Just What I Needed

Merry Christmas to All, and To All a Goodnight!

'Twas the night before Christmas

As Santa chewed on a Mento

The creatures were all stirring

When Jess, Maddie and Isaac

Took a plane to Sacramento

Debbie Downer Moment

Feel free to stop reading now. I'll never know.

Many of us here in Utah saw this accident in Provo Canyon on the news today.

And only a handful of you know that I lost my uncle in an accident in almost the exact same spot in 1990.

So I've been a little edgy today, anxious to know the identity of the teenagers involved in today's crash. I'm very relieved to know that none of them are students of mine.

But still very sad for their families.

My poor kids are going to be on the shortest leashes when they are teenagers. I don't want to live in fear, but every time they walk out the door, especially when they are in a car driven by a teen, I'm going to be a mess. Unfortunately I know of too many families whose lives have been turned upside down because of a tragic accident.

How are we going to get through it?

We're going to need to stock up on some sedatives, maybe?

A Snowy Question

Why, why, why, why are there snow plows driving up and down our streets not plowing?

White 'Pre' Christmas?'

How are you doin'?

How's your mom 'n 'em?

So. This could be a long day.

We're snowed in.

As in: missing Maddie's soccer game this morning.

As in: I have a lot more shopping to do and time is running out.

As in: boredom finally forced me to make that batch of fudge.

As in: the kids are bouncing off of the walls. And each other.

The only thing we have to look forward to is piano lessons. I assume the kids will still be able to walk across the street this afternoon.

Stay tuned.

Here in Who-ville

Cindy Lou Who and The Grinch

Not How I Wanted to Kick Off Christmas Break

A moment of silence please...

I had to (gasp) cancel my hair appointment.

Time for the pity party. It might include fudge.

An Apology

Dear Mr. Taco Bell Worker,

I'm sorry that I was rude to you in the drive thru today, I've had guilt ever since.

But it was pretty frustrating to sit. And wait. And wait more, knowing full well that my little bag of food was to the right of the register, and you were just oblivious.

Then you came to the window and tried to collect from me again, this time for the order behind me, and even after I told you that I had ordered one crunchy taco and one burrito supreme, you looked at your screen and tried to convince me that my order was some random combo meal.

So, how surprised can you be that I blurted out "I've already paid!"?

And then you lamely replied "oh, I found your ticket".

No you didn't! You didn't find my ticket! You found my bag of food!

Now I partly blame myself, because I should have been smarter than to go to your Taco Bell. It's always full of morons. But Utah seems to have some ordinance against your establishment, banning franchises from being within 10 miles of on another, forcing me to return to you and yours.

Suggestion: try showing up to work not stoned.

Sincerely,

Me

ps You screwed up my order

(yes, you guessed it. it was the one at 123rd. and Redwood Rd.)

Humble Pie

You probably know by now: I think that I'm a culinary genius.

Tonight I've had some humbling. Let's just say that it involves condensed milk and evaporated milk.

Not the same thing.

Stuck in the Snow Without a Paddle

Just in case you're keeping score on the Tug-of-War on my heart - point: California.

Snow.

Snow. Snow. Snow. Snow. Snow.

(no, that's not a request)

And, as it turns out, and with this being the first Big snow in this house: our driveway sucks! My car is down at the street. Even after shoveling, I can't get my car up the hill and around the bend.

Sounds like I've got a beautiful, long driveway, doesn't it?

Nope. Probably the same size as yours.

I had WAY too much to do Out In The World today. Out where the roads may or may not be plowed.

Ugh.

M&Ms in the Snow

I used to think that my family owned the copyright on traditions. (hello! Pomegranate Weekend dates back to 1972!)

About five years ago, our (then) ward held an Enrichment Night in which several sisters shared their families' Christmas tradition.

Since then I've been collecting them in my heart. (yes, I'm well aware that I'm impossibly cheesy)

I learned about a family that gathers at one sibling's house for chili before going caroling. Good plan: let's send everyone outdoors after gassing up.

Another family snacks on M&Ms while picking out their Christmas tree in the forest. This tradition began when the mom and dad had to follow a trail of M&Ms in the snow to find their first toddler when they lost her in the trees. M&Ms have been included every year since.

Tiercy's family has a picnic dinner by the tree the night they put it up.

Isaac got to tag along with another family tonight whose advent calendar isn't full of waxy chocolate, rather fun notes with things to do. Tonight's note entitled one to pick up a buddy and go to the gas station for a candy bar. (where else would you go in E.M. besides the gas station?) This tradition started when their mom was a little girl.

In David's family, the girls all get new pajamas for Christmas. I think it's kind of spilled over to the boys now that Nana sews.

Speaking of David's family, each year Santa visits Grandma and Grampa's house, listening to all the grandkids' Christmas wishes.

My family? Like many others, we opened one gift on Christmas Eve. More recently a tradition has been established for some to take a trip on Christmas Day out to the gun club to try out the newest. No, I don't go, and it's getting harder and harder to make excuses for my kids to not go.

This might be a year for David, the kids and I to start some new traditions of our own. I'd love to hear about yours.

I'm Bugged

But it doesn't take much, does it?

I have been a huge fan for over a decade. (hard to believe that the show started 14 years ago)

I could go on and on about my devotion, but I think I'm done.

It's bad enough that she's dating a big ol' man whore.

Now this?

I guess it's her mid-life crisis.

Moving to PrimeTime

I wanted to offer a sincere congratulations to my BFF Jay Leno on his new show. What a comfort it is to know that during my sleepless nights, you'll just be downstairs waiting for me in the DVR.

Talk About Cutting Off My Right Arm...

I have been offline. All day!

When I called tech support (over and over throughout the day) I got a fast-busy-signal, leading me to believe that

1.) The internet provider went out of business and took my credit card number with them or

2.) The entire system is down, and all of the callers are flooding the phone system, causing the fast-busy.

What is a (part-time) housewife to do without internet?! It was a nightmare, let me tell you.

I folded laundry, (sort of) cleaned my room, and prepared whatever food 'sick' Maddie asked for. The horror!

It turns out that the fabulous 4-1-1 gave me the wrong number for the internet provider and I just needed to do a little (ahem) rebooting.

I missed you. Please don't go away again.

Go Get 'em Tigers!

Just wanted to take a minute to wish JP and Tifferbob a fun, safe, and wonderful race tomorrow!

To Go or Not To Go

Ummmmm... it's not an overly productive day (thank you sleepless night, the 2nd in a row).

I've puttered.

But I must say that I'd rather just sit and chat with you.

I've finished off the baked macaroni and cheese, finally removing all temptation from my refrigerator.

Maybe that obscene amount of carbs will give me a big energy boost.

Unlikely.

I think, now don't jump out of your seat, but I think that I'm going to venture out. Maybe it's time to get some wrapping paper. I've got a couple of things that could go under the tree.

The problem is, and you know how it is: wrapping paper isn't the only thing that's going to jump into my basket. I don't have a good track record lately. I'm bound to find more to go on the tree. But I need to focus more on putting things under it.

It's cheaper to just stay home. I think I will.

But then you're stuck with more of my rambling.

Special Delivery

And I don't mean that I'm expecting. Pregnant. With child.

I'm not. But thanks to my recent weight gain, last night someone at church thought that I was.

Nope. Just chubby.

No, the special delivery I'm talking about is the kind you get from the magic of Online Shopping.

Ahhhhhhh!

Yesterday the big brown truck brought me some goodies from Old Navy. And just now, when the doorbell rang, I stopped and considered my appearance (didn't want to shock the neighbors), but was certain that it would be another gift from Cyber Space. It was! Presents for me! Wallflower refills and foamy soap!

Presents on my doorstep.

Now that's just a good day right there.

Is Anyone Out There?

I just re-checked my email. As if someone else out there is awake at 1am.

I got one! From, ummm... Costco.

So Gentle, So Profound

It's absolutely, positively, really, really, really no surprise that I've put on about 10 pounds this last month. My trip to the doctor today confirmed it.

But I did so much better today, and almost went the entire day without chocolate. I even skipped Marci's beautiful brownies. (Did you hear that collective gasp? I think it came from California)

But I wussed out, and had one (really, just one) square of Isaac's Symphony Bar.

At bedtime.

And now I'm wide awake.

That's what the no soda, no caffeine lifestyle does for you.

So please indulge me so I can tell you about our wonderful Enrichment Night.

The tables were fabulous. The centerpieces were giant, clear glass vases with a bow tied around the outside, filled part-way with water with cranberries floating on the top. I thought it looked elegant.

The tables were full. We had a big turn out, over 85 sisters were there. Talking. Talking like we weren't going to talk to another grown up again. Ever.

After dinner we gathered in the Relief Society room for the sweet program.

And (finally) here's my point: our dear, sweet, wonderful, (more adjectives please) Relief Society president shared some thoughts with us, and one that really struck me was (forgive me if you've heard this before)...

We are all innkeepers. It's up to us to decide if we've got room for Christ.

What Would You Do?

David, sweetheart that he is (ahem), bought me a couple of tops for my birthday.

From Mervyn's.

As in: Mervyn's that is going out of business.

As in: No refunds or exchanges.

Sigh

When I was looking at the bank account, it seems that Mervyn's over charged us.

In David's usual fashion, he has long since disposed of the receipt.

So if I want to right this wrong, I have to go through the garbage, also known as Dumpster Diving.

Would you?

Would it help to know how much money we're talking about?

I am pretty sure that Mervyn's owes us about $25.

Friday is garbage day.

Again, what would you do?

Who Put That in My Chart?

Tuesdays are really hectic for us. Maddie has choir, soccer practice and activity days. Isaac has scouts. (okay, some of you are scoffing at what I call hectic)

Today we had a little extra added to the mix: I had physical therapy at 8am, and then all three of us had dentist appointments at 1pm.

I was sitting in the chair, with the dental assistant going over my allergies and conditions. Condition? Cerebral palsy. She literally asked about me having CP. I was pretty sarcastic and obnoxious when I answered "No!"

I know my posture is bad, but come on. I have loved ones with that condition, and friends with loved ones who have it. But not me.

It's in the chart. It must be true.

Not Your Average Red Neck

Oh. My. Gosh.

Apparently his surroundings are catching up with him.

I just saw footage of him leaving court dressed in a plaid shirt, overalls, and a cowboy hat.

For the record, I'm on his side.

He Didn't Cross the Road

Today I was driving in 'rural' area.

A turkey was walking down the street, past a few houses, obeying all the pedestrian rules.

We made eye contact. He seemed to say "Ha! I wasn't the centerpiece on your table last Thursday. What are you going to do about it?"

Just Between You and I

When I'm home alone (ahhhh), or as we say in our family: Home A-yone, I leave the TV on as I putter around the house. Sometimes I even crank up the volume so that I can listen from all corners of the house.

I don't watch any one show regularly. Just whatever. Could be The Cosby Show. Gilmore Girls, or The View.

But today I needed my show to not be too deep. (Shhhh!) That's when I turn to my friends:

PS One day I will have a dog just like Meaty.

The Outing

You are going to be so sick of me by day's end. There are just too many things randomly swirling around my noggin.

I've been a part-time-stay-at-home-mom for a few months now. I thoroughly love it.

But sometimes, like today, I feel like I'm treading on someone else's turf. (yes I know 'else's' isn't a word)

I. Got. To. Go. To. Robert's. Alone.

It was 9:30. There were some shoppers, but not shoulder to shoulder like it often is. The paranoid side of me thought that the others were giving me funny looks. Like I didn't genuinely belong there. Like I'm not a full-blooded home-maker. Like they knew.

I still enjoyed it. Too much. $$$

Maybe next time I'll do it right and take some Bon Bons or Haagen Daaz with me.

PS For the Californians, Robert's is like Michael's, but smaller and better.

Are You Holding Out On Me?

I just typed a blog about my feelings towards my high school students. Some really good, some not so much. I will go so far to say that I compared some to Granzella's bread and others to icky bologna.

But then I chickened out. It seems that I am censoring my blogs more and more. Last week my friend told me that she un-published several posts for fear that her parents might get offended.

Several times I've entertained the thought of starting an anonymous blog.

Are you finding that you're holding back?

Or do you already have your secret blog?

Happy Thanksgiving

I Said I Wouldn't Do It

But I did.

I didn't have a lot going for me this week, with the exception of not lifting a finger.

Unless I really wanted to. And I did really want to oil the kitchen cabinets. Really.

I told myself that I was NOT going to fold the mountain of laundry in my room.

But I just did. It only took me about 25 minutes.

No. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. I'll ice my sore muscles before I put it all away.

Nostalgia Anyone?

Much to my annoyance, Maddie is watching that stupid sponge cartoon.

They are doing their underwater spoof of Mid Evil Times, which took me on a little journey down memory lane.

Join me.

Remember when we went in '92?

We enjoyed our utensil-less dinner, watched the jousting, and then the knight brought a rose over to Rachel.

Later that night, Jaynann (still mad about being left behind) was almost murdered for dis-petaling said rose.

Ohhhhhhhh. (sniff) Good times.

Santa's Helpers

An email was sent out at work inviting people to volunteer to serve dinner at a shelter on Christmas day.

The best part was the end of the message, telling the readers to hurry to sign up because spots go fast.

I love it. So many people are willing to sacrifice a couple of hours on Christmas Day that reservations are required to serve.

Is it Safe?

Have you gone to the store today?

I just need a couple of things, but I'm afraid for my life. The grocery store? The day before Thanksgiving?

If you don't hear from me by tonight, send out a search party.

A Really Close Call

You've heard of a drunk call... you know when someone who's had too much to drink thinks that 2am is the time to call their Ex.

Last night we almost invented the Isaac Call.

Sighhhhhhhhhhh

I've never been so thankful that my house is a cell phone Dead Zone.

Isaac crawled into bed with me at about 1am. In the process he hit just the right combination of buttons to dial a friend in the ward.

I caught (and ended) it in just the nick of time.

That would have been a fun one to explain.

Kicking Off Thanksgiving Break

If we must be 600 miles away from home, lets make some fun out of it.

A couple of friends joined us for a movie and caramel corn.

I'm thinking...wouldn't it be fun for the mom's to have a turn tomorrow night?

Run For Cover

The Cougs didn't win.

Ya' Think?

During another Twilight commercial...

Maddie: "You're going to think I'm completely crazy, but that guy looks like Cedric Diggory".

Just When I Think I've Got the Hang of It

Living in Utah is so weird!

(but I still like it)

This is the third BYU-Utes football game since I became a Utah resident.

There is just nothing like this rivalry where I come from.

Do you bleed red? Or do you bleed blue? My friend's little girl has her nails painted red on one hand and blue on the other because their house is divided. I'm pretty sure that in the past I've told you about my aunt's neighbors and their meticulously cut lawns, with a perfectly trimmed Y, and the other a U, cut in to their grass. (it really is cool)

Just now on the radio there was talk about some Utes fans having a tailgate party with a big screen in a stake center parking lot and BYU fans having a kegger. The madness!

But on the other hand, it is kind of fun to see so many people so passionate about what they love.

Except it's more than passion. It's some kind of sick obsession, and when one team wins, the fans of the losers cry "cheating", and blame the refs.

I will not be watching the game tomorrow, because there is no safe place to just go and enjoy the football game. There will either by chaotic celebrating or, well, violence and tears.

Maybe I'll just sit at home and watch a new movie.

PS I'll tell you what I'm NOT doing! I'm not going to see that stupid Twilight!

Two Tag

Thank you, Tifferbob.

Two names you go by: besides Jessica

1. Mom

2. Janet. Miss Jackson if you're nasty

Two things you are wearing right now:

1. white T-shirt with 3/4 sleeves

2. comfy grey stretchy pants that shape my belly into a round pregnant shape (of course I'm not)

Two things you want right now:

1. to have a good Thanksgiving

2. for these two to be no longer

Two things you did last night:

1. ate my weight in oatmeal chocolate chip cookies

2. oh, yeah, Pack meeting

Two things you ate today:

1. leftover Cafe Rio (oh, so yummy)

2. more ummm, uh, oatmeal chocolate chip cookies

Two favorite drinks:

1. water

2. hot zen green tea with a spoonful of honey

I think I'll tag Stacey and Melissa.

Growing Pains?

Many of you remember that my labor with Maddie was 36+ hours. And that I pushed for... wait, that's not relevant.

The thought is out there that because I resisted the contractions, instead of just 'going with' the contractions, that it prolonged labor.

As I watch her now, with her 12th birthday nearing (okay, not until March), and with her teenage years lurking over my shoulder, I'm feeling that same resistance. And I'm pretty sure that I will need to constantly remind myself to just 'go with' it.

I stumble across these reminders and alerts often, little orange cones guiding me to the teenage years. One weekly 'orange cone' is seeing a couple of Maddie's classmates pass the Sacrament. I've watched her (out of the corner of my eye) and she has no reaction, it's not a big deal to her. It is to me! My baby is all grown up!

I am not ready. I am trying to put on the brakes. But I know that if I want to be a good mom, then I should do the opposite. Maybe you've heard this phrase: A Good Mom Works Herself Out of a Job. And maybe you've heard that talk from General Conference (a while back) where the mom is sending her grown daughter off to be married and wonders if she's taught her enough.

Am I? Am I teaching her enough? Am I doing enough to 'work my way out of this job'?

No. It's never enough. Now matter what. There's too much to pass on, whether is academic, spiritual, or just the little life lessons. I wish I had the energy/motivation to hold FHE every night, because in this crazy world - we need it.

Maddie is amazing. It's amazing that her and I survived this weekend of finishing her Egypt project.

I love her. She's my girl. And I'll just keep trying to go with the contractions.

Life Is Like a Box of Chocolates

There must be a moral or a message or something to be learned from this...

The box of chocolates? The chocolates involved in last night's fiasco?

On the way up to Sandy's house yesterday, Isaac found some assorted chocolates in the back seat of David's car. (he's lucky I didn't get to them first) It was some off-brand of chocolates, but Isaac was surely intrigued.

He asked if he could have some and I tried to talk him out of it, not knowing what in the world was in the center of these candies.

He said (and here's the lesson? maybe) "Don't worry. I'll choose wisely."

Forrest Gump is a freaking genius.

I can't help but think: sometimes we do have to make choices when our options are all random and even unknown. Like moving to Nevada, or Montana, or even (sigh) Utah. Or making a big purchase, like a car or a new home. Or, on a smaller scale, letting the kids spend time at their friends' houses and not knowing the family/their values/what the kids are watching on TV.

The list of choices is long and diverse.

I'll just keep trying to "choose wisely".

All in a Friday Night

I must have a Fiasco Beacon.

Everything I'm involved in lately quickly turns in to a huge mess. You might want to keep some distance.

I had a lovely (am I so old that I'm saying lovely?) time with my friend Stacey tonight as she so sweetly worked her magic on my hair. Girl Talk. That's why we go to the salon: to hide from the husband and children and cell phone and indulge in beautiful, wonderful, NECESSARY Girl Talk. (thanks, Stacey)

Fortunately, the fiasco came afterward. And tonight it was named Isaac.

(do you want the condensed version?)

It's dark, kids need to be picked up from Sandy's, traffic heavy, car needs gas, kids didn't eat the McDonald's I'd bought them before my appointment, now they're starving, Taco Bell drive-thru, construction on Redwood Rd.

Still not to the fiasco.

Yet.

All of a sudden, in the dark, desert night, Isaac discovers something all over the back of his hand. Whatever, my mind is too busy processing what I need to do at home.

Earlier in the afternoon, Mr. Isaac helped himself to some assorted chocolates (I'll come back to that another time) in the back of David's car. At some point he apparently sat on one.

All. Over. The. Place.

I hope 409 isn't bad for car leather.

Then. Yes then. Then he's still hungry. To top off his 9-year-old belly, he decided on Honey Buches of Oats, but first had to spill half (HALF) of the bag across the dining room floor.

I just stood there. Didn't react, knew he would react enough for both of his parents witnessing the 2nd fiasco. As he started to melt down I dry-ly said "Get the vacuum."

David and him worked together to reign in all the oats and flakes and whatever honey the vacuum could handle.

Afterward our smart, little fiasco-maker said "I'm going to look back on this some day and laugh".

Now, as I reflect on the night, I realize that some of you with 3 or 4, or even more kids are saying, 'Jess, that's not a fiasco. That's just Friday night.'

It's a Great Day to be a T-Wolf

That message often comes across our email at work, usually a teacher or administrator sharing a story of school spirit or observing an act of kindness.

It is Freedom Week at my high school. I hope to somehow show you pictures of the hallways, decorated by each class, honoring our soldiers and our freedoms.

This morning was the Flag Ceremony, held each year during Freedom Week.

The daily schedule is altered just a bit to include this early morning ritual. The students and faculty gather in the big gym dressed in their Sunday best (unless you're like me and forgot, but really, I'm not going to wear a girdle all day in the name of dressing up).

The American Legion present the flags, our amazing choir sings the National Anthem. Then with patriotic music playing, the American Legion also presents, one at a time, a flag for each branch of the military: Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, Coast Guard, and Merchant Marines. Students are asked to stand individually as these flags are brought in if they have friends or family in each of the branches, while the rest of the crowd applauds.

Then the music stops and the gym is silent as a flag for the MIA soldiers is presented.

It's a great ceremony. I wish you could be there. I wish I could walk you through the halls. But I'll see what I can do do bring you pictures and or video footage.

I'm Out of Control

This is a cry for help.

It started on Halloween.

The eating.

Leading up to October 31, I didn't eat candy, didn't even buy it for the trick-or-treaters until that very day.

But then the flood gates opened.

And by flood gates I mean my jaws.

I have been eating like there is no tomorrow.

I know it's partly hormonal, but that reasoning can only get me so far.

Each day since this disgusting-ness began, I have been shoveling in tons, and tons of chocolate (what can I say, we scored on Halloween). But it didn't stop there. I've also been inhaling (gasp) bread. Bread and butter. Bread with butter and Parmesan toasted. Bread.

Yes. It's true.

I feel like I'm starving. Clearly not.

I've been eating the good stuff too: salad, carrot sticks, zucchini, homemade smoothies, and on top of that bananas and apples. Yesterday, in attempt to fight off whatever illness is lurking, I made a pot of chicken noodle soup. How much did I eat? Two bowls.

And when that doesn't satisfy, bring on the cereal. I figure a bowl of cereal is somewhat better than a bowl of ice cream. It's Lucky Charms to save the day!

Oh geez! I just remembered the BBQ Kettle potato chips I found in David's car late last night.

I don't even like BBQ flavor! Did that stop me?! NO!

One of two things is going to happen: I'm going to burst wide open, literally at the seams. Or my blood sugar is going to completely give out on me, and I'll collapse in a puddle.

Either way, I'm going to be about 40 pounds heavier next time you see me.

You Guys Thought I Was Nuts

Check out #5.

Feeling a Bit Uneasy

Well. I've almost done it.

I made a lasagna last night that is so close to my mom's. (it helps to stick to her recipe)

Aunt Sandy and her family were supposed to come for dinner, bringing salad and bread to accompany the enormous pan of lasagna.

Supposed to.

We had to cancel, leaving us with a ton of lasagna (but no one is complaining).

Why did we cancel?

Maddie has the stomach flu, which means we're all going to have the stomach flu.

Funny thing: my 11-year-old can't seem to make it to the toilet. She could when she was 3. But not now. Thank goodness there has been a blanket or hoodie for me to throw under her face at the last minute.

Are you turning green?

Oh, Jen

You're making a huge mistake.

Hopefully it's just a bunch of tabloid crap.

But they've been right before.

I'm Trying to Be Ready For This

From my closet window...

And from the laundry room window...

Why from the windows?

Would you want to go out there?

A Pat on the Back

Where do we start?

How do we begin?

Just a couple of things...

(I hope I'm not jumping the gun, with 90% of precincts reporting...)

A huge congratulations to California. And a huge congratulations to my friends who worked so hard to promote Prop 8.

Does that mean I'm anti-gay? Absolutely not.

I was shocked when (in the middle of the night) I found the breakdown (by county) of the pass/fail vote for Prop 8.

It even passed in L.A.

Then I remembered that there are more Latter Day Saints in L.A. than in the whole state of Utah. Well done.

Congratulations also to Kevin Johnson, new mayor of Sacramento.

How do I feel about our next president?

Sigh

I hope he has a lot of success. I'm worried about Iraq. And I'm worried about some other issues that could face the livelihood of my family.

My fingers are crossed.

The Mono

Is it because I'm getting older, or because I live in Utah that I have started putting 'the' in front of everything?

Warning: venting post. Just venting. Not seeking sympathy.

Oh. And I've probably vented about this before.

I have been feeling pretty good lately (knock on wood). I feel like myself.

Every now and then, (still) someone will say something, that makes me feel like they're taking a jab at me. Hopefully not, it may be that I'm just ultra-sensitive, but it sure feels like some people are trying to get their digs in.

I have found that only people who have had mono get it. And by 'get it' I mean understand how miserable it is. By the time mono was diagnosed, I thought I was losing my mind. What is causing me to feel this way? Also by the time it was diagnosed, my test showed that my 'levels' were high.

Mono is not about just being tired. In my case it was about being so dysfunctional-ly exhausted that I had nothing. So much nothing that I couldn't care about what I was missing out on.

It was NEVER a crutch to get me out of obligations and responsibilities (which is where I'm sensitive to other people's digs). But it sure 'got me out of' a lot of good Sunday dinners with Sandy and fun outings with David and the kids. I missed out on a lot.

I worked every day; how well I worked is another story. But I went every day, came home and went to bed. Got up to fix dinner and clean up. Went back to bed. And stayed there.

I remember a lot of times when I would go over homework with the kids: in my bed. I also remember a lot of times when I was too tired to move, couldn't sleep, and just stared at the wall because I didn't have the focus to watch TV or read a book.

I didn't have the sore throat/strep that others get typically. But oh, the nausea; and let's not forget the intestinal issues and tests last fall. (if ever you are preparing for a cat scan and have to drink 'the stuff', you know that junk that tastes like pina colada shampoo, call me and I'll be your cheerleader) Since you've followed me down this venting path, I might as well mention the nuclear test, the one where I had to eat radio-active eggs so the doctors could see my guts. Sigh.

Then, after 9 months of mono, and after surviving (sort of) the school year, oops! Concussion. Back to the couch.

It's been a strange year. Really strange. And in many ways a learning experience. I hope that I've learned to be sympathetic/kind/compassionate to others with random ailments. I've also learned that when I get that burst of energy, I've got to make the most of it.

Which reminds me... I've got some laundry staring me in the face.

Chicken Pot Pie to the Rescue

I just tried something new girls, and I thought I'd share.

No, not that.

A recipe.

I was craving something ooey and gooey and settled on a chicken pot pie.

David's not a fan (what a surprise) so I haven't made one before.

I sort of used this recipe, but opted to use mushrooms, celery, zucchini and spinach. And, um, I bought a frozen pie crust.

It's not cheap to make, but it was really yummy and hit the spot.

PS Tiercy, as my only blog reader who lives in the state, you're totally welcome to come by for a slice.

Happy Halloween

You've Got to See This

Look at Yahoo's dancing characters at the top of their page! Today!

How to Effectively Open a Box of QTips

(Because sometimes the plastic-front won't separate from the cardboard-back)

Step 1: If you are exhausted from your grocery shopping trip, stand at the bottom of the stairs and throw the box to the top. (if you didn't throw hard enough the first one, even two times, and the box tumbles down the stairs and back to you, repeat step one and throw harder)

Step 2: Since you threw the box harder, the box will hit the wall, breaking the box open.

Step 3: Clean up your enormous Q-Tip mess.

Box Open

He Couldn't Wait!

Many of us have been holding our breath as he took his first this morning. Welcome, Little Zander. We're rootin' for you! Your mom, too.

I Hoped You Could Stop By

Inspired by Tifferbob, and because most of you won't be in my state this autumn, come on in...

Break Time: Over

I hope you've enjoyed this break.

Because it's over.

All of the venting, fussing, whining, complaining, unloading and sighing that you usually read about was forced upon my mom this last week. Not online. In person.

And I'm pretty sure that her ears are going to shrivel up.

My mom spent this past week with us here in Utah. It was wonderful.

But now it's over, and she probably just crossed the California state line. Mom, Grandma and David are on their way to Sacramento.

All the shopping, scrapbooking, Rumikub and Sequence games are now just a fond memory. Did I mention shopping? Ohh, and the trips to Kneader's, Cafe Rio and Won Won Wok: Yum.

Now. Back to the venting...

Shhh! Don't Tell Me

I am now two (count them: one, two) episodes behind on Grey's.

Last week the (fill-in-the-explitive) DVR recorded Ugly Betty instead of Grey's. And last night I remembered to record The Office here at mom's, but not the other.

Let's hope my DVR at home is back on track.

We Made It

We have journeyed west.

And wait until you see the tumor that is brewing in the corner of my eye!

We'll both be happy to see you.

Not Falling Completely Apart

I didn't do too bad.

I had some leftover pasta and chicken before eating (only) 6 pieces of chocolate (better than the whole bag).

And instead of curling up in a ball to cry I vacuumed the whole downstairs, stairs and upstairs.

When I get back from taking Isaac to scouts, I'll dust.

So, I'm managing. Not doing too bad. I'll check in later.

Oh Crappy Day

I hope you're having a good day.

There is not even an ounce of sarcasm in that sentence. I truly hope you are having a good day.

Because I am not.

Random bits of stuff can sure shake things up.

Like... eh. It's lame.

I'm going to go curl up in a ball. I may or may not cry.

I have some Dove chocolates stashed away. Maybe eating my weight in candy will take the bad day away.

I also need TV.

TV and chocolate, ooh and a nap. Then should be in good shape (emotionally, but i guess not physically).

PS I kinda have a pretty big to-do-list.

How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?

I was so excited to pick up a little jacket at Old Navy the other day; partly because of the clearance price - $10, and partly because I have been feeling so naked as this cold weather and snow have settled in for an early winter here in Utah. I have nothing to wear.

I paired my new bargain with a brown skirt for church today.

It wasn't before long that I was feeling like fräulein Jessica.

So Proud

And I don't even know her that well.

One of my students, new to me this year, is singing the National Anthem at the BYU hockey game tonight.

Oh, I wish I could be there.

Seeking Approval

I was flustered on Wednesday night when my family threw away their dinner and got out the PB&J.

I'm a good cook. Sometimes I go so far as to call myself a culinary genius (pronounced as Frank would say it on Father of the Bride).

But the rice didn't get quite done that night, wrecking the whole stir-fry ensemble.

Sigh.

So last night I went all out. My first clam chowder. My mom makes it all the time, but I was a chowder virgin.

I looked over plenty of internet recipes, but mostly went with my mom's (I'm sorry, I'm not interested in using fresh clams, hello, Utah), and then 'winged' it. (what's the past tense of wing?)

Like I said, I went all out, even picked up bread bowls. But with so much going on (ie David at work, Maddie at soccer practice, and parent teacher conferences) we weren't all at the table at the same time.

Bummer.

I got an IM from David while I was out - "Best soup ever".

Redeemed?

And So it Begins

(actually, it began last weekend, but fortunately we were out of state)

Jill Told Me to Get the Flashy One

You know you've been carrying around a purse too long when YOUR HUSBAND suggests you should move on.

It's been nearly two years since Becky and I bought our twin purses.

Presenting: the new purse!

It's kinda just an eel-skin (real or not) gift bag.

Say Cheese!

Did you see Abby in that picture below?

She's smiling!

I guess she finally realized that the camera doesn't steal your soul.

You Can Find Me On the Couch

Too

dysfunctional

to

blog.

But

totally

worth

every

mile.

Pretty Big Coincidence

For some reason, I sometimes get caught up in missing persons cases.

After reading this article, I have one question: don't you think it's weird that in a high-impact crash his wallet, identifying him, survived?

Who's One First

I just taught a lesson on homophones to my English Tutorial class.

A student asked me what the homophone was for sight.

"Site" I replied.

"Yeah, sight. What's the homophone?"

Sigh

My Favorite Karate Kid

Maddie just saw him on an early morning episode of Fresh Prince of Bel Air.

She turned to me and asked "Isn't that Steven Cigar?"

Favorite TV Quote of the Week

From my geeks on The Big Bang Theory...

Sheldon: "Break out the Red Bull. We're going to rock Mario old school."

Our Outing

I introduced David to Kneader's today.

I tried to warn him while still in the parking lot that he was going to be hooked.

He thought I was full of it.

Part way through my sausage croissant breakfast sandwich and his pastrami sandwich - soup combo I leaned across the table and whispered "I told you so".

We left with 2 cream puffs, 2 cannoli, and one cream cheese brownie.

We also made a stop at D.I. We're trying to score a kids blazer to complete Isaac's Halloween costume - Will Smith/Men In Black.

Ummmm. For those of you back home, accustomed to the Auburn Blvd. D.I. - the two stores are not even on the same planet. This D.I. was spotless, well organized, even the T-shirts were hung with like-colors. (David also informed me that the bathrooms were spotless.) I haven't been to the Auburn Blvd. store since it was remodeled... maybe it's now neat and tidy, too. I should mention that we picked up a bunch of shirts and pants for the kids, but no Halloween blazer.

Before heading home we stopped by one of the last-of-the-season produce stands and grabbed up a bunch of tomatoes and peaches. I'm really going to miss summer and it's wares.

PS The manager of Kneader's mentioned that there are franchise opportunities in California. I'm just saying.

Decisions, Decisions

I'm having a party on Friday night. I hope you'll be there.

I am really looking forward to feeding my friends, and CANNOT decide on a menu. At this point, I am picturing myself, the day of, wheeling my shopping cart up and down the aisles, and whatever jumps in the basket gets to go home with me.

The theme is 'Pamper Yourself', as I am hosting the party for Sarah and her new business/hobby, and wanted the food to be (somewhat) indulgent.

I am open to suggestions, and so far the list of possibilities are: lettuce wraps, nachos, chicken chili with cornbread, enchiladas (both green and red), or now I'm leaning towards lasagna (mom's recipe, of course).

I'm not as worried about the dessert, though there was a time where that would have been my main focus. I think I'll just do brownies, but I sort of would like to incorporate autumn, maybe apple or pumpkin something. Probably just brownies, though.

I wonder if I will stick to lasagna. I forgot to mention that I was also considering doing some breakfast-type stuff, because let's face it, that asparagus stuff at our Heifer brunch was to die for.

Whatever I settle on will be yummy.

So come hungry!

Once There Was a Snowman

I am really appreciative of the wonderful weather we have been blessed with recently.

Especially because I am just not ready to face winter. Do you remember the Ice Age we experienced here in Utah last year? Does Al Gore know?

So while I am so happy about the warmth, I am so sad about the early darkness that plagues us this time of year. The sun has completely set by 8:00 these days, with the darkness mocking and taunting me, reminding me of that which I cannot avoid: winter.

I seems like I had just given my kids a talk about how there has to be opposition in all things, when David decided to turn the tables on me, reminding me that without the winter, I would not be able to enjoy the summer.

Ok, fine. But can I fly south for this winter?

I'd settle for west.

This Just In

And I mean just...

Maddie: What did you guys have for dinner?

Mom: BLTs.

Isaac: I had a B.

Isaac: Mom. Are you laughing at me? What's so funny?

I Found It!

Finally.

The USB cable to my camera has been missing since the move.

Yes, yes. The move was in April.

So now I can bring you pictures that are old. Dated. Almost Forgotten.

Like the first day of school, nearly a month and a half ago.

So much has changed! Maddie's hair isn't long enough for a pony anymore, and she's back in braces.

Maybe I should see what else I can find in the garage. Money? My figure?

Sigh

Too Tough To Choose

I just got home.

Hopefully the DVR schedule held up it's end of the bargain. (the bargain being that if it recorded my shows I wouldn't take a hammer to it)

Dilemma: which do I watch first?

Grey's or The Office?

Darn These 600 Miles

I need to be home today.

Today Jill was in a car accident.

Today Jaye's baby is sick.

Today Jordan sliced open his finger and busted his knuckle.

Crap! Has anyone checked on Jamesson?

Take It From Me

Holy frickin' frack!

I'm sorry for the strong language, but ow.

And I mean ow.

When you go to get your eyebrows done, and they wonder if you would like to have them 'threaded' you either 1.) say $@%# no! or 2.) get ready for the worst pain EVER.

I thought that I had it done some other time. Apparently not.

The pain is sort of what I imagine a tattoo feeling like. It felt like a razor blade slicing in to my forehead 8-10 times just over the top of my brow.

Just in case I haven't made myself clear: I do NOT recommend eyebrow threading.

But on the other hand, my eyebrows did turn out nicely.

No, I'm sticking to my guns. No threading!

What? Who? WHY?

What the heck?!

I don't know what's more disturbing...

The Fringe, with the women dying after delivering fetuses that immediately grow to a full-sized adult and then die (this all, of course, after they've had their pituitary gland removed and then the guy forcing himself on them)

OR

Someone trying to eat Claire's brain on Heroes.

Who comes up with this new level of ickiness?

Must See TV

It's finally here!

Premiere week!

Which shows will you be watching/DVRing?

Our DVR will be in overdrive, recording the likes of Grey's, The Office, Big Bang Theory, and continuing on with The Fringe (ewwww!).

But tonight is THE night.

Many, many months in the making, thanks to the writer's strike.

(drum roll please)

Presenting the Season Premier of Heroes!

I personally don't care, but what joy it brings to my over-worked husband. He even changed the background on his phone to display the Heroes logo.

And now I am in trouble. What was I thinking?!

I did not provide proper Heroes premiere munchies. And I'm not in the mood to throw together a cobbler like I did last night for the Emmy's.

There goes my chances for winning Wife of the Year.

Bummer. I really thought that 2008 was going to be my year.

The Big Night

I love the Emmy's. I love having DVR so I can fast forward through the political crap.

We're an hour in to this year's Emmy's and I have one thing to say:

Did you see Love's dress?!

I loved it!

PS Ms. Applegate, I'm keeping my fingers crossed!

The Most Adorable Couple

I wanted to be clever and make a list of things that happened since this couple married 80 years ago.

But in my usual fashion, I took a shortcut.

How about if I just link you to Wikipedia, and then you can look for yourself.

Oh. You need a shortcut too, eh?

What Would You Do If I Sang Out of Tune

How far do you go to help a friend?

There are a couple of people on my mind. One is about to lose everything, including her home. Another is suffering physically.

There have been times with these two when it has been easy for me to give/serve.

Right now it's not coming to me as easily. Possibly because their situations are pretty hopeless, I don't know where to begin, whatever I give won't be enough...

Well that's just a big sentence full of excuses, and at a time when they need help the most.

I'm restless. I know I should help. But I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

And then I remind myself that we should lose ourselves in service.

Thank goodness for prayer. I can start/continue praying for my friends.

In doing so I'll probably figure out where to begin. And then I'm back to my original question:

How far do you go to help a friend?

All in a Day's Work

Today is one of those days that gives me guilt.

After I took the kids to school, vacuumed, and cleaned the bathrooms I went and got my hair did.

I even went so far as to (gasp!) get highlights.

THEN (yes, there is more) I went to Tai Pan Trading.

Alone!

(tifferbob, this store was made for you.)

And THEN I met Sandy at Kneader's for lunch. But I ran out of time, so we got our lunches to go and went our separate ways. (BTW: Sandy booked a cruise for her and Steve; they leave in two weeks.)

No worries, I brought home 1/2 dozen Kneader's cookies for David and the kids. That should just about cover it, right?

And now I'm home, and I'm too tired from my outings to fold laundry.

When is it going to learn how to fold itself?

Children of the Corn

Utah, Utah, Utah.

What will they think of next?

Good ol' Thanksgiving Point is gearing up for their big Halloween season.

It's a treat for kids to go and take part in the fall festivities, but the big ticket item is the maze. I've gone twice with Maddie and Isaac, and twice with Special Ed. It's fun and makes for great photos, especially on a blue-sky day.

Previous mazes have been ________ (cut, shaved, harvested - fill in the blank) in themes like dinosaurs, Olympics, and none other than Napoleon Dynamite.

I passed the billboard featuring this year's theme on the way home from work today.

Any guesses?

Presenting: this year's Cornbelly's Maze!

Yes, that's the actual aerial shot.

Holding the Eyelids Open

disclaimer: following is a bunch of boring moaning and groaning. I guess it's a good bedtime read.

Typing "what a day" just doesn't do it justice. I started out with an agenda. A tight agenda, knowing that I had places to be and laundry to fold.

Take kids to school (check)

Mop kitchen floor (check)

Visiting teaching (check)

And then she called.

Maddie.

The poor girl called twice from school because her (orthodontic) appliance came loose and she was in a lot of pain.

I hummed and hawed. Too many factors to make a quick decision.

Our orthodontist is only here on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and is at their other office in South Jordan on the others.

And I haven't even mentioned David's company BBQ up the Provo Canyon that I was supposed to be at. At 2pm.

But as I said, the poor girl was hurting.

I picked her and brother up from school, made the call, and we were on our way.

Her and I expected that the ortho would take out the appliance and put it back in properly.

Nope.

They took it out and put all of her top brackets on. During an emergency appointment.

Blah, blah blah, we were on our way.

Got to dad's BBQ 1/2 hour late, the storm kicked up, the storm moved on.

Too Eagle Mountain.

And here's where I became the recipient of pity.

Maddie and I had to rush off to Eagle Mountain for our softball game.

The storm hung over long enough for the game to be canceled, giving me a much needed hour on my couch. Hallelujah.

I should have slept. But no, not when there are numbers to plug in to the new phone.

I'm exhausted and have a really bad feeling that I'm going to be late to work tomorrow.

Cross your fingers for me.

PS Oh crap! Just remembered that I burned up all my gas running to and fro today. I really am going to be late.

Missing Cousins

I showed aunt Jaye's new pictures to Maddie and Isaac just now.

Isaac matter-of-fact-ly said: "That's the world's best 4-year-old."

More Addiction

A very special thanks to my sister, Jill.

Thank you so much for getting Maddie addicted to John and Kate Plus 8.

Now, as you may have guessed, I am well on my way to being completely hooked.

I'm going to need more DVR memory.

2:15 Appt.

I'm headed for my 4-month-check-up with the gastroenterologist.

Do you know what that means?

Stepping on a scale.

Sigh

The Long Awaited

After a lifetime of saying "I'm going to" (okay, not a lifetime, but all summer) I finally did it.

And after putting up with my crappy Razor phone for nearly two years, I upgraded.

Isn't she cute?!

It was quite the ordeal, thanks to the online tech support leading me astray. But another tech-ee got me through it and my little friend is on her way. (no, not my period, my phone)

Legacy Question

The new Legacy Parkway has opened.

What is it? A freeway, 12 years in the works, to help ease the traffic between Salt Lake City and it's northern 'burbs.

Most of us in Eagle Mountain are salivating at the thought.

The grand opening of Legacy Parkway brings up the age old question:

Why do we drive in a Parkway and park in a Driveway?

I Have Questions

And I hope you have answers.

These free blog backgrounds.

Why are they free?

Why would someone put such cuteness and so much time in to something, and then give it away free on the internet?

What's the catch?

Are they now entitled to all of the content?

Do all of our cute stories about our kids and our fiascoes and getting old and moving to new states and successes and our failures belong to them now?

Sure, we put our words out there. For any and all to see.

But really it's just you reading it.

Right?

No Dying

No. No Dying. Just a car accident. And a lot of blood.

Pinching Millions of Cheeks

Did you ever see the commercial with the little spring flower, I think it's a pansy, that has just blossomed and the lady reaches down to the petal, as if pinching its cheek?

I love it!

This week I feel like I want to reach out and pinch millions and millions of cheeks.

It was suggested to us that we seed our backyard instead of doing sod.

We were reluctant at first, but hey - it's about one tenth of the cost.

The seed was planted on Labor Day, and 8 days later the first few green blades peaked out at us.

I love it! I go check on the 'kids' often to see how they're doing, and to see how many of their siblings popped up since my last check.

We won't be able to fully appreciate our new lawn until spring, but so far it's sort of like going to the nursery and staring at all the little blades wrapped in their pink or blue blankies.

We've Got to Laugh at Ourselves

I like Utah.

But sometimes I wonder if I'll ever get used to it.

So I'm really grateful for the moments that make me chuckle:

I listen to the same radio show each time I drive to work. One member of the church, two non.

One day there was a story about bloods and crips (gang members) within the prison system in California.

"Do they have that here?"

"Yeah, but in Utah the prison gangs are called Mia Maids and High Priests."

Hee Hee Hee

Today they were talking about 'Pressed Ham'. (Ahem) That's when someone not only bares a full moon, but then presses it up against a window.

This story was then shared...

Several years ago, a rebellious teenager (now prominent Lehi law enforcement officer) was upset with his mom. To get back at her, and while she was delivering her Relief Society lesson, he gave her his pressed ham up against the RS room door. Oh yes, it was a windowed door.

Righteous.

Follow Up - Grey's

I saw a commercial last night for the season premiere of Grey's Anatomy. It showed a bloody McDreamy and a screaming Meredith.

I'm sorry if I just made the wait longer.

Nueve y Once

It might be because I'm home and actually have time for thoughts to exist in my brain, but I feel a little more reflective today than I have on this day in recent years.

I very much love and appreciate the tradition here in Utah for the YM & YW (and their faithful leaders) to deliver flags to our front yards on these patriotic days.

Even though we just had flags ten days ago on Labor Day, the flag seems to stand out brighter and braver today.

As I wrap this up, a simple thank you to all that provide our freedom seems pretty inadequate, but here goes: thank you.

Two Weeks Until Grey's

I predicted it! I knew it! And I called it before the season finale was over. McDreamy gets in a car crash on the way to break up with what's-her-name. I knew it.

A Couple of You Were Wondering

She's Taylor Swift, girls. The one who sings about Drew looking at her.

3 Things

#1) The last celebrity guest that made an appearance at David's holiday meeting today was Toby Keith. Too bad I hate country music.

#2.) It's fall girls! I made my way to Dillard's Clinique counter and picked up my bonus. Make sure that you check Macy's in a couple weeks for their bonus week. Double Bonus.

#3) You gotta love the Discovery Channel. (sigh) If Maddie had any questions about the miracle of life, Mike Rowe took care of that on Dirty Jobs. I came home from soccer practice and my 11-year-old is on the couch watching the extraction of (baby making fluid) from turkeys. (more sighing)

She's There Too

Maddie is going to lose her mind when she gets home from school and sees the clip (that David emailed me) of her singing today.

He's There

So I think it's safe to say that his little panda movie will be out on DVD soon.

Stay Tuned For Further Updates

It's that time of year again!

David is off at his big Christmas meeting at Dallas, and what do I care about?

The celebrities.

(other meetings I care about what he's going to bring me)

In the past I've gotten text messages from this massive meeting, him alerting me to Steve Carrell or Hannah Montana being on stage. Other times he simply dials me and holds his phone up to hear people like Bruce Willis performing.

(So far) I've only gotten one text, and that is one of our favorite female Olympians is there:

The Third Degree

Was I naive enough to think that THIS was going to be the only post of it's kind?

Here we go again.

Twenty minutes ago it became apparent that I didn't ask that most important question: are the parents going to be home?

They weren't.

But the teenage older sister was. Fat lot of good that did.

Maddie was invited over to a friend's house for games and a late night. She was invited to stay until 10pm, but at 9:30 I was ready for her to be home.

It was a bit chilly as I walked a block to get her. And as I got closer, I saw 6 girls running around, chasing each other with sparklers.

Yes.

Sparklers.

Of course, Murphy's Law, just as the thought 'someone is going to get hurt' runs through my mind, I hear my daughter's voice saying "I burned my finger".

I didn't let on to my anger/frustration, whatever - you fill in the blank, until we got home. I didn't want to give the neighbors a show. And when we got home she was lucky that all of the downstairs windows were open, keeping me from yelling.

We rinsed the burned fingers. I suppose I raised my voice a bit. She cried a lot. We hugged a lot (that's what she likes to do when she's busted). I asked her over and over if she has learned her lesson.

I've learned mine.

Remember to always ask if the parents will be home.

He's Just Not That In to You

Maddie is so Jaye.

She's on the couch, holding the cat against his will.

He's got the low pitch, under-his-breath growl trying to summon my assistance.

She has a sheet wrapped tightly around his body to prevent him from ripping her to shreds.

She maintains that his unhappiness is due to a catfight he got into last night. (trust me, I'm the lightest sleeper in the world: there was no cat fight)

If he doesn't watch out, he'll end up trapped under an up-side-down laundry basket.

And she'll convince herself that he wants to be there.

Clinique Girls: Man Your Stations

I'm thrilled to have my friend Tiercy with me in the blogging world.

But I feel like I should include a long list of disclaimers and warn her that this is my darker side.

This week has me feeling sort of restless. The political world is going to be in my face for the next 59 days or so. How can something take so much energy, without me moving a muscle?

I suppose I am using a muscle. THE muscle. My brain.

My brain is trying to figure out how I feel about the VP choice announced this week.

My brain is trying to figure out why it wasn't Mitt Romney and his financial genius that was chosen.

My brain is wondering why Harry Reid wonders why.

Switching gears, my brain is also wondering why I went not once, but twice to the Cheesecake Factory in the last 3 days. My stomach, on the other hand, isn't speaking to me. My tastebuds love me.

I suspect that I'm in to a full-on ramble at this point. But don't let me interrupt.

Oh. One last rant: David gave me 6-day notice about his trip to Dallas. Shouldn't there be a penalty when the duration of the trip is proportionate to the notice given on the trip?

Good thing it's almost Bonus Week.

The Hottest Day Ever (in Utah)

Are you kidding me?

Dear Mrs. Mother Nature,

Today is the first date I've had with my husband since the 90's.

Could we please swap today's forecasted temperature for say, Tuesday or Wednesday's?

It would be greatly appreciated since our date involves sitting in the sun, unable to move to shade or to the air conditioned indoors.

Your Friend,

Me

It's A Boy - Part 2

I forgot to mention the best part of the baby shower that I went to last Saturday.

The highlight of my week!

At the shower there were (gasp) games. Remember the yarn-around-the-waist game? You know, the one where you're trying to guess how big around the expectant mom is, without insulting her.

I won! Spot on!

My piece of yarn was the EXACT measurement of the 8 month pregnant mom!

Hold on. Hold on. Don't do a cartwheel in my honor just yet.

How did I manage such precision?

The yarn was the measurement of my (non-pregnant) waist.

Sigh

Hook 'Em Up Already!

He wants to be married with children.

She wants to be married with children.

Could someone please introduce my friend John Stamos to Jennifer Aniston?

(I would, but I can't get out to L.A. My schedule is just too tight.)

It's A Boy

I just got home from a baby shower.

But let me back up and tell you that I've been experiencing a huge allergy attack (see if I ever pull weeds again) and that disgusting green stuff is oozing from my eye. Maddie says I look like Frodo.

Yes, I took the oozing eye to the baby shower. It wasn't up to being left at home.

I didn't know the expecting mom nor her sister who was throwing it. But A'Donna wanted me to come and meet them.

They were great family. Hispanic, so there was a lot of translating. Someone brought their non-English speaking mom named Judith.

Stop the presses! Hispanic? A mom named Judith?

Surreal.

California is all around me.

PS I totally loved the family. Makes me really regret my lame gift.

A Question for the Universe

Or the Allergy Gods. I'd take an answer from either.

Why oh why must my face fill with snot and my eyes run like faucets everyday at 2pm, lasting until the next morning?

It's never happened before, and I would rather it didn't.

I was able to lounge on my wonderful sofa before, but now, I have places to go and people to teach. Allergies don't fit in.

So please, Mr. Universe and Allergy God, allow me to breath on my own without running for a tissue mid-post.

PS With all that I've spent on make up, it's not very efficient to turn around and cry it off. I'm just saying.

Soccer Moms Unite

How do you spell drama?

a-n-g-r-y-p-a-r-e-n-t-s

Since we've leaved here in Eagle Mountain, our kids have gone to a school that's about 6 miles from home.

Silly, right?

This year, our subdivision gets to go to the school that's just a mile and a half away. (note: the 5th elementary school for my poor kids)

We should rejoice in the new boundaries and living so close to school, right? Wrong.

We live too close to be bussed, and it is not safe for the kids to walk.

My kids will never walk.

Why? Let's see: busy street, (active) electric fence lining the pathway, day light savings, and hello, Utah winters.

Many parents filled the school board meeting Tuesday to plead their case.

Denied.

The parents met again to strategize.

One has now taken it to the TV station.

While all of this is inconvenient and somewhat annoying, there's a big part of me that doesn't mind. For the first time, my work schedule allows me to participate in...(wait for it)... carpool.

Silly? Maybe.

My kids would rather ride the bus and squeeze in an extra few minutes of socializing.

But I'm excited to take my turn.

The Age of Duh

You remember that when Jaye would get together with her buddy Shannon when they were kids, my mom would say that together they shared a brain.

They didn't always make the best of choices.

Is Maddie at that tween age? The age of chronic 'duh'?

She's not off to a great start.

We've got two of our favorite sleep over pals here tonight, Kawika and Tiarra (Jimmy and Sarah's) and Maddie and Tiarra have been pretty bored.

They (or probably Maddie) decided that they need to wash the cars. I tried to not have an OCD moment, and just let them do their thing.

Sigh.

I asked her several times when they came in for dinner if she was sure that they rinsed off all of the soap. Yes.

Then, when cleaning the kitchen after dinner, I asked for my dish soap.

Maddie informed me that it was all gone.

It was 3/4 full upon it's kitchen departure.

It turns out that my little genius decided that the bucket of soapy water wasn't getting the cars clean enough, and that she needed to apply the soap directly to the cars.

When I went out to the cars, the ones that she assured me were properly rinsed, there was a puddle of dish soap on the hood of my car.

Sigh.

I rinsed my car pretty well, but took David's through the car wash at the corner gas station.

This is the cause of my (self-diagnosed) OCD. Other people's messes.