The Hottest Day Ever (in Utah)

Are you kidding me?

Dear Mrs. Mother Nature,

Today is the first date I've had with my husband since the 90's.

Could we please swap today's forecasted temperature for say, Tuesday or Wednesday's?

It would be greatly appreciated since our date involves sitting in the sun, unable to move to shade or to the air conditioned indoors.

Your Friend,

Me

It's A Boy - Part 2

I forgot to mention the best part of the baby shower that I went to last Saturday.

The highlight of my week!

At the shower there were (gasp) games. Remember the yarn-around-the-waist game? You know, the one where you're trying to guess how big around the expectant mom is, without insulting her.

I won! Spot on!

My piece of yarn was the EXACT measurement of the 8 month pregnant mom!

Hold on. Hold on. Don't do a cartwheel in my honor just yet.

How did I manage such precision?

The yarn was the measurement of my (non-pregnant) waist.

Sigh

Hook 'Em Up Already!

He wants to be married with children.

She wants to be married with children.

Could someone please introduce my friend John Stamos to Jennifer Aniston?

(I would, but I can't get out to L.A. My schedule is just too tight.)

It's A Boy

I just got home from a baby shower.

But let me back up and tell you that I've been experiencing a huge allergy attack (see if I ever pull weeds again) and that disgusting green stuff is oozing from my eye. Maddie says I look like Frodo.

Yes, I took the oozing eye to the baby shower. It wasn't up to being left at home.

I didn't know the expecting mom nor her sister who was throwing it. But A'Donna wanted me to come and meet them.

They were great family. Hispanic, so there was a lot of translating. Someone brought their non-English speaking mom named Judith.

Stop the presses! Hispanic? A mom named Judith?

Surreal.

California is all around me.

PS I totally loved the family. Makes me really regret my lame gift.

A Question for the Universe

Or the Allergy Gods. I'd take an answer from either.

Why oh why must my face fill with snot and my eyes run like faucets everyday at 2pm, lasting until the next morning?

It's never happened before, and I would rather it didn't.

I was able to lounge on my wonderful sofa before, but now, I have places to go and people to teach. Allergies don't fit in.

So please, Mr. Universe and Allergy God, allow me to breath on my own without running for a tissue mid-post.

PS With all that I've spent on make up, it's not very efficient to turn around and cry it off. I'm just saying.

Soccer Moms Unite

How do you spell drama?

a-n-g-r-y-p-a-r-e-n-t-s

Since we've leaved here in Eagle Mountain, our kids have gone to a school that's about 6 miles from home.

Silly, right?

This year, our subdivision gets to go to the school that's just a mile and a half away. (note: the 5th elementary school for my poor kids)

We should rejoice in the new boundaries and living so close to school, right? Wrong.

We live too close to be bussed, and it is not safe for the kids to walk.

My kids will never walk.

Why? Let's see: busy street, (active) electric fence lining the pathway, day light savings, and hello, Utah winters.

Many parents filled the school board meeting Tuesday to plead their case.

Denied.

The parents met again to strategize.

One has now taken it to the TV station.

While all of this is inconvenient and somewhat annoying, there's a big part of me that doesn't mind. For the first time, my work schedule allows me to participate in...(wait for it)... carpool.

Silly? Maybe.

My kids would rather ride the bus and squeeze in an extra few minutes of socializing.

But I'm excited to take my turn.

The Age of Duh

You remember that when Jaye would get together with her buddy Shannon when they were kids, my mom would say that together they shared a brain.

They didn't always make the best of choices.

Is Maddie at that tween age? The age of chronic 'duh'?

She's not off to a great start.

We've got two of our favorite sleep over pals here tonight, Kawika and Tiarra (Jimmy and Sarah's) and Maddie and Tiarra have been pretty bored.

They (or probably Maddie) decided that they need to wash the cars. I tried to not have an OCD moment, and just let them do their thing.

Sigh.

I asked her several times when they came in for dinner if she was sure that they rinsed off all of the soap. Yes.

Then, when cleaning the kitchen after dinner, I asked for my dish soap.

Maddie informed me that it was all gone.

It was 3/4 full upon it's kitchen departure.

It turns out that my little genius decided that the bucket of soapy water wasn't getting the cars clean enough, and that she needed to apply the soap directly to the cars.

When I went out to the cars, the ones that she assured me were properly rinsed, there was a puddle of dish soap on the hood of my car.

Sigh.

I rinsed my car pretty well, but took David's through the car wash at the corner gas station.

This is the cause of my (self-diagnosed) OCD. Other people's messes.

Settling In?

I drove back to Utah on Monday.

I hung around the house on Tuesday.

Today I ventured out with the family.

And then it hit me.

I live in Utah.

Love You, Love Your Show

Ok. My brain knows that he's gay and she's married to someone else, but my heart thinks that they are the hottest celeb couple around.

Can't you totally see her hand-in-hand with their toddler and the newborn in his arms?

(And though I am still adoring her, it appears that one or two things have been enhanced.)

And while I'm in Tinseltown, I'd like to offer all of my support to my good friend, Christina. Her and I had a rough patch (ok, I hated her during the Kelly Bundy years), but since Jesse, F*R*I*E*N*D*S, and now especially with Samantha Who?, we're old pals again.

I hope that she has a speedy recovery and that all goes well. Call me if you need some chicken noodle soup.