Thank Goodness it's Finally Over

Has anyone else out there had a long week?

This week has been long for me.

On Monday and Tuesday we had our big once-a-year meeting that our customers fly in for. It's a pretty big deal, as a matter of fact: planning has already begun for next year.

This big Customer Thing kept me at work late Monday night, and then decorating all day Tuesday for the big 'Luau' (as much of a luau as you can do in Montana). I should mention that much, much alcohol was consumed (mostly by our own employees). Monday night I wandered around to all three of the bars set up in our office in search of something alcohol-free. Finally, bartender number three had a Pepsi.

The week continued with a couple of soccer practices, open house at school (complete with the Book Fair that always robs us blind), and wouldn't you know: Friday finally arrived. As an added bonus for surviving, I got my bangs to do the swoop-y thing AND I took the afternoon off (finally getting MT plates for my car).

One might think that a girl like me would make the most of having such a precious afternoon free. Catching up on house work, errands, etc. I did and I will. But better than that: I slept. And with it not even 4:30 yet, I've still got time to do the other crap.

PS Why does it bother me that Maddie just ran in here and got her $4 to buy the other kids treats from the ice cream man? I should be proud, but something rotten in me wanted to tell the other kids to get their own.

Is Gunther In the House?

I wrote a little bit before about the guy at work that would remind you so much of Phoebe's gym-shorts-wearing boyfriend that Gunther had to tell "put the mouse back in the house".

I just don't get this guy. He wears these short shorts that are tight and often made with thin material. There's no dress code at work, so even though he's a team leader, no one minds that he wears these virtual Daisy-Dukes with a grungy T-shirt.

Tuesday morning we had a meeting with me (still the new girl), our boss and two team leaders. Score: Guys=3 Girls=1, just me.

In comes Mr. Skimpy Shorts in usual garb. He gets ready to take the seat next to me, but first has to do this exagerated "foot up on the desk to tie the shoe". Like he couldn't modestly tie his shoe from his seat?

I had mentioned recently that he likes to stand and talk to the person sitting next to me with his foot resting on the desk. It's almost like he's trying to put himself on display.

Seated next to me, he has both feet up on the boss' desk throughout our meeting. He did the whole tipping back in his chair thing that all second graders know not to do. No, he didn't fall, but he was sure asking for it.

This guys arrogance blows me away. How professional is it to prance around the office like you're at the gym with the guys?

In case you're wondering, he's not all that. He is tall and has a descent build, but not much beyond that. Honestly, I'm so repulsed by the way he dresses and carries himself to make a fair judgement.

I just wish Gunther was around to remind him to put his mouse back in the house.

This Week in Montana

With our internet being up and down and down and down and up, posting isn't often possible. So then I end up puking it all out at once. Here goes.

Isaac and Maddy broke up. His dad told him that it's good; now he can play the field. Men suck.

There's no dress code at my new job. Remember the episode of F*R*I*E*N*D*S when Phoebe's boyfriend was athletic and wore shorts that exposed his parts? One of the "team leaders" at work wears skimpy man shorts (some are made of T-shirt fabric). He's a tall guy, and likes to rest his foot on the desk of the person sitting next to me while they talk. I have not witnessed any exposure, but I will continue to stare at my computer screen until my eyes burn each time he comes by.

I met my parents in Utah last weekend. Though my kids were sick, mom was under the weather, and I made the long drive without David, it was totally worth it and I was thrilled to have had the opportunity to be with them.

While in Utah, we took in the BYU vs. Boston football game. Fun time, though their quarterback isn't all that. We bumped in to my cousin who has season tickets to the BYU football games. He lives in San Diego but will commute on his buddy's private plane. Whatever.

Said cousin can commute from San Diego to Utah for many of the Saturday's this fall, but can't show up to a family event. I'm not bitter.

Tomorrow will be our first soccer games: Isaac and I at 8:30, Maddie at 10am. I am very excited. The weather doesn't seem to want to co-operate.

Many obnoxious soccer pictures to follow.

Bits and Pieces

-The kids got off to a great start at school this week. We are all very excited about 1st and 3rd grade.

-David took a fall last night. He went to check on Benny the Big Black Lab Puppy around midnight and missed a step on the deck stairs. He landed pretty hard on his shoulder. Poor guy hasn't been out of bed all day.

-This afternoon we couldn't figure out what Benny was barking at. Turned out she had a visitor in our back yard...

This week seemed especially full of antelope. We seem them grazing in the fields throughout the day, but something is bringing them up to our houses lately. On Friday, a whole bunch of them must have gotten spooked because they charged down the side of the house next door and in to the street behind us. Kids riding bikes to school had to slam on their brakes to avoid the startled creatures.

-I thought I was handling my absence from THE wedding of the year pretty well, but come Saturday, missing out on Sarah's wedding hit me kinda hard. Thanks to Mrs. M. I've seen pictures and the bride was absolutely stunning. Much congratulations!

-Soccer starts tomorrow for our family. I'm so excited for them and for me. Even though I have no experience and played only one year as a kid, I'll be the assistant coach to Isaac's team. I just wish we had family nearby to come and watch us.

-The weather is unbelievably unpredictable around here. Today and tomorrow: sunny and 90's. Tuesday: rainy and 70s. We had even bigger variations in the temperatures last week.

-Between me, you, and the fence post: Isaac has a sweetheart. After school they go home with friends from church who have kids the same age as Maddie and Isaac. Love is in the air. His girlfriend's name? Maddy.

Tuesday's With Rory

There are certain sentences that you don't expect to come shooting out of your husband's mouth.

"Have a seat honey, I'll clean the kitchen."

"Go back to sleep dear, I'll clean up the puke."

"Sweetheart, you'd better run to the mall. You haven't been buying enough outfits for yourself lately."

While I keep waiting for these sentences to be verbalized, something my husband said tonight did catch me by surprise.

For the last few weeks my Tuesday nights (and all the nights in between) have been dedicated to catching up on re-runs of the Gilmore Girls. If you haven't heard, I am borderline obsessed with this hour of genius.

But tonight, I had to put my Girls on the back burner due to the hustle and bustle with tomorrow being the 1st day of school for our Maddie and Isaac. With the last minute haircut, outfits to lay out, and a quick trip to the store, my evening, sadly, was without my friends Rory and Lauralie (sp?).

So on the way to Wal-Mart, I called home to discuss a few things with my husband. He rushed the conversation, and attempted to get off of the phone with me. When I questioned why, he said "I have to hang up because I'm missing the Gilmore Girls".

I ask you ladies, is he turning into one of us?

Jessica Tandy Doesn't Live Here

Okay, girls...I've done it. I would bet that a few of us of have thought about doing it after seeing the movie. I've done it, and I suggest you don't. I was not please with the outcome. I made Fried Green Tomotoes.

I've had a bit of curiousity about it for many years, but wasn't compelled to actually try it until my husband expressed interest. Guys can get us to try anything.

I brought home some green tomatoes from our morning at the Farmer's Market yesterday, and then later on went to the store for specific ingredients. Green tomatoes are not regular tomatoes that haven't reached their 'peak' ripeness. They are a different kind of tomato with a distinct flavor (in my opinion).

Keeping with a southern theme, the fried green tomatoes were going along side fried chicken and red potatoes boiled with fresh dill (also brought home from the Farmer's Market). Most of the dinner was quite yummy, and my usually-fussy-eater, Isaac, repeatedly applaused the chicken.

But the fried green tomatoes were plain disgusting. I'm quite sure that it wasn't caused by anything I did or didn't do. The flavor from the green tomatoes themselves was strange and sort of bitter. I can't even come up with something to compare them to, to help you grasp what my taste buds experienced. It just didn't do it for me. My husband either.

I'm glad that I tried it. It's great to put curiousity to rest. But I can assure you that will not ever make fried green tomatoes again. Please accept my apologies Fannie Flag, Mary Stuart Masterson, Mary-Louise Parker, Jessica Tandy, Chris O'Donell, Cicily Tyson, and last but not least: Cathy Bates.

Bunny's Big Day Out

Continuing on with my chronic boredom, I took a look at a few other blogs floating around in our online world. Boy do I feel so normal and down to earth.

This morning, the kids and I ventured out to our town's Farmer's Market. As previously mentioned, I am not impressed with this new town of ours in Montana, there's not a whole lot to do. But today I was pleasantly surprised, the Farmer's Market was great. 10(ish) city blocks 'downtown' were closed, making a huge square for people to walk around with their families and even dogs. There were plenty of vendors offering lots of vegetables, cotton candy, homemade pies, flower bouquets, loaves of bread, fabulous dinky donuts, there was even a butcher on hand.

There were lots of people there, with beautiful weather after a few days of chilliness and rain, the crowd was out to soak up more summer. Walking through all the foot traffic was shoulder to shoulder, thank goodness I didn't become separated from my kids.

We parked about 6 blocks away, and just as we arrived to the Farmer's Market, a train approached, the tracks were just a couple of blocks away. The kids and I took position to watch the large, loud train cross through downtown. We weren't the only spectators exctied to see the choo-choo. A normal-looking woman quickly maneuvered her stroller to the corner we were standing on so her and her rabbit could get a good look at the train. The bunny was black and perched at the top off the stroller, and down below were recently purchased vegetables. THEN the normal-looking woman leaned over, said something to the bunny, and pointed to the train, as if telling him to look at the big, noisy locomotive. I just have one question: what's up, doc?

Just Another Week on the Books

I try to stick with one theme for my blogs. But there is so much bouncing around in my head that the blogging horizon could be wide open tonight.

I started my new, low-paying job on Monday. This, with around 120+ employees, is the biggest company I've ever worked for. They are so big that websites are blocked, I can't even click on the headlines at Yahoo for the whole story. So I am completely in the dark about current events. I will not be logging on to my favorite blogs. I cannot hit the Channel 3 website back home to keep me up to speed on the going ons of my old stomping grounds.

This company I work for fills up storefront-type property downtown, like a less-glamorous Old Sac, but instead of facing the Sacramento River we face train tracks, in a charming way, not an old Roseville way. This company has filled in several spaces, with some stores in between, then we have more spaces, then a hotel, then more office spaces. I am not fortunate enough to be one of the employees that has their desk against the old brick wall with a mural. It's beautiful.

I am not quite as germ-a-phobic as Monk, but a runner up to Howie Mandel. On my first day, the human resources director took me throughout the whole company to introduce me to everyone. I shook hands with about half of the 100(ish) people that I met. How much soap does it take to get all those germs off of my hand? For that answer we'll go to Jack Nicholson's character in As Good as it Gets.

Today at 4pm they had 'beer hour' at work in honor of an employee's 10-year anniversary with the company. You don't see that a lot in California, no sucker wants to take on that liability. I quietly ate 2 meatballs, a handful of chips, and a cookie and was on my way. No one will miss the new girl. By the way, what clued them in that I'd be more interested in a soda than a beer?

Like anyone else who works a 40 (or more) hour week, I'm chanting the old T.G.IF., but my weekend won't live up to my hopes. Somehow it feels even more empty than usual. I am restless. The thought even crossed my mind of being the cool mom and gathering my kids from the neighboring houses and running off to do something fun tonight. But what? There's nothing to do. There's no family to drop in on. There's no Leatherby's. There's no Galleria Mall. There's no Lake Tahoe to drive to. There's nothing.

With this new week our little family is very much looking forward to the 1st day of school. Even at the ripe old age of 30 I still get excited about the new outfit (the one my kids don't even know I bought; for them, not me), the new shoes, the anticipation of meeting their new teacher and the excitement of picking out their new desk. After all these years, it's still exciting.

Catching Up

* I start a new job on Monday. I'm thrilled to have the opportunity to help contribute to the family finanaces, even looking forward to learning new things. But I've been absolutely sick over the wages. Apparently Montana has retro-$$, my hourly wage is less than I made in 1993.

*Being so sad and feeling sorry for my financially-challenged-self, I spent more money to get my hair done. I chopped it short and got highlights (more than I expected). It was a great pick-me-up: I love getting my hair done and the hairdresser was a young, 20-something that engaged in plenty of girl-talk with me.

* The big sister turned to the little sister: I took a picture of Jill to show the hairdresser what I wanted.

*The weather has been crazy. A tornado touched down Thursday night about 20 miles from here. Yesterday we froze. At our block party/BBQ last night, everyone was in long pants and winter coats in effort of surviving the 50 degree temps. Yes, that means that back home in California, their temps were exactly double what ours were yesterday. Did mother nature forget that it's August? It even snowed in SW MT.

* Due to the cloudy skies I missed out on the meteor showers Thursday and Friday nights. We did have a good sunset a few nights ago.

*I just had lunch with my young cousing Kristine, in town for a wedding. More beloved girl-talk. Her timing couldn't have been better, as we sat at Olive Garden, my family was gathered together for sweet baby Corbin's 1st birthday party (with out us).

*I nearly lost control of my emotions when we entered Olive Garden. When the anvil hit me on the head, it reminded me that the last time I was there, it was with my husband and my parents. During that meal, we got the phone call letting us know that the offer we made on our house had been accepted, and we were in escrow. Today when the hostess asked how many people were in our party I had to hold up fingers instead of verbally answering her while I composed myself.

*As if starting a new job on Monday wasn't stress enough, I will be putting David on an airplane tomorrow morning headed for Arkansas. I'll be juggling all the change of routine on my own (including daycare).

* My internet has been off and on, the tech can't come fix it until next Saturday. I'm afraid that if I have to go through the week with out email or blogs I might shrivel up and die.

Just a Little Change, Small to Say the Least

Before

After

I'll Take What I Can Get

No matter where I go, the greater-Sacramento area will always be my home. Nearly all of our family is there (both sides) and it has EVERYTHING.

I still keep on on it's local news via internet, trying to stay up to speed on the going ons back home. I follow Sacramento news more than I do the news here in my MT town.

I was elated last night to stumble upon a re-run of COPS set in Sacramento. Though it was taped around 10 years ago, it was great to identify the neighborhoods, even seeing old family friend: officer Dave P.

I love these little tastes of home (even though it comes in the form of criminals), and can't wait to be there again.

David & Jess' Question:

Oreos without milk vs. brownies without milk?

It's the Little Things That Keep Me Going

In this lonely existance, I am very thankful tonight to be blessed with my Maddie and Isaac to keep me company, and not one, not two, but THREE back-to-back episodes of Gilmore Girls. I'll do the dishes soon, I promise.

You Know It's Summer When...

the scissors are always sticky and the cut-off tops from the Otter Pops are littering your kitchen counter.

Thank Goodness for Satellite Radio!

I love finding these little vices that save me from this life of boredom here in MT. I tend to surf the channels on the FM (sometimes even the AM) while I drive. I am very anti-country music, but I love lots of other types of music, especially oldies (ie Beattles). So far the few stations I have found aren't cutting it for me. I think that I must be the black sheep in this great big state of country listeners.

While I remain unsatisfied in the car, I am thoroughly enjoying the music stations that accompany our movie channels at home. Way up in the 900s I find all the different types of music, catergorized for my convenience. I can bounce around from alternative, 90s, 80s, oldies, even showtunes if my heart desired (not so much). In the last couple of hours my ears have been touched by R.E.M., Heart, Janet Jackson, New Edition, Stevie Wonder, and currently Def Leppard. Yesterday I just about did cartwheels when I came upon a Duran Duran song. I love this. If nothing else, it's been a great trip down memory lane.

Sidenote: Much to my chagrin, my husband listens to country music (thankfully not exclusively) and even has a couple of 'their' CDs. My six-year-old, Isaac, was listening to one of Dad's country CD's in his diskman. He says "hey, these guys are pretty good. They should be on the radio". If only he new that his mom has been sheltering him from this music, and that 'these guys' have been on the radio for years. My poor son has been corrupted. He's been turned to the dark side. It's time to get him the heck out of MT before the damage is irreversible.

We Crossed the State Line

To escape the boredom, today we drove to Cody, WY located about 1 1/2 hours south of our town. However, today it took us 2 hours to get there thanks to all of the Harley riders we were sharing the two-laned road with the whole time. If the speed limit is 70 m.p.h., why do they only go 55? We ran into a bit of a traffic jam in a wee-little town along the way. Their parade, complete with firetrucks and other emergency vehicles, was just beginning when we arrived. We were re-directed, as to not disturb the event, and I wondered: in this town of maybe 500 people, who's left to watch on the sidelines with so many people participating, especially with so many on their chosen automobile...

Once in Cody, it quickly became obvious that this town was entirely based on tourism, and depended heavily on traffic exiting Yellowstone National Park. It was cute and full of all the quaint little stores. We especially loved the Cowboy Christmas shop.

We spent some time at Wild Bill Dam, a very, very windy experience.

Friends and family know that I have an extreme fear of heights that keeps me from participating in a lot of activities. Visiting any dam provides enough anxiety to last me all afternoon, especially when my husband feels the need to take my children across the foot bridge at the top of the dam. The drop on the other side was over 300 feet. Once inside the overlooking visitors center, I still couldn't look, even though there were walls and windows protecting me from a fall.

When we got back to our town, we took a break to take in a few of the 31 flavors that we all love so much. Why is it that my kids, okay just Maddie has a knack for getting food everywhere?

I hope you have been able to escape boredom this weekend (minus reading this post). Oh you're not bored, you have lives!

This Town Needs an Enima!

Okay, maybe I've gone a little far (and no one outside of my sisters will get the Jack Nicholson/Batman reference), but this town definetly needs help.

You know you've hit rock-bottom boredom when you're home on a Friday night and the only thing you've got going for you are M*A*S*H reruns. It reminds me of when my kids were babies and the highlight of Friday night was the latest episode of Boy Meets World.

This morning the cable guy and I struck up a conversation when he was installing a digital box on my bedroom TV (not as kinky as it sounds). He's also from California. We went back and forth, discussing that yes, this town is great for raising kids because it provides such a good shelter. But when I asked him if he liked it here, he simply replied "it's boring".

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! It's not just me! This is an incredibly boring place to live, and now I have a real-live person to back me up.

There is nothing to do here in southern Montana. Yes, I am fortunate to be near several National Parks (ie Yellowstone, Mt. Rushmore, Glacier, Devil's Tower, Big Horn Canyon, Custer's Last Stand), but they are 2-8 hours away. My nearest relative is 6 hours away, and while I think they're great, we have nothing in common.

Have I mentioned that I'm bored? Bored, bored, bored.

I just spent several weeks, over a month with my parents and siblings. When I got tired of them, Becka and Jody were on hand to entertain me. Okay, that came off quite self-centered, but there's no one even close to filling even the least of these shoes.

Not to mention that during the warm summer months we had lots of relatives with beautiful backyard pools. Not here in Montana.

I haven't even touched on how much there was to do when we lived in Nevada. Come on! We were 20 minutes from Lake Tahoe! What more could you ask for? And the hiking, the beautiful hiking, also just 20 minutes away. I never got desperate enough, but if I had, I could have taken advantage of the nearby casinos.

I'm sorry to barf this out for you, at the beginning of your fantastic, fun-filled weekend. Just have a great (but safe) time, and share your stories with me. I'll soak them up like a sponge.

Are We Over the Rainbow?

With Sunday being our first day back in Montana after a 5 week absence, and my first day facing reality, we were already smacked with the extreme weather that MT has to offer.

The sky grew dark, and just as the horrendous sound of the Emergency Alert System sent typed warnings across the TV screen, it's predicted thunderstorm hit. It was big and delivered a lot of rain, enough so that it washed all the dirt in the street produced by construction down to the bottom of the hill we reside on, into a 6-inch-deep muddy mess for us to manuever our cars through for the next couple of days. With candles lit and the kids a bit frightened, the thunder was fierce.

The storm passed quickly, and concluded with a double rainbow in the eastern sky, and bright sunshine in the west.

Since then the weather has approached the other extreme. On Wednesday, we hit 106 degrees, a record for this part of MT. JP told me that it's my fault. I brought the heat with me to my new state. It was miserable, and I hope to not ever experience again. I can handle those kinds of temps in Sacramento, but not out here, it just doesn't seem natural.

PS I am loving all the daylight MT has to offer, being so far north...it doesn't get dark until 10pm (maybe slightly earlier). Though this does result in me staying up too late.

Yellowstone on a Whim

As of 11pm m.d.t. last night, we are back at our house. Not home, because home is where I've been for the last month. Home is where my parents are. Home is where my fabulous sisters are. Home is where my wonderful brothers are. Home is where my life is. Buck up, you say? I'm trying. We decided (sort of last minute) to add several hours to yesterday's already long (10 hours) drive so that we could take our children through Yellowstone. I'm happy to have seen the sights, but leaving Aunt Sandy's at 9:30am and getting home at 11pm makes for a long, long day. Warning: unaware that I would be photographed during our trek, I chose to not apply make-up. Carry on...

Our timing couldn't have been better. Old Faithful gave us long enough to park and unload, even walk over to some shade before blowing its top. There were thousands of people around us.

Anyone who has been to Yellowstone knows that if other cars are pulled to the side of the road, slam on your brakes and join them because that is your opportunity to take in what nature has to offer. I had to hang up on Jaye when we came upon these girls. The jury is still out on whether they are mule deer or female elk, but we saw lots of them throughout the park.

We also saw a lot of bison. Supposedly (no, not supposably) these guys can run 30 m.p.h., the park tries to convince of this in the fluorescent flyer they handed out at the gate. There must be a lot of stupid people attending our national parks for them to go to such great lengths to warn us of getting gored by these creatures. Alas, I did see one of the stupid ones taking his sons in for a closer look. I should add that his brilliant wife waited in the car. By the way, our puppy felt the need to growl at one of these bison, like she could take him on.

Maddie and I braved the extreme heights to take a quick peek at Artist Point. A very quick peek.

After stopping for a potty break, Isaac informed us that this sign meant "No peeing".

Though I was sad to leave the comforts of my extended family, I must admit that I was excited about the beauty that my new state greeted me with, welcoming me home. My current, but hopefully temporary home.

Grandma J.

Like my own children, when I was born I had lots of grandparents, most within 75 miles. I've stayed especially close to my Grandma K. (my dad's mom), and Grandma J. (Grandma K.'s mom).

I love their stories of years gone by, and try to burn them into my memory so that these precious moments will live on.

Not to be cliche, but it was smack-dab-middle of the depression when Grandma J. was a young married woman. Her and Grampa J. shared a 16x16 one-room house with her brother and sister in-law, also a young married couple. A sheet draped down the middle of the room offered their privacy, and romance had to be saved for when the noisy train passed through town at night.

They still lived there when their 1st child was born. Their baby girl was breech so the doctor (and Grandma) had a difficult time delivering her. Since it was such a small hospital, Grampa was permitted to remain at Grandma's side. Years later Grandma learned that several hours into the labor, the doctor told Grandma's sister that he wasn't sure either the mom or the baby would survive. Thankfully, they both did, but the doctor gave Grandma so much ether, the family believes it turned her hair white overnight. Her children only remember her with gray/white hair.

Grandma's second baby girl (my Grandma K.) was born much easier, and much, much quicker. Grandma J. had only been at the hospital 20 minutes when she delivered, not even having time to undress.

Grandma's third baby brought them a boy, also with a nice, short labor and delivery. When the doctor was delivering baby number four, also a boy, he told Grampa J. that it was going to be 2 hours before the baby arrived, would he like to go home and rest. Grampa told the doctor that he didn't care if it took 4 hours, he wasn't going anywhere. Baby arrived in 2 hours, 10 minutes.

While I wished I had been fortunate enough to have short labors like Grandma J., these stories are my treasures.

Grandma J. turns 94 next month. Her mom and a few of her siblings lived into their 90s. She truly is a joy to be with and I am so thankful for the wonderful spirit she brings into our lives. Grandparents like her and Grandma K. should be immortal.

Things I Did Last Week, And Wish I Was In Town to Do Next Week

1.) Give Fudge (the chocolate lab) a backyard bath with Dad. I think her coat is 4 shades lighter. 2.) Scrapbook with Mom. She's just starting out, we've got a long way to go. 3.) Late night run to Wal-Mart with JP. For some reason it's okay to act childish in the store after 10pm. We do it well. 4.) Torment the cats at Jaye's house. I'm not happy until Regae is growling and Fiona is running from me. I'm such a child. 5.) Late night bowling with Jordan. His score will never be higher than mine. 6.) Give Jamesson more driving lessons. He needs a lot.

Ode to Dad

He keeps watch over the kids So we can go out. He never makes fuss, Not even a pout. He takes us for ice cream Each Monday night. He puts smiles on faces, He makes everything right. He works very hard. He gets the job done. He never complains. He's A number One. Thanks a whole bunch For all that you do. I hope that you know How much we love you.

Tuesday's With Isaac

"Mom I love you more than I love my yellow ninja. What do you love me more than?" "Gilmore Girls." "You do?!" (Ear to ear grin.) "Do you love me more than scrapbooking?" "Of course I do." "Why didn't you ever tell me?"

It's Good to be Home

In a few short days, I will have to head east, back to Montana, back to reality. The time has come to scramble, to get everything done on my California To Do List.

In the short time I had to grow homesick in MT, I day-dreamed about visiting my favorite establishments not present in my new town...

1.) Chevy's (done, just today).

2.) Round Table.

3.) Mervyn's.

4.) Macy's.

5.) A real mall (I've made it to Arden, but not the Galleria).

6.) A real Old Navy (yes my town has one, but it's half the normal size).

But I'm surprised at the stuff that wasn't on my list that I'm enjoying the most, and thankful I'm here to do it.

1.) Fixing dinners side by side with my mom.

2.) Driving my brother here and there.

3.) Spending time with my sisters (which topped all lists).

4.) Attending Paige's championship softball game.

5.) Lounging by the pool with Jody & Beck and having our boys back together.

While I miss my husband greatly, I wish I could say that I was looking forward to going home. Let's face it folks, I am home.

Parking Lot Rage

I grew up in a home without prejudices. My parents, especially my dad, set a wonderful example of equality of races. The *N* word was absolutely forbidden, maybe even more than the *F* word, and I never heard either spoken by my parents. I hope that I am setting the same example for my own kids, though I have felt a little concern because in the last two years, the towns we have lived in have not had a whole lot of diversity. All the more reason to move back to California.

But yesterday's experience left me un-easy, and left me wanting to confront people, even though they appeared to be threatening. I am visiting my family and friends "at home" in California, and my mom and I were stopping by a near-by grocery store. I should mention, that this grocery store was not in the getto, but in an up-scale neighborhood, where the home prices are $400,000 to $600,000 (maybe even higher). In the crowded parking lot, a maroon-colored Suburban packed full of young, black men got extremely angry with me because I wouldn't 'let them in' to the growing traffic back-up. Truth be told, I tried to let them in, but when I put the car in reverse, the car behind me didn't get the hint, and I was stuck. Once the cars started moving, this Suburban was then able to pull behind me and express their anger. They were screaming at me, honking at me, waiving their arms at me, and need I mention flipping me off?

I was not at fault. They didn't have the right-of-way. These were just impatient boys who should be used to tolerating traffic, after all, they live in a valley with millions of commuters. I wanted to jump out of the car and shove it right back on them. What was their hurry? Were they trying to impress each other with their attempt to scare me? Were they trying to maintain an image?

Though I took the safe route by staying put in the car and continuing to drive through the crowded parking lot, I wished I could have pointed out how 'out of line' they were, how idiotic their behavior was, and that they were just plain stupid.

My TV Heart is Full Again

I have a new love.

Many of you are aware of my obsession with the beloved F*R*I*E*N*D*S that left me empty and abandoned after the finale last season. And I'm sure that I've already complained to you that it came at a horrible time, I had moved away from my friends and family and then turned 30. All without my F*R*I*E*N*D*S.

I hadn't grabbed hold of anything since, though Will & Grace have helped me along. But thanks to ABC Family Channel re-runs, I have discovered something so wonderful, I'm just plain giddy. Gilmore Girls is an hour of heaven that I hadn't watched sooner because it had been in the Thursday-8pm timeslot, obviously a time that my TV was fixed at NBC. But now my TV-watching-calendar and my heart have room for 60 minutes of sheer entertainment.

As I catch up on past seasons, I try to balance the new episodes, and even watched the season finale just a couple of weeks ago. The fast-paced humor mixed with a hint of drama keeps me absolutely absorbed. I already have a few favorite lines from their genius dialog:

"For people who spend $40 at the Clinique counter, how do we not have any tote bags?"

"I never knew so many foods came on a stick!"

I had never been so impressed as yesterday when they used my phrase of 15 years "Freak-of-nature".

This show truly is genius, I hope it's around for a long time.

Don't You Mean Lactose Intolerant?

My Maddie (8) is a princess that loves to be down in the dirt. I would never take credit for how well-rounded she is, in fact, I envy her. I could never express my feelings of love, admiration, all the cheesy things a mom would say, but this girl is golden.

She has a great vocabulary, and is becoming a good speller and reader. But in this day and age, there are a lot more words and phrases for us to keep up with. Maddie mixes them up in the most wonderful way. We have labeled them Maddie-isms...

She rinses her mouth with flurox.

When I offered her young guest a glass of milk after a sleep-over, Maddie was surprised that her friend accepted it. She turned to her playmate and said "aren't you a paleontologist"?

Our puppy got in the car after a morning rain. When I complained about the smell of wet dog, Maddie mentioned that our black-lab puppy, Benny, smelled like her grandmother's chocolate lab, Fudge. I said, "well, sure they smell the same, they're both dogs". Maddie replied, "and the same religion".

She saw a car for sale, and wondered why anyone would want to buy it because the "roof been had chipped off". I then explained that it was a convertible.

Oh, how I wish I had written these down from the beginning. There are some that date back to when she was 3. Like the day she came home from pre-school, so excited about the birthday pupcakes a classmate's mom brought in.

As summer begins, and we'll be together so much more, I look forward to her unknown comedy.

Call Me Co-Dependant

It's a very strange time of my life. I hate that I am 1,000 miles from home. I hate that I'm away from my family. I miss all of our girls-nights-out. This list is miles long and depressing, and not the point I'm trying to make.

As hard as it is to be away from 'my life', I've really tried to create one here. But the more I do here, the further away I feel. I want to share everything we've seen and done here with my family back home. We've seen wonderful things, even been to National Parks (plural). While I feel so thankful to be able to do these things, and appreciate that David and I are able to give our kids these opportunities, I wish my parents and siblings could join us.

I wish they could see the antelope walking through our neighborhood.

I can't take them back for my first time at Mt. Rushmore, but I'll be there for theirs.

They won't believe that I saw a billboard for "The Testicle Festival" in western Montana.

I'll never be able to fully explain the lightning/hail/flash flood storm we got caught in yesterday at Bighorn Canyon.

My family used to be part of my every day life. There are so many things (bad & good) that are now part of my every day life. I wish geography would allow me to have both.

PS How Senior Citizen am I? We now carry the card that allows us to enter all of National Parks in the US for free. Not to worry, I'm still 30.

May the Force Be With You

Our family has had a love affair with the Star Wars phenomenon since its beginning in the late 70s. I can remember seeing Star Wars when I was about 4 at a drive in in Mt. Shasta, CA. Our adoration continued through the years, my favorite will always be Return of the Jedi.

So upon the release of the 6th and final movie this week, we've done it all. We've collected just about all that Burger King has to offer in the form action figures (didn't win the $1,000,000 though). And Isaac's birthday played right into the frenzy, most of his gifts centered around Star Wars, including the Millennium Falcon and Darth Vader voice changer. It's been exceptionally fun for me, because being the sissy-la-la girl that I was, I never had a Luke action figure or Lando or any of the ships, so maybe I went a little overboard. But it's been a blast. Lightsaber count: 3.

The kids and David went to see Revenge of the Sith on Saturday, and any fears I had about the movie being too scary for the kids subsided, and they excitedly talked about all the important parts, leaking too much information to mom.

So last night my Isaac paid me the ultimate compliment that I shall treasure forever. As we cuddled before bedtime he sweetly told me that he loved me "more than Star Wars". A boy never said kinder words to his momma.

Just Thought I'd Mention...

* yesterday when we walked out the front door to go to church an antelope was walking down the street right in front of our house. It was as if someone yelled "action!" and cued him as we emerged in our church clothes.

* my mom came to visit last week. It was long awaited and much anticipated. We had a great time and hit most of the stores in Billings (not a huge fete).

* I fell. I thought I'd be an extra nice mom early Friday morning and take the puppy for a walk. It wasn't long before she decided to cross in front of me and trip me, sending me into that 8-10 step attempt at recovery, failing miserably and falling hard on my hand and knees. I bled. I still look like a child with big scabs on my palms and left knee. Much soreness.

* we journeyed 5 1/2 hours last weekend to see my cousin graduate from college. Geography and age kept us from spending time together growing up, as a matter of fact this was only the 5th time we had seen each other. She's adorable and has a great personality. Her and my sister Jaye were cut from the same clothe. I wish her luck as a physical therapist.

* I really want to win the cruise Kelly and Regis are giving away. I've got my list of 19 companions ready to take with me. I've got room for Jennifer Aniston, do you think she'd be interested?

* this is the last week of school. Come Friday afternoon, summer official begins for our family.

* I want to go home. I'm trying to be patient, but I'm ready to head west. I wouldn't call it homesickness, but let's face it: I've been away 2 1/2 months. It's time.

Shel Silverstein Doesn't Live Here

Have You Ever Wondered

where the sidewalk ends? For those of you who loved Jimmy Jet and His TV Set, it ends right in front of my house. Not gradually, but suddenly and into a hole. I expect it will stay like that until they finish building the house next door. if there was a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow? There’s not. Several years ago I was driving while I observed a big, beautiful rainbow. I was soon close enough to see the end, and I have to tell you there was no pot of gold. The end of the rainbow was gently embracing a former Air Force Base.

Is it Weird That

the voice in my head has started speaking with accents? Some times it's British. Sometimes it's Brooklyn.

Have I Ever Told You

about the time I went swimming in the quarry with Jody, JaimeeLameyHairyMimiH., & David C.? That was one of my most disgusting life experiences. David C. didn’t mind, he kept climbing higher and higher, seeking out the most dangerous thing to dive from. about the time I convinced my then 5 & 7 year old brothers that men grow a third arm out the middle of their backs that has to be surgically removed? that I have never been to Disneyland without Rebecca?

about the time six sheriff cars surrounded my truck, over flowing with classmates, my senior year because we were driving around egging each other?

Crying Machines

I love girls' softball. I played many seasons when I was younger, though I was never very good. So I jumped at the chance to sit in the semi-warm sun last week and take in a varsity game at the nearby highschool, wishing I knew someone either on the field or one of the spectators. No luck at finding a friend, but I did get a tan line (and turned my nose bright red inspite of my foundation containing sunblock).

But the fun wasn't just in the outfield. Two of the girls on our team had their home economics projects with them. You know the one: it started as a raw egg, then evolved into a sack of flour, and then here we are a few years later with the robotic baby doll. This state-of-the-art baby will cry, then teenage student mom must scramble to feed it the pretend bottle, change it, burp it, give it it's pacifier, meanwhile some chip inside the doll is recording the response time and then the student will be graded on how long the baby cried.

I saw one of these babies go off in the grocery store one time. We were standing in line at the cashier when the doll really started to wail. People were shouting out suggestions and advice from four lines away in effort to help the frantic girl and her poor mother.

These softball players couldn't just leave their assignments at home, and brought them to the game, carseat and all. Every now and then they would have to stop in the middle of warm-ups to run over and plug in a pacifier. My husband, sitting next to me, was slower to pick up that they were just dolls.

The real fun for me, the spectator, started when the game did. You see, these athletes couldn't take these babies into the dugouts. Project: Babysitter. The dolls were handed off to the girls' dads, or rather, the student grandfathers. There was something comical, yet precious about grown men teaming up to quiet the crying babies. They laid the doll on the grass...offered the bottle...offered the pacifier...changed the diaper...and even more adorable: burped it. These dad's made an all-out effort to calm this robot.

I don't know first hand, but these projects seem genius. What better way for these teenagers to learn how hard it can be to have a baby at such a young age. I'm sure it's also educational for the parents of the students too, especially after they're dragged into the project. Surely there's more talk about abstinence in the home as a result of these assignments.

Something that struck me as odd: one of the mom's showed up late for the game and her annoyance at the assignment was overly obvious, mostly because she kept repeating: "stupid assignment" as she bounced and patted the babies back as if it were real. She was not into it the way the dads had been.

Nevertheless, it was fun to watch the crowd and listen to the jabs offered by other audience members. I even saw the grandmother of one of the softball players walk up and ask if she could see the other girl's baby. Then they sat and compared the two infants.

I hope some will get the message, and learn from these crying robots. But one lesson they won't learn through this assignment: how stinky and often those poopy diapers are.

She's No Julia Roberts

Should this "Runaway Bride" face criminal charges?

With this 32-year-old found safe and sound many miles from her home, we're quick to be thankful for this happy ending. With fresh wounds in our memory of Lori Hacking and Laci Peterson, it's getting harder and harder to hold out hope for missing women (let alone children) to be brought home and reunited with family.

Rather than a happy ending to a frightening week, I think this woman is setting out on a long road of starting her new life, not as a wife, but now rebuilding trust and her reputation with her family and community.

Let's take on the financial burden. This wedding was set to be gigantic; 14 bridesmaids and groomsmen, 600 guests...this has all been paid for. There will be no refunds on flowers, catering, or tuxedo rentals due to her parents.

Does it compare with the financial burden placed on the shoulders of law enforcement agencies? The forensic experts, the man-hours, the list is long. Not to mention the many volunteers who generously gave of their time and concern.

Did anyone think it was the husband-to-be responsible for her disappearance? Would he really be that dumb to use Mark Hacking's lame "she never came back from jogging"? Or is that where she got the inspiration for her escapades?

Will her fiance want her back? Does she want him back? Will her small town welcome her with open arms or place some sort of scarlet letter on her, unable to 'sweep this under the rug'. Would it be easier to forgive her if she were in her early 20's, instead of a 'mature' 32?

She's undoubtedly going to be wanted be all the morning news/talk shows. Katie will gently question her motives and was there really that much pressure? She'll have more than her '15 minutes of fame'.

Does she deserve a pardon by our nation, or should she be taken downtown in handcuffs for a little timeout?

Yet Another Weather Report

I hope all of you back home are soaking up beautiful, warm, sunny weather; the kind I know Sacramento is famous for. Maybe it's only 'famous' in my eyes, but I'm missing it.

As we speak/write, the temperature in Mytown, MT is a whopping 30 degrees. The snow that is falling is not the big, puffy, white flakes. It's the tiny, cold, blowing-straight-across-in-the-wind kind of a snow. I don't even know if there's enough moisture to help our drought-stricken town.

Many of you received news via email that our family grew over this past weekend when we adopted a black lab puppy. She's a sweet girl with all the personality typical in a puppy. What better time to walk this adorable Benny than with the wind and snow pelting me in the face.

Will this be our last snow of the season? These poor, beautiful tulips that have popped up in front of homes all over town have got to be so confused. What about these trees that have been producing beautiful blossoms? I've been counseled to not plant anything until after May 15. I've just about convinced myself that even then we'll still be seeking shelter from the cold.

So you lucky Californians, enjoy the warm. Enjoy the sun. Enjoy the opportunity you have to comfortably wear your sandals and capris while I continue to pile on the layers.

That's Not How We Do It In California

More to add to the list of the weird... Though I'm only 1,000 miles from home, some days it seems like a million. Other days I wonder if I'm on a different planet. Though I live in a city of 99,00 people, everyone really has a small-town mindset. *One Saturday morning I drove by a radio-sponsored fund-raiser in the form of a firetruck-pull. At that devine moment, it was the ladies' turn, lined up in a virtual tug-of-war with the enormous vehicle. * I've gotten used to the Antelope that spend time in our neighborhood, I enjoy it. But it was a little-close-for-comfort when I was picking up Isaac from school the other day, and the other parents had their eye on a fox. F-O-X. *This isn't necessarily small-town related, but for my LDS friends: on fast Sundays, two Deacons walk through the crowd with microphones for those who don't want to go up to the pulpit. Weird. *I have a new friend who is a long-time home renter (like I used to be). She doesn't want to buy a home here because they are so expensive. Hello! My brand-new house was only $160K. She's from Idaho. *This morning, when I dropped Isaac off at school it looked like we had arrived at Disneyland. There were picket-ers out in front; one in a raccoon costume, one in a chipmunk costume. Their cause? "Critters not concret."

It's Jill's Birthday!

On this special day (of which I am not a part, well I am because her & I are APART) I would like to wish my sister Happy Birthday. Please allow me to get cheesy. J is for the JOY she brings to our lives. I is for the INCREDIBLE sister that she is. L is for late. Let's face it folks, she's never on time. L is not only for LOVE, but also for the LAUGHTER we share. Since it's her birthday, I must take this opportunity to let her know that in 1096 days she will be 30. Thank you for being my sister. I hope that today will be special.

Forget the Room, Find a Crosswalk

Yet another sign I'm over the hill...

I'm not anti-teenager. I think they're great and have a deep appreciation for all they put up with at their age. It's a very confusing time. I have teenage brothers, cousins, and though my siblings may disagree, it hasn't been all that long since I was a teenager myself. I'm still convinced that there is a 17-year-old inside of me.

BUT today I had it and let them know it.

I live near a high school; it is a beautiful red-brick building. The only route available to get to my house is to drive by the highschool. I've learned there are certain times I should avoid driving by: when school starts, lunchtime, and then when school lets out. I have no problem giving them their space. Come on, folks, it hasn't been that long since I was racing off to the drive-thru with hopes to make it back before 4th period starts.

Surprise, surprise, my complaint today has nothing to do with their driving. My frustration is caused by the pedestrians. THREE times now (in the span of a week) I have had to slam on the brakes (today I had groceries and kids with whiplash) because of these snotty girls walking out in front of me. The first two occurances were within 25 feet of each other! When it happened today it was an entire mile from the school, but obviously students trying to hurry off to some 'extra-curicular' activity. I couldn't take it anymore! Since I was already at a complete stop due to their lack of consideration and safety, I chose to roll down my window on this rainy/snowy spring day, and loudly inform them that a cross walk was just a few feet away. They knew it, and they might not have even heard my reminder, but at least I feel like I got it off of my chest.

Will I do it again? Will I leave my comfort zone to yell at someone else's children? Would you?

Establishments NOT in My New Town

1.) Chevy's 2.) The Gap 3.) Cheesecake Factory 4.) Round Table Pizza 5.) Chevy's 6.) Jamba Juice (but they do have a Junga Juice, WHATEVER!) 7.) Baja Fresh 8.) Macy's 9.) Chili's 10.) Disney Store 11.) Sam's Club 12.) Mervyn's 13.) Did I mention Chevy's? 14.) Marie Callendar's 15.) Cinnabon 16.) PF Chang's to be continued...

When the Snot Takes Over

I catch a lot of colds. For about a year and a half I was only getting a three week break in between my colds. Our germ pool was huge: two different classrooms in elementary school, two different daycares, my job, David's job (RETAIL, hello!), and church. Not to mention the times we brought home germs from visiting our family.

Our 'pool' is much smaller now that we've moved 1,000 miles away. I've had a nice long stretch since my last bought, which was the full-blown flu in January.

Here I am, again with a cold. There are some comforts worth indulging in...

1.) Juice. In this no-carb, no-sugar world juice has become the enemy. But I have been having a full-on love affair with Tang this week.

2.) Hot compresses on my face. I just discovered this a couple of years ago, but I should use them even when I'm healthy. It's quite relaxing, but hard on the skin.

3.) TV. I love TV. This is the time when I can prop myself up on a pillow, guilt-free, and take in all that Regis and Kelly have to offer. Kelly just had strep (BTW).

4.) M&Ms. They don't make my sinuses magically clear, but I enjoyed about 1 pound of them yesterday.

5.) My Shower. I heavily depend on my shower each and every morning, like many depend on their cup of coffee, to get me up and at it. When the snot and pain have taken over: even more so. When I am sick the water is hotter, I stay in twice as long, and I ignore the pounding on the bathroom door. I love my shower.

I'm thinking of wearing a badge when I'm feeling like this. All that I come into contact with would read something like this...

"My head is full of pressure and snot.

Please do not hold me accountable if I say something stupid or run you off the road.

Check in with me in a few days, I'll be less weird then."

Tax Day

Many years ago, ok 10 to be exact, people chuckled once they learned of our wedding date. They tried to convince David and I that every year we'd spend our April 14th anniversary doing our taxes. I don't think we have more than just once, maybe twice.

So, on this, April 15th, I want to congratulate everyone and give you all a pat on the back in honor of your Tax Filing. I started and completed my efile this morning. Whoo Hooo!

To all who were up all night, back and shoulders hunched over piles of paperwork, take that extra shot of caffeine and remember: It's Friday!

Where Were You 10 Years Ago?

Today marks a special day.

10 years ago this morning I woke up after a restless night, wondering if he was going to be on time. Was he even going to make it at all? He spent the night camping with one of his brothers and his best friend at Camp Far West, one last 'hoorah'. There's no alarm clock out there. What will wake him up on time? Did they even sleep at all?

He made it. My groom-to-be picked me up on time. As we drove to the Oakland Temple, we bickered a bit. I complained about my sleepless night, he probably told me I was over-reacting.

I was far more concerned about punctuality than anything else that morning. I hoped I looked okay. But other than that, I wasn't nervous at all. Never once did I question my decision, or the events that were scheduled for that day. I never wondered if I was doing the right thing. I never had butterflies in my tummy. My approach to the big day was matter-of-fact, and I was happy.

The weather is unpredictable in the bay area, even on that spring day. There was rain and there were clouds, but after we made our sacred covenants in that sacred place, the sky cleared and provided us a brief break from the moisture and gave us a beautiful blue sky. We were even able to see all the way across the bay. That unexpected pause in the rain allowed us to take lots of pictures on our special day.

It was a special weekend, and it all played out (almost) as scheduled: the wedding night (=) ), the next-day reception, having our family all around, my cheesy decorations, my beautiful dress...

How are we commemorating that special day, 10 years later and 1,000 miles away? I wanted my anniversary band, but let's face it, it ain't gonna happen after our recent home purchase. Without prospects of a babysitter and with my swollen glands/sore throat, I wouldn't be surprised if we ended up at Chuck E. Cheese.

Update: He got me the ring!!!

Movie Review: Spanglish

The older I get, the more selective I am in my choice of movies. It's hard to set aside time, time that I can fully dive into a plot, without interruption or without guilt (that I should be using my time more wisely). On the other hand, my husband is a huge movie buff and watches just about everything that comes out. I absolutely have the opportunity to join him, but choose to only about 10% of the time.

Spanglish is a movie I've been wanting to see for quite some time, even though my younger brother thought it was horrible. He advised that the movie was well made, but the story was awful. So I braced myself for an unhappy ending.

I often take movies way too personally, to the point that I am completely drained of energy after watching. The character of the mom (played by Tea Leoni) really struck a nerve with me, of what NOT to be. On the brink of a mid-life-crisis and wanting to feel important, she's completely neurotic and hard to like (well done Tea Leoni). If I'm not careful, I could totally see myself turning into this. I should watch this movie once a year to correct myself as a wife and a mother.

I am a huge Adam Sandler fan and loved watching this softer side of him. I predict more and more secret crushes on him as a result of this character.

It's fun to watch Cloris Leachman and the sweetness she brings to the story. The girl that plays Sandler's daughter will make you want to reach out and squeeze her cheeks.

Though the cast (including the wonderful Paz Vega, the Hispanic housekeeper) each took a place in my heart, this movie is full of heartache, but truth. As for whether or not the movie has a happy ending or not: it gives each viewer the opportunity to figure it out for themselves.

Out respect for Sandler's character, I won't officially rate this movie. I highly recommend seeing it.