The students I teach on 'A' days in English and Math Tutorial are regular ed (as opposed to special). Some are excellent students wanting to have extra math help/practice, and some are just plain the bottom of the barrel.
Either way, some confide in me.
You'd be surprised.
They want to tell me about their drug experience.
Today one told me she was pregnant.
Other things they indirectly tell me. Suicide thoughts. Eating disorder. Becoming a lesbian.
The last 3 are all the same girl.
I have no problem reporting to the administrators when I feel it's necessary. You always knew I was a snitch.
But I've learned a lesson, and I've learned it early so I can really stop and wonder if teaching is really what I want to do.
I've learned about why teachers are crabby. I've learned that maybe they all set out with the same (or similar) intent as me: be there for the students, and to be that one teacher who will make a difference. You know, be The One.
But, I'm quickly finding out that sticking your neck out for these fickle kids quickly gets the teacher burned.
'Brandy' wasn't too happy with me after her counselor told her that I reported her for looking up suicide notes on the internet in my class. I was sick all weekend with worry that she was going to 'do' something. But her and mom assured the counselor that she was just fine. Really? Fine? I have yet to tell any of them that she's a starving lesbian.
It's hard not to love these kids, especially because there's a lot of days that I come home hating them.
But they want someone to care. They want someone to go to bat for them. They want to be loved.
Either that or I'm being completely snowed.
I guess one of the classes I need to take in college is "Teacher Turn Off Your Heart" and "Teacher Know When To Draw the Line".
1 comment:
Its similar to the "detachment" doctors have to learn. It's hard to treat a patient that your heart is so attached to.
It's so hard...
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