Warning: venting post. Just venting. Not seeking sympathy.
Oh. And I've probably vented about this before.
I have been feeling pretty good lately (knock on wood). I feel like myself.
Every now and then, (still) someone will say something, that makes me feel like they're taking a jab at me. Hopefully not, it may be that I'm just ultra-sensitive, but it sure feels like some people are trying to get their digs in.
I have found that only people who have had mono get it. And by 'get it' I mean understand how miserable it is. By the time mono was diagnosed, I thought I was losing my mind. What is causing me to feel this way? Also by the time it was diagnosed, my test showed that my 'levels' were high.
Mono is not about just being tired. In my case it was about being so dysfunctional-ly exhausted that I had nothing. So much nothing that I couldn't care about what I was missing out on.
It was NEVER a crutch to get me out of obligations and responsibilities (which is where I'm sensitive to other people's digs). But it sure 'got me out of' a lot of good Sunday dinners with Sandy and fun outings with David and the kids. I missed out on a lot.
I worked every day; how well I worked is another story. But I went every day, came home and went to bed. Got up to fix dinner and clean up. Went back to bed. And stayed there.
I remember a lot of times when I would go over homework with the kids: in my bed. I also remember a lot of times when I was too tired to move, couldn't sleep, and just stared at the wall because I didn't have the focus to watch TV or read a book.
I didn't have the sore throat/strep that others get typically. But oh, the nausea; and let's not forget the intestinal issues and tests last fall. (if ever you are preparing for a cat scan and have to drink 'the stuff', you know that junk that tastes like pina colada shampoo, call me and I'll be your cheerleader) Since you've followed me down this venting path, I might as well mention the nuclear test, the one where I had to eat radio-active eggs so the doctors could see my guts. Sigh.
Then, after 9 months of mono, and after surviving (sort of) the school year, oops! Concussion. Back to the couch.
It's been a strange year. Really strange. And in many ways a learning experience. I hope that I've learned to be sympathetic/kind/compassionate to others with random ailments. I've also learned that when I get that burst of energy, I've got to make the most of it.
Which reminds me... I've got some laundry staring me in the face.
4 comments:
Jess, I KNOW what you mean. I had Mono and while I wasn't an adult and did not have the responsibilities that you have I remeber it was miserable and I remember thinking I could not walk from the couch to the bathroom it was too far. I didn't even know you have it. So Sorry.
Erin
I really am sorry that mono sucks. No really, I am.
(And yes, that means I'm sorry that you have it.)
My dear sweet sister gave me the mono when I was a senior in high school--the things sisters share. It was miserable, seriously. I was working with you at CPU then, do you remember me being a little wacky? OK--wackier than usual? I'm sorry that it's stinky. Actually, I don't think I've ever recovered fully...or wait, maybe the 4 children have something to do with that. Who know's! Hope you feel back to normal soon!
Jody
I had Mono when I was 16. I started working at Burger Kind and 2 weeks into my new job I thought I was just exhausted from stress and working. Some guy walks in and orders his food, I gave him his total and he hands me a hundred dollar bill and I passed out. like cold, hit the floor. It's funny... now. I went to the Dr. and sure enough had mono. It does suck, I agree wholeheartedly. Don't let the cold weather eat at you either. I wish we had some signs of winter. Just be glad your kids aren't like some of those deprived CA kids that have never seen snow. (Isn't that ridiculous?) Make a snowman and drink some hot chocolate. Love ya, and sorry I missed ya this last visit.
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