Not My Usual Posting Hour

It's 2:12 am.

I've started a load of laundry, and folded a load of towels. I put the last few dessert plates in the dishwasher and ran it. I've looked at Sarah's latest pictures. And here I am.

Yesterday, which still feels like today, was busy. I won't bore you with details. By 7:45 I couldn't hold my eyes open any longer. I went to bed and crashed. Hard. Hence the unfinished evening chores.

But now! I'm very awake. Add in cramping and acid reflux, and we'll have a party.

About 10 days ago I had another test. I ate radioactive scrambled eggs (prepared in a microwave, ugh) and a big glass of orange juice, and then 'they' watched my digestion, looking for delay.

They found it. And since the diagnosis was given over the phone by the nurse, everything I know about Gastroparesis is what I've found on the internet.

My stomach delays digestion, because the Vagus nerve has been damaged, probably because of my blood sugar issues.

Last weekend I started another prescription, this one not covered by insurance, and only carried at some little out-of-the-way pharmacy in Provo, ringing up at $54.

Domperidone is supposed to tell my stomach to digest, and has some glamorous side effects. I'm happy to report that so far, so good. But domperidone is often used to help nursing women lactate. Lucky me. But no, I am not producing milk. Yet.

Is this the conclusion of months of tests and achy gut? I don't know. A friend in my ward is trying to convince me that I need more tests.

I wake up at 3am every morning. Every now and then I go right back to sleep. Rarely.

I hate to think of the ramblings that might show up here if there are any more 3am postings.

Returning to the World of Literature

When I was younger, I was a reader.

When I was 10(ish) to 13, I remember reading everything and anything, some age-appropriate, some not. I loved the Ramona books, the Judy Blume books, and the Little House on the Prairie books, and eventually the teeny-bopper books.

I quickly moved on to more advanced books. Cannery Row, The Good Earth, Lord of the Flies, Animal Farm, (ahem) Thorn Birds, just to name a few. Somewhere in there was Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn.

Since then: zero. Nada. Zilch. Nothing.

Okay, maybe a couple of books, but no more than a few.

You know how it is when you're a wife and mom, there's no time. For anything.

The once or twice that I did get in to a book, all else ceased to exist around me until I'd read the entire book. House work waited, the kids had to fend for themselves. Not too fair to the little ones.

Isaac had a book report due this Thursday (my birthday, of all days, lucky me). Picking out the book was a chore, and was put off until the last minute. It had to be fairy-tale or fantasy, but never made in to a movie. When I suggested one book that resides in our collection, he said "No! That's Realistic Fiction."

I finally found one that qualified: The Magician's Nephew, which is the first in the Narnia series. With much nagging from mom, he was able to get through it in about 6 days.

I decided that since a poster and puppets were to be turned in for this project, I should know our material, and I started the first book I'd read in a long time.

I'm surprised, but pleased to say that I finished the book today. I wasn't terribly thrilled with the first half, but loved the second. If these Narnia books really are Christian-based, there are some touching moments in this story.

What next? Should I FINALLY take on the Harry Potter series? Should I continue with Narnia? I have been dabbling in (and should finish) 7 Habits/Teenagers (which I highly recommend).

There are the two 'red' classics that I've never gotten to: Where the Red Fern Grows and Red Badge of Courage. Maybe I'll start with those.

One thing for sure: no Shakespeare.

T Minus 26

The arrangements have been made. We're coming home for Christmas.

In 26 days.

And it's going to be a long 26 days.

As I go about life here in Utah, 600 miles from home, I keep my guard way up. It's a requirement. I have to fight off the homesickness.

But now, after surviving the arrival of a new nephew two states away, and after surviving yet another Thanksgiving away from all of you, I need to get through the next 26 days.

I can tell my heart is softening. I got teary during the intermediate hymn during Sacrament meeting. It's one that gets stuck in my dad's head and he sings it around the house for a couple of days straight.

My kids are homesick too. Every conversation revolves around Grammy. And I think Maddie and Paige are up to 4 phone calls a day.

Inevitably, December will fill up. It always does. Maddie has a choir concert on the 5th. The ward party with cook-off is the 14th.

I will have distractions. Other things will help me to not dwell on home.

But home will be the biggest distraction of all.

Spending the Holidays With Friends

I hope you've had a great Thanksgiving!

I'm still full, but I could totally go for some more stuffing, turkey, gravy, and mashed potatoes. It's not even about the pumpkin pie anymore. I should have had Seconds for dessert. But let's face it, it wouldn't be Seconds. More like Twenty-Seconds.

Gone are the days of the fabulous Thanksgiving episodes of F*R*I*E*N*D*S to help us digest our turkey, except in the world of re-runs. God bless re-runs.

In honor of the beloved Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, Joey and Ross, some of my favorite Thanksgiving lines (in no particular order):

"Please don't fire me for doing this."

"You've got Nevada twice." "I know."

"Joey, those are my maternity pants."

"This turkey is my Everest."

Hands down, best ever: "Take off your shirt and tell us."

He's Here!

But I'm not.

Mister Elijah arrived yesterday, only 20 minutes after his mom got to the hospital.

It's rough...trying to do this long distance. But I totally call Shotgun on the baby for December 23(ish) through January 7.

Under My Skin

Why am I so bugged?

Everyone is on my nerves. Except you, of course.

I'm just.......bugged.

Students. Co-workers. People. Utah drivers.

Bugged.

I don't like feeling like this. I don't set out to find other people's faults. I have plenty of my own. So why does it feel like there's so much around me?

Is it the holidays? Probably.

Is it the weather? Dunno.

Is it because I can't come home this week? A little.

Is it the gas prices? Surely.

I guess it's also because I'm feeling better enough to care and notice what's happening around me. Maybe it's because now I'm feeling up to dealing with some things, but not all of it.

So, as I've worked through this here on the page, it turns out that I'm not really bugged with the world, I'm bugged with myself and the things I need to change, fix, clean, accomplish, buy, etc.

Apparently Anxiety is the next level after Bugged.

With Gas Back Up Over $3/Gallon...

Is it just me or when seeing the grand total after filling up your gas tank do you think 'that could have been a pair of jeans'?

Babies Having Babies

Students are milling through the halls with babies. Assignments in Child Care and/or Adult Roles require that both boys and girls carry baby dolls around. So far they appear to just be dolls brought from home, not the mechanical robot dolls that you might have seen.

A girl that is in my English class and in one of my math classes is carrying around a doll for her Child Care class.

I watched her with her baby yesterday. She held it like it was real and must have wrapped and rewrapped the blanket 100 times.

At one point she asked if I wanted to hold it. No thanks. I'm good.

BTW, she's a high school junior.

One of the times she rewrapped the blanket, she was finally content with the outcome, the baby's head was completely covered. That way, according to her, no one in the halls would know that it wasn't real.

I couldn't hold it in. "Half the student body is carrying them. I think they're on to you."

BFF? In Hollywood?

Have you been watching Samantha Who?

I have. But let me back up.

I hated the "Kelly Bundy" character. Hated. Really hated.

But in the last few years, I have grown pretty fond of Christina Applegate. Her show Jesse was cute. And it was fun to have her on F*R*I*E*N*D*S. It's a shame that I didn't get to see her on Broadway.

I digress.

The cute-as-a-button Sookie from Gilmore Girls is the sugary sweet sidekick on Samantha Who?.

I am thrilled to have her there, and am happy for Melissa McCarthy to have moved on to another show.

But it kind of feels like she's cheating on Lorelai.

They really should have brought her along.

A Couple of Kodak Moments

Now that I'm catching up on life, it's time to catch up on picture posting...

Especially for Bampa:

I'm dying to get back out to this little, poverty-ridden mining town out in the middle of nowhere. It was snowing when we passed through, so I had no takers for posing in the cold. I'll be back in the spring.

Isaac is so excited to be a Boy Scout. Blame it on the mono, it took for ever for us to get his first merit badge. David's going to kill me.

Isaac got bored during breakfast on Sunday. What you don't see on the top is my car key and two gift cards.

Notice those week-old scabs on his forehead? Little boys should watch for brick walls when running for a football pass.

This is the cat's Rush Hour Perch. We live towards the mouth of the subdivision, and every night, as the cars stream in after work, the headlights shine in through the window and bounce around on the wall. Kitty waits and then... Attacks!

Kitty is still pretty psycho. Do you suppose it's something I'm doing?

Moving On...

The students I teach on 'A' days in English and Math Tutorial are regular ed (as opposed to special). Some are excellent students wanting to have extra math help/practice, and some are just plain the bottom of the barrel.

Either way, some confide in me.

You'd be surprised.

They want to tell me about their drug experience.

Today one told me she was pregnant.

Other things they indirectly tell me. Suicide thoughts. Eating disorder. Becoming a lesbian.

The last 3 are all the same girl.

I have no problem reporting to the administrators when I feel it's necessary. You always knew I was a snitch.

But I've learned a lesson, and I've learned it early so I can really stop and wonder if teaching is really what I want to do.

I've learned about why teachers are crabby. I've learned that maybe they all set out with the same (or similar) intent as me: be there for the students, and to be that one teacher who will make a difference. You know, be The One.

But, I'm quickly finding out that sticking your neck out for these fickle kids quickly gets the teacher burned.

'Brandy' wasn't too happy with me after her counselor told her that I reported her for looking up suicide notes on the internet in my class. I was sick all weekend with worry that she was going to 'do' something. But her and mom assured the counselor that she was just fine. Really? Fine? I have yet to tell any of them that she's a starving lesbian.

It's hard not to love these kids, especially because there's a lot of days that I come home hating them.

But they want someone to care. They want someone to go to bat for them. They want to be loved.

Either that or I'm being completely snowed.

I guess one of the classes I need to take in college is "Teacher Turn Off Your Heart" and "Teacher Know When To Draw the Line".

A Little More Whining

I'm crossing my fingers and knocking on wood, but there are a few signs that I am getting better.

1.) While I kept up with cooking dinner (and clean up afterward) all along, I dropped the ball when it came to the area of vegetables. Okay, we went through a lot of canned green beans. But tonight, we are fresh. A green salad is waiting for us.

2.) Sunday morning, with help from day light saving, I made bread, scrubbed the kitchen and then got ready for church, though my hair looked awful. For the last several Sundays I've been in bed until the last possible minute.

3.) Did you ever lose a taste for something you love, like when you were pregnant? With both of my pregnancies I lost a taste for Taco Bell (hard to believe), but immediately regained my obsession as soon as those babies were on the outside of my body. With this mono business, I've lost a taste for (gasp) peanut butter, something I love and heavily depend on for protein. But yesterday after school, again a small sign that I'm getting better, I made myself the yummiest peanut butter and jelly sandwich ever.

There are other signs of good health, like staying awake. And the nausea hasn't been quite so bad. Even as recent as Sunday I was convinced that I would never be healthy again. My attitude has definetly been glass half empty, hopefully just a passing symptom.

But I hold on to hope of the glass filling up again.

Will I Ever Be the Same?

* Warning: extreme whining to follow.

I'm tired of being tired. Sick of being sick.

And really, I'm fine. But...ugh.

In the weeks of unknown, waiting for a diagnosis for the abdominal pain, I visited several medical websites. In one case it wasn't a good idea, I was almost convinced that I had kidney cancer. Other than that it was helpful.

I've decided that I like Mayo Clinic's website best, but how pathetic am I to have even stopped by for an online visit?

Frustrated with the never-ending mono, I wandered back over again today. Some things that I read about mono are so right-on with what I'm going through, and some things that I read were of no comfort.

Mononucleosis usually isn't very serious, although the virus remains in your body for life.

Among significant complications of mononucleosis is enlargement of the spleen. In extreme cases, your spleen may rupture, causing sharp, sudden pain in the left side of your upper abdomen. If such pain occurs, seek medical attention immediately — you may need surgery.

The Epstein-Barr virus may persist in your saliva for months after the infection. So we can never share a drink. Ever.

Most signs and symptoms of mononucleosis ease within a few weeks, but it may be two to three months before you feel completely normal. The nurse told me six months because I'm anemic.

Returning to your usual schedule too soon can increase the risk of a relapse. I found out the hard way. I thought I was getting over it. Nope! Had the good-health carpet ripped out from under me on Wednesday.

Coping Skills - Mononucleosis can be a prolonged condition, keeping you at home for weeks as you recover. But be patient with your body as it fights the infection. I'm out of patience.

I took today off of work to rest. And now I want to take another day off to rest.

Square Peg(ish)

I belong to (what I assume is) a small group that doesn't like watermelon. The flavor is overwhelming and the texture is weird.

But I am great at picking out a good, flavorful watermelon (you've got to spank it, but don't be dirty) and often do purchase one and then cut it up for others to enjoy.

Watermelon is heavy and awkward, but we adapt, right?

Wrong!

Through modern technology, the much-loved watermelon is adapting to us:

This baby was grown in a box to give it a square shape so that it can sit better on a shelf. For some reason this bugs me. It seems morally wrong. Sure, scientists manipulate everything these days, but this? This is weird. Again, not a fan, but doesn't it seem that there would be a lot of rind with this? I'm just saying.

You Would Love This Job Too

I've now told this story a couple of times, and when I told David I, well, I cried.

I've mentioned this before: I spend 50% of my work time with regular-ed kids, and the other 50% with special-ed. I am so surprised at how much more I love to be with the latter.

Cody is new to me this year. He is in our special-ed Life Skills class. He is a close-talker and is very difficult to understand, sort of like his mouth is full of marbles (and saliva). But he is a good boy, with good manners and good behavior.

Cody loves BYU football. LOVES. Loves. Just about every conversation involves BYU football. All week long he is looking forward to the the next game.

On Friday his focus was only slightly different. Instead of the game, he was excited for that night's fireside put on by the BYU players.

Just before lunchtime on Friday, Cody started talking to someone that only he could see (something I had never seen him do) and started moving out the classroom door and towards the hallway. We gently tried to coax him back in, and finally the other teacher told him to just invite his friend in. Cody discussed it with the unseend friend and they agreed to come in. He turned around to all of us and said "Boys and girls, he's going to stay".

I was very amused. I asked him several times who it was, but it sounded like "Booger Booger Booger". (remember, marbles)

As we started towards the cafeteria for lunch, his conversation with "Booger" continued, and as we walked the other special-ed class joined us. Still amused, and still very baffled by who "Booger" was, I enlisted the help of another teacher.

She asked him who his friend was, and she was able to understand and then translate for me.

My heart is still in a puddle because of the answer. Cody's imaginary friend that he was in deep conversation with was Bronco Mendenhall, coach of the BYU football team.

I fought off the tears as we got closer to the cafeteria. For the remainder of the walk, this precious Cody held his hand in the air, resting on the imaginary back of his good buddy, Bronco.

During this trip through the school hallway, I also learned that Cody frequently makes imaginary phone calls to Bronco, telling him how he should prepare for the upcoming football game.

This is what keeps me going back to special-ed. After the biting, the kicking, the icky bathroom trips, it's moments of heart-puddling that brings me back.

Major Rambling

I just made a half batch of chocolate chip cookies. I am far more accustomed to doubling it.

Why just the half?

Because I don't want so much temptation lying around the house, and I can't yet give away potential extra cookies because I have the plague.

The ward now knows I have the plague.

I had my third b-12 shot tonight, along with more blood tests yesterday, so I'm feeling like a walking pin cushion. Props to the lab tech yesterday. She was awesome. Best yet.

A shout out to JP tonight. Does running a marathon really necessitate the use of a shoulder? I suppose so. Hugs and kisses. Nope! I have the plague. Just hugs.

My kids are huge. Just that. Huge.

Last night was the first time in a couple of months that I actually did something that pertained to one of my callings. Maybe I can kick it in to gear tomorrow night too.

Consider yourself lucky. You are only dealing with my air headed ramblings in print. Feel sorry for all the poor souls dealing with me face to face.

The elevator really doesn't go all the way up to the top floor.

But did it ever?

Knighting of the Counselor

I've said it once, I'll say it again: I love that I live in a world of news headlines focused on General Conference.

Did any of you hear laughing after one of the Saturday sessions?

I didn't. Even after going back over both just now.

But supposedly some people heard laughing. It's because our adorable President Hinckley has a wonderful sense of humor. I love that man.

With his cane, he symbolically and lovingly knighted his newly called second counselor, Henry B. Erying.

He officially is the most adorable man over 90. Okay, so maybe that's not a stretch.

But A Paper Umbrella In It and Call It Shampoo

The week we don't want to review? And yet I am...?

Monday: As previously mentioned, I got the official mono diagnosis and scheduled a CT Scan for persistent abdominal pain that started back in April. This pain was never really a bladder infection as diagnosed and treated for FOUR times.

Tuesday: Onset of horrendous nausea and cramping that lasted until, well, today. Picked up the stuff.

Wednesday: Consumed the stuff. The stuff is one of the things that lights up the internal organs for the CT scan. When I picked it up, the ladies in radiology told me that it was like a chalky pina colada. No. Keep in mind I was already in pain and nauseated. Before drinking it. The stuff was like swallowing pina colada scented Pantene. I choked it down while watching Private Practice and with David cheering me on.

Thursday: CT Scan. A very strange experience. The provided documentation on what's going to happen is absolutely accurate, but somehow I was still startled. The warm sensation when the iodine enters your body through the catheter in your arm, the metallic taste and then the feeling like you need to pee. Except that it felt like I was actually peeing. In my pants. But I wasn't. The pictures of my abdomen and pelvic region was quick and painless. Mostly.

Friday: I guess I should be pleased with the results: everything good, but I did have an ovarian cyst that ruptured. Very common in women. Good results. But it doesn't quite explain everything, the nausea and bloating. Whatever. I guess I need to move on.

But just in case there's any question about how crappy this week was, this afternoon I spent time on the phone with both the DMV and tech support, therefore cementing me spending the next 48 hours in bed.

Don't make me play the mono card.

So Happy to Be Sick

I have mono.

As in The Kissing Disease.

You have no idea what a huge relief this is.

Feeling the way I have, for as long as I have, wondering what was wrong. Is it all in my head?

Is it all in my head? I've asked myself that question over and over and over again.

It's not!

And even better, there's treatment. Starting today, and for the next month, I stop by the doctor's office once a week for a B-12 injection.

Hallelujah!

What Did We Watch?

Not a whole lot.

Private Practice. It was good. But after watching the distraught woman crawl around on the department store floor, trying to cope with the loss of her little boy, I just about pulled Isaac out of bed for hugs and kisses.

Grey's Anatomy. I'm unsettled. I enjoyed watching my favorite doctors, but I'm afraid that the carpet is going to be yanked out from under us, the loyal viewers. They're going to sock it to us. Deal us a low blow. Things went too well. Part of me half-way expected Burke to show up, that the rumored firing was just a publicity stunt. Stranger things have happened.

I wish I would have watched The Office. But I felt like I wouldn't have been able to catch up.

Even though I had watched several episodes of my recorded Ugly Betty episodes from last year in attempt to bring myself up to speed, I just couldn't watch their season premiere. Watching someone get picked on, even if she comes out on top in the end, just makes me squirm.

I missed the new Fox show with Kelsey Grammer and Patty Heaton. I'll need to set a timer for that one. It looks like it could be fun.

I didn't see Scrubs on the menu. Maybe next week. I am very much looking forward to it.

Meanwhile, we have several Showtime channels for a few days. Maybe something good will turn up there.

What's On Tonight?

For the first time (literally) in my life, I am not dancing in anticipation of the new fall TV season.

I'm such a TV junky. I (usually) love it.

But now, well. Not so much.

When I was young, the new season didn't just mean change and growth for my favorite TV characters, but also the fascination with 'what's their new opening theme going to be?'.

As years went on, it was the resolution to the now-common season ending cliff hanger. Especially once F*R*I*E*N*D*S rolled around. Ross and Rachel? Monica and Chandler? Joey and Rachel? Is Rachel really pregnant? These questions literally hung in a cloud over my head all summer.

Last fall I was pretty anxious to find out if life would go on for Izzy after the death of everyone's beloved Denny.

But this year? I dunno.

I am looking forward to Grey's starting, but I'm annoyed with the Meredith's-sister plot. And it appears that they're going to continue taunting us with the Izzy-George-Callie triangle, and are throwing in a possible pregnancy. Ugh.

I guess I'm kind of in to the Grey's spinoff with Dr. Shephard.

Many, my husband included, are SO excited for Heroes and House and probably even 24 to start. Blah.

I've completely lost interest in ER, though the addition of John Stamos should have brought me back. Should have.

It appears that Studio 60 isn't coming back, which does break my heart. THAT was good stuff.

My boycott of Gilmore Girls last year because of Luke and Lorelai's breakup was obviously in vain. I wish IT was coming back, that could definetly fill a void in my TV heart.

It's too late for me to start watching The Office. Too much catching up.

I annoy myself with my (closet) like for 2 1/2 Men. It's a bit much, and really? Charlie Sheen? But it is funny. And who can go wrong with John "Duckie" Cryer?

I am grateful to my Scrubs. Their childish humor does warm my heart. (No) thanks to David for deleting my Scrubs the Musical.

David announced to me last night that him and Maddie, after years of my snubbing, are in to Survivor China. Barf.

If I'm not careful, I might find myself sitting around watching (gasp!) Deal or No Deal. I do love the Howie.

Student Life

I have students. Some in Special Ed. Some in the math and English classes. I have students.

I have observations.

Like the special ed student who looks like a Weeble. Does he wobble? Yes. And he also wears nylon gym shorts pulled up to his armpits. Every now and then he gets in a mood. Of the affectionate sort. He gets a look on his face, something like the guy in the sports jacket with his shirt unbuttoned enough to show his chest hair and wears big gold chains. Okay, not really. But when he wants some lovin' he all but knocks you over. In the name of "hugging" me the other day, he totally copped a feel. For all to see. Needless to say, since then I try to stay on opposite sides of the classroom from him.

One of my favorite special ed students, a beautiful, petite black girl with a gorgeous smile, has problems with hygiene and often smells like B.O. Now in my second year of working with her, it appears that she is binding her chest. She wears layers upon layers of shirts and things are bunched up and just not right. I can only imagine why.

Along with the observations, I am surprised at what the students share with me.

One of my regular-ed students casually told me that her mom suffers from multiple personality disorder.

Another student's dad has Asperger syndrome.

These kids have so much to deal with, as if surviving high school isn't tough enough.

On the other hand, the girl that I hated after the first day of school is no longer in my class. I am part thrilled, but part not. Some obsessive side of me thought I could help her. Now I feel like I've given up.

But still part thrilled.

Our Little Soccer Star

Sort of.

This one makes me giggle.

Timing Is Everything

It truly is.

I always hope that I'll bump into a friend. Not just someone from the ward, though that's usually fun, but a long lost soul, someone I haven't seen in forever.

However, I've stacked the deck against myself living all the way out here.

It almost didn't happen.

If my plans didn't change in the middle of the grocery store, that phone call causing me stop and walk out empty handed...

And if she hadn't smiled and stopped me in the parking lot, I would have kept on walking, not noticing this cute, pregnant, familiar person.

Girls, it was Julie Powell! Granted, she was my sisters' friend, but I'll take whatever long lost friend I can get!

Even better, she lives a mile away. IN MY STAKE! Which, you know, says a lot in Utah.

She's lived out here for 2 years, has a girl and a boy and another boy on the way. She's beautiful and sweet and a exudes warmth and kindness.

I really can't get over the timing of it all and how close we live to each other.

We exchanged phone numbers, and hopefully we'll bump in to each other again soon.

Things Could Be Worse

The secret may or may not be out: I've been a little blue.

Things just aren't going my way...David and I didn't quite save enough to cover me not getting a paycheck for 3 months; my job(s) aren't as wonderful as I'd hoped; I've been dealing with what is apparently a chronic health problem; on top of that I've caught a cold; then there's always the death of my flat iron. I'm still in mourning. Not to mention the guilt of a broken promise to my mom that we'd be there to visit mid-August.

It's amazing how someone else, even a stranger can put things in perspective. "Oh, maybe things aren't quite so bad." Perspective.

Like the missing BYU student, the horrendous trapped miner saga, etc.

Yesterday I made my way to the pharmacy for another round of antibiotics and as I walked in, a couple walked in just a few steps ahead of me.

The man had either been involved in a horrific accident, or someone had taken a baseball bat to his body. One arm was in a sling, a blue bandage wrapped around his entire head covering his ears, both eyes were bloody (you know, the whites) and were swollen nearly shut, his mouth was wired shut so I'm not sure how many teeth he was missing, and his bandaged nose was obviously broken, the racooon circles under both eyes were a direct indication.

He was a spectacle. At different intervals all of the pharmacy staff stared, but tried not to.

This man had been through a lot.

Seeing this man, who tried to act normal and functional, put things in perspective for me.

And reminded me that things could always be worse.

And maybe it's not so bad.

Light a Candle & Say a Prayer

Tragic and untimely: my flat iron died. A moment of silence please.

A Kodak Moment?

I am constantly amazed and inspired by Sarah's work. With my wimpy little camera I try to apply what I learn from her.

Jordan and Melissa were out this weekend so she could find a modest wedding dress (did I ever mention their engagement?).

They thought I was nuts when I drove them out to the middle of nowhere to shoot them, err, with my camera.

I'm Just the Giddy Big Sister

I am really excited for Jill and Sarah and their fabulous afternoon at the fair.

Good job to both. I can't stop watching the slideshow.

Good News!

I taught today and for the first time since the school year began (ok, just last week), I didn't come home with what felt like an ice pick driven into my forehead.

In other words, today wasn't too bad.

And even better, I'm official. My classes have been uploaded and I can do important things like take attendance.

But on the flip side, today was also picture day, and it required three takes before my happy little portrait was even presentable. Barf.

Happy Birthday, Grandma J!

Back home this weekend was birthdays, birthdays everywhere. I celebrated from afar.

Today is Grandma J's 96th birthday. Yes folks, 96. My 50-year-old dad still has his grandmother here.

She's amazing, and she's wonderful and I wish that we were in the same state.

Happy Birthday, Corbin!

Not Your Coleman Variety

I love that the tent-shirt is in. Love it. I love hiding under it.

Meet my new favorite shirt...

AND (and!) guess what! It's got just a wee bit of stretch.

It's the little things that keep me going.

Back to School, Part 2

I'm really trying to give you the RD Condensed version...

I answer to many people at work. Heck, I answer to many people when I'm not at work.

But at work I (ultimately) have two bosses. Lisa represents the program that funds my teaching, and John is one of the assistant principals. Both are wonderful.

After a very overwhelming 1st day, and a close-to overwhelming 2nd day, both bosses are working on getting my class to a normal size. It's very difficult to take the road of squeaky wheel. I want help and attention to the situation, but of course I don't want to seem wimpy, incapable and whiny.

Problem is that most of the other classes in the school are also jam-packed, and the school counselors are just dumping these extras in to my classes.

Some of these kids are angels, some full of personality, some charming, but some are down right obnoxious and I wouldn't mind if they never came back.

Tomorrow I get to make a phone call home to a parent in hopes that they will have a conversation with their daughter about what is appropriate to talk about in class. I opted to not hold this conversation while I was upset with daughter today. Let's hope that I can cool off enough between now and then.

Tomorrow is my day in special ed. Will it be easier? In some ways. Was yesterday in special ed easier? In some ways.

Either way, it's Friday. A much needed Friday.

Back To School (Only If I Have To)

These two grown kids and I headed back to school today; Maddie in 5th grade, Isaac in 3rd and me in hell.

Last year (my first) was maybe a little too sugar-coated. I worked in special ed with a great teacher, whom I learned A LOT from, I fell in love my little special ed students, and the regular ed students that I got to work with were absolute angels.

This year I will be dividing my time between special ed, and having my own classroom as a math and English tutor.

So far, the math and English students that I teach are making special ed look easy.

What was I thinking? AND Is it possible to hate someone after spending just one class period with them?

Of course, when I go to special ed tomorrow it could be horrible too. Last year's teacher moved and the new one has never taught before. I may been in for it. Again.

Just in case my plate wasn't full enough today, Aunt Flo showed up between 2nd and 3rd period. Seven minutes might be enough to get you from Geometry to P.E., but it's not quite enough time to deal with unexpected feminine issues. Lucky me.

If it hadn't been for the heart-warming start of my school day, I wouldn't have survived. On my way to my classroom, I stopped by special ed. Elisabeth and her wonderful mom were there, and that sweet girl, who I missed all summer long, was happy to see me, and even noticed my hair cut. I'm happy to report that her and I get to be together all day tomorrow, and even if she has a bad day, she'll still be more pleasant than a handful of my regular ed students that I had today.

(I hope I didn't just jinx tomorrow)

Wait, before I'm done barfing out today's events, the school's computer system had my class-size-limit at 32. There's only 15 desks in my room. Three out of my four classes are at 20 students. We're shoulder to shoulder in there. I shudder to think of how full classes would have gotten if my wheel hadn't squeaked. The system has been corrected, but not until we're full. Stuffed. Maxed out.

Okay. The verbal vomitting is stopping. For now.

We're All In This Together

Were you part of the record-setting audience that watched High School Musical 2 on Friday night?

I was, and I haven't even seen all of the first one yet.

With tons of popcorn and chocolate chip cookies on hand, we had quite the audience, which (I must point out) had more boys than girls. But the girls still did plenty of squealing and screaming at the end when the beloved HSM2 couple had their long-awaited first kiss.

And the kids have been singing ever since...this afternoon I was on the phone making adjustments to my cell phone service and the guy wanted to know what my kids were singing. He knew the movie. He knew the songs. Heck, you'd have to live under a rock to not know.

Happy Birthday, Paige!

Oh, how I wish we were there to celebrate with you. Tonight we'll be holding a HSM2 party in your honor.

I'm pretty sure that you're the most photogenic kid on the planet.

PS Your gift will be late because your lame aunt put said gift in the online cart but forgot to complete the transaction.

Start Your Engines

Tonight was our first Pine Wood Derby, and, with the talent that only I possess, open mouth - insert foot.

To my dear friend A'Donna, I commented that tonight's Pine Wood Derby seemed to be more organized than last year's. Before the sentence was all the way out of my mouth, I could feel my face turn red. A'Donna was in charge last year. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Other than that, it was a fun evening, in spite of technical difficulties. Isaac seemed to have broken the K. curse and, unlike my brothers, was able to keep his car out of last place. And thank goodness, because I'm just not sure if his poor, competitive heart could have taken it.

Happy Birthday, Mom!

You don't look a day over 39.

Maybe I Am Ready For School To Start

I didn't think I wanted the kids to get back to school, because when they go, I go. And there goes all of my wonderful laziness.

THIS is my kitchen table:

With all of their 10-year-old GIRL logic, they thought that this was the best way to hide from the boys. Well my 32-year-old logic thinks that Maddie's bedroom would have been a more appropriate place to hide.

They need to go back to school. I need them to go back to school.

I Need a Shower

A couple of my favorite childhood memories are watching the Perseid Meteor Shower with my cousin Derrick.

I don't know if I'd go so far to say it was a tradition, but at least twice him and I ended up together to watch "falling stars".

One night him and I laid out sleeping bags on their front lawn at their Orangevale house and, armed with flashlights, spent the night flat on our backs watching the lights in the sky.

But the best nighttime show was when we slept out on the deck next to the pond behind their house in Ophir, because without all the city lights the stars were so bright it seemed like we could reach out and grab them. Of course, EVERY time we slept on the deck the dogs would take off with one or both of my shoes.

As if to signal the end of my summer, Sunday night is this year's Perseid Meteor Shower. I'm trying to come up with some way the kids and I could safely watch. David is set to work overnight, and it just doesn't seem like a good idea for us to venture out in the the desert without him, especially late at night.

There is absolutely no hope of us seeing even one falling star from home (even though 60 per hour are expected) because of all the street lights. The best viewing conditions are going to require a pretty long drive. I hope I don't chicken out.

The Simple Life?

There are many things about this crazy state of Utah that I love. It's a funny, funny place.

I've mentioned some of these fun things before, like watching high school students carry scriptures around campus, or being able to find LDS literature in Wal*Mart. Even after a year (one year this week) I am still fascinated.

Tonight I walked Maddie down the street to a sleep over at nearly 10:00. Walk, not drive, because we're all right here in our cozy little subdivision that shares the same name as our ward.

I visited with the hosting mom for a few minutes, and then headed home alone, stopping to visit more, this time with the R.S. president and her counselor holding a little meeting in a parked car. We chatted as if we were old friends and also as if it wasn't unusual to meet each other on the street at 10pm.

I love this funny little lifestyle. Sure people drop in when the house might not be 100% presentable, but who cares if they see the toy guns and toy knives lying around the living room. All the neighborhood kids know that the cache is in my piano bench. A couple of them all but walk in and help themselves.

It's fun, more so than I expected.

(slight change of gears) I excused myself from my late night chat with my R.S. sisters because I dare not miss the Barry Bonds homerun. Alas, I did miss it. But thanks to the DVR gods, David was able to back it up and show me the much anticipated, highly scruntinized, controversial event: Homerun #756. I hope you and yours were able to enjoy it as well.

Thanks, Dear

I can't sleep.

Thank goodness I live in the land of DVR and I have my trusty ol' Jay Leno to help take my mind off of things. I'll be counting Zzz's in no time.

But no. Where's Jay? He's been skipped to make room for the Giants game. Because Heaven help us if Bonds hits homerun #756 and we miss it!

PS Not to mention tonight was Headlines.

What is the Fascination With Train Wrecks?

Really, I don't watch that much TV.

But every now and then, I must sink to some low. It's like I lose my mind and my better judgement.

I did take in a couple of episodes of Nick and Jessica. I watched more than a few episodes of Anna Nichole. I've even watched a bit of the Surreal Life. Who wouldn't want to see how Webster turned out?

I'm at it again. Is it just me, or will VH-1 and A&E give anyone a show?

First comes along this Scott Baio crap. Ooh. "Poor me. I slept with all the hot girls in Hollywood and my life sucks."

Am I watching? Duh. Just like the rest of the world, I was very obsessed with Happy Days and Joanie Loves Chachi, so of course I'm going to see how Scott Baio functions, or doesn't function.

But even worse than that - last night I watched the Coreys. It was horrible. Feldman, so far, seems to be okay. After all he's been through, he seems to have his head screwed on pretty straight. This could be due to the magic of editting, who knows. But Haim? Whatever drugs he did kept his brain from maturing beyond the age of 14. What a freak! The poor guys needs to buckle down and go get a job at the Gap or Hot Topic, because I don't think It is going to happen for him. Maybe he's just a regular guy that needs to figure out how to work the 9 to 5, even if it's not in front of a camera.

Sooo, what's worse, that I've watched these lunatics, or that I've put this much thought into it?

A&E should give me a show....

Not My Coke

If the coccain didn't belong to Lindsey, then why, in her mug shot, is there redness under her nose?

Baby Blues?

Have you ever seen a baby that you didn't want to hold?

What a horrible question for me to ask, I know.

There is a family in our neighborhood/ward with one daughter followed by four boys. The middle three boys are complete maniacs, and the fourth is a newborn that I would imagine gets pretty roughed up by his brothers.

Tuesday night at a neighborhood BBQ some 11(ish)-year-old girl, probably a friend of big sister's, held the newborn and was not gentle. I was really uncomfortable and really had to force myself to look away.

Last night at Scouts mom and sister thrust newborn into my Maddie's arms and the left the building for several minutes. I could see some distress on Maddie's face, even she didn't want to hold newborn. Why? He was filthy. His clothes were filthy, and had a ring from where the unchanged diaper soaked his clothes.

I rescued Maddie from the icky baby and strategically held the baby so his messiness wouldn't get on me. Fortunately, big sister came along before too long.

I'm a little ashamed of myself for being repelled by a sweet little baby, I wonder how this little one survives this lifestyle. I'm a big, somewhat strong grown up, but even I'm afraid of his crazy brothers.

The Naming of the Host

I am pleased with their choice.

Working My Way Out of a Slump

Why haven't I been blogging? Heck if I know. Just in a slump.

One or two things are helping with my slump...

This morning Isaac was wandering around the house singing an old Incubus song. I experienced a moment of silent giddiness. Silent because if Isaac ever gets the slightest hint that he is entertaining me he stops. Forever. Okay, not forever, but you get the idea. Anyhow, his Incubus singing did make me very happy.

I come from a family of Harry Potter fans. Umm. Fan isn't a strong enough word. Psychotic obsession may be more appropriate. I, on the other hand, have never read the books, and have only seen parts of the movies. But I might be on the verge of catching this fever, higher than normal with this weekend's book release.

Last night my 16-year-old cousin finished book seven and wouldn't share anything with me. Fine. I have other sources.

But I will officially predict, with all of my (lack of) Harry Potter wisdom that our young wizard is reunited with his parents. I have heard that there is a death, and my other prediction is that it's Hagrid. Who knows, maybe I'll finally, after all these years, get on board with the Hogwart's Train.

In other news... okay I have no other news. None. I've been very busy with not a whole lot to show for it. But I am enjoying not working. I've started to contemplate what 'extras' we'd have to give up for me to stay home permanently. Cable, internet, and cell phone for starters, so we might as well give up breathing too. So off to work I will go in late August, but with more reluctance than I had expected.

Cramming It All In

Tuesday in Provo Wednesday waiting for fireworks.

And then how much can we do in 37 hours, beginning Friday at 6:30 am?

Manti Temple

St. George Temple. We'll need to go back when it's not 112 degrees.

Snow Canyon

A short trip through

"Lavendar Days"

Where Has She Been?

At a family reunion in Sundance, Utah.

Then off to California for brother's graduation.

And another family reunion.

More stuff for the brother.

Off to Grandma's.

A little time to goof off while running errands.

Still lots to do. Many to see. And missing home and hubby terribly.

PS Still can't find me? Maybe every now and then I should stand on the other side of the camera.