Will I Ever Be the Same?

* Warning: extreme whining to follow.

I'm tired of being tired. Sick of being sick.

And really, I'm fine. But...ugh.

In the weeks of unknown, waiting for a diagnosis for the abdominal pain, I visited several medical websites. In one case it wasn't a good idea, I was almost convinced that I had kidney cancer. Other than that it was helpful.

I've decided that I like Mayo Clinic's website best, but how pathetic am I to have even stopped by for an online visit?

Frustrated with the never-ending mono, I wandered back over again today. Some things that I read about mono are so right-on with what I'm going through, and some things that I read were of no comfort.

Mononucleosis usually isn't very serious, although the virus remains in your body for life.

Among significant complications of mononucleosis is enlargement of the spleen. In extreme cases, your spleen may rupture, causing sharp, sudden pain in the left side of your upper abdomen. If such pain occurs, seek medical attention immediately — you may need surgery.

The Epstein-Barr virus may persist in your saliva for months after the infection. So we can never share a drink. Ever.

Most signs and symptoms of mononucleosis ease within a few weeks, but it may be two to three months before you feel completely normal. The nurse told me six months because I'm anemic.

Returning to your usual schedule too soon can increase the risk of a relapse. I found out the hard way. I thought I was getting over it. Nope! Had the good-health carpet ripped out from under me on Wednesday.

Coping Skills - Mononucleosis can be a prolonged condition, keeping you at home for weeks as you recover. But be patient with your body as it fights the infection. I'm out of patience.

I took today off of work to rest. And now I want to take another day off to rest.

Square Peg(ish)

I belong to (what I assume is) a small group that doesn't like watermelon. The flavor is overwhelming and the texture is weird.

But I am great at picking out a good, flavorful watermelon (you've got to spank it, but don't be dirty) and often do purchase one and then cut it up for others to enjoy.

Watermelon is heavy and awkward, but we adapt, right?

Wrong!

Through modern technology, the much-loved watermelon is adapting to us:

This baby was grown in a box to give it a square shape so that it can sit better on a shelf. For some reason this bugs me. It seems morally wrong. Sure, scientists manipulate everything these days, but this? This is weird. Again, not a fan, but doesn't it seem that there would be a lot of rind with this? I'm just saying.

You Would Love This Job Too

I've now told this story a couple of times, and when I told David I, well, I cried.

I've mentioned this before: I spend 50% of my work time with regular-ed kids, and the other 50% with special-ed. I am so surprised at how much more I love to be with the latter.

Cody is new to me this year. He is in our special-ed Life Skills class. He is a close-talker and is very difficult to understand, sort of like his mouth is full of marbles (and saliva). But he is a good boy, with good manners and good behavior.

Cody loves BYU football. LOVES. Loves. Just about every conversation involves BYU football. All week long he is looking forward to the the next game.

On Friday his focus was only slightly different. Instead of the game, he was excited for that night's fireside put on by the BYU players.

Just before lunchtime on Friday, Cody started talking to someone that only he could see (something I had never seen him do) and started moving out the classroom door and towards the hallway. We gently tried to coax him back in, and finally the other teacher told him to just invite his friend in. Cody discussed it with the unseend friend and they agreed to come in. He turned around to all of us and said "Boys and girls, he's going to stay".

I was very amused. I asked him several times who it was, but it sounded like "Booger Booger Booger". (remember, marbles)

As we started towards the cafeteria for lunch, his conversation with "Booger" continued, and as we walked the other special-ed class joined us. Still amused, and still very baffled by who "Booger" was, I enlisted the help of another teacher.

She asked him who his friend was, and she was able to understand and then translate for me.

My heart is still in a puddle because of the answer. Cody's imaginary friend that he was in deep conversation with was Bronco Mendenhall, coach of the BYU football team.

I fought off the tears as we got closer to the cafeteria. For the remainder of the walk, this precious Cody held his hand in the air, resting on the imaginary back of his good buddy, Bronco.

During this trip through the school hallway, I also learned that Cody frequently makes imaginary phone calls to Bronco, telling him how he should prepare for the upcoming football game.

This is what keeps me going back to special-ed. After the biting, the kicking, the icky bathroom trips, it's moments of heart-puddling that brings me back.

Major Rambling

I just made a half batch of chocolate chip cookies. I am far more accustomed to doubling it.

Why just the half?

Because I don't want so much temptation lying around the house, and I can't yet give away potential extra cookies because I have the plague.

The ward now knows I have the plague.

I had my third b-12 shot tonight, along with more blood tests yesterday, so I'm feeling like a walking pin cushion. Props to the lab tech yesterday. She was awesome. Best yet.

A shout out to JP tonight. Does running a marathon really necessitate the use of a shoulder? I suppose so. Hugs and kisses. Nope! I have the plague. Just hugs.

My kids are huge. Just that. Huge.

Last night was the first time in a couple of months that I actually did something that pertained to one of my callings. Maybe I can kick it in to gear tomorrow night too.

Consider yourself lucky. You are only dealing with my air headed ramblings in print. Feel sorry for all the poor souls dealing with me face to face.

The elevator really doesn't go all the way up to the top floor.

But did it ever?

Knighting of the Counselor

I've said it once, I'll say it again: I love that I live in a world of news headlines focused on General Conference.

Did any of you hear laughing after one of the Saturday sessions?

I didn't. Even after going back over both just now.

But supposedly some people heard laughing. It's because our adorable President Hinckley has a wonderful sense of humor. I love that man.

With his cane, he symbolically and lovingly knighted his newly called second counselor, Henry B. Erying.

He officially is the most adorable man over 90. Okay, so maybe that's not a stretch.

But A Paper Umbrella In It and Call It Shampoo

The week we don't want to review? And yet I am...?

Monday: As previously mentioned, I got the official mono diagnosis and scheduled a CT Scan for persistent abdominal pain that started back in April. This pain was never really a bladder infection as diagnosed and treated for FOUR times.

Tuesday: Onset of horrendous nausea and cramping that lasted until, well, today. Picked up the stuff.

Wednesday: Consumed the stuff. The stuff is one of the things that lights up the internal organs for the CT scan. When I picked it up, the ladies in radiology told me that it was like a chalky pina colada. No. Keep in mind I was already in pain and nauseated. Before drinking it. The stuff was like swallowing pina colada scented Pantene. I choked it down while watching Private Practice and with David cheering me on.

Thursday: CT Scan. A very strange experience. The provided documentation on what's going to happen is absolutely accurate, but somehow I was still startled. The warm sensation when the iodine enters your body through the catheter in your arm, the metallic taste and then the feeling like you need to pee. Except that it felt like I was actually peeing. In my pants. But I wasn't. The pictures of my abdomen and pelvic region was quick and painless. Mostly.

Friday: I guess I should be pleased with the results: everything good, but I did have an ovarian cyst that ruptured. Very common in women. Good results. But it doesn't quite explain everything, the nausea and bloating. Whatever. I guess I need to move on.

But just in case there's any question about how crappy this week was, this afternoon I spent time on the phone with both the DMV and tech support, therefore cementing me spending the next 48 hours in bed.

Don't make me play the mono card.

So Happy to Be Sick

I have mono.

As in The Kissing Disease.

You have no idea what a huge relief this is.

Feeling the way I have, for as long as I have, wondering what was wrong. Is it all in my head?

Is it all in my head? I've asked myself that question over and over and over again.

It's not!

And even better, there's treatment. Starting today, and for the next month, I stop by the doctor's office once a week for a B-12 injection.

Hallelujah!